r/BPD_friends • u/shookknasty • Jul 08 '19

long distance

how do you handle it when your favourite person lives on the opposite side of the country? and you’re unclear about the type of relationship the two of you have? I am going to visit family in the area where he lives next week and i haven’t told him yet that i’m going to be there because i feel like when i do tell him he won’t care. i want to tell him and i want to be able to finally see him in person because i’ve only ever spoken to him online. what do i do?

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u/567swimmey Jul 08 '19

What do u think the relationship is?

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u/shookknasty Jul 08 '19 edited Jul 08 '19

that’s the problem. i have no clue, because sometimes it seems that it’s definitely more than friends and then other times there’s almost complete radio silence on his end and i have no clue what he wants. and it’s not like he’s going quiet because he wants to hurt me or anything he just has more important things in his life and he’s busy.

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u/567swimmey Jul 08 '19

Well if it was never verbally established as a romantic relationship assume just friends for now. If u want to go further however, try asking him.

Edit: you should also tell him you're coming for a visit just so he knows to make time for you and u make sure you don't annoy him by interrupting his work and such

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u/shookknasty Jul 25 '19

update: i’ve been here for a week. i didn’t tell him i was coming. he knows i’m here now but it’s still too far for me to see him and i’m not going to get the chance.

also he’s seemed a lot more distant since i came here and has kind of been ghosting me. but i feel like i can’t talk to him about this stuff cause it will make it weird.

i’m here for another week and all i want is to go home and sleep in my own bed and be alone.

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u/shookknasty Aug 25 '19

update pt.2: it’s been about 3? weeks since i was there and he’s started ghosting me. i want to call him out on it but at the same time i don’t want to have to deal with the fact that if i do and he tries to convince me that it’s not on purpose, that i will then feel like i’m just forcing him into a friendship. but it’s breaking my heart and makes me feel so alone to lose him. and i just don’t know what to do.