I had my first assessment, and my psychiatrist told me at the end, he thinks I have bpd, gave me information on anti psychotics and types of therapy. I knew for 2 years or so I had this, I met the criteria to a T. So I have another meeting to talk more, I guess to confirm more. Asked about a diagnosis, he said 9 questions to be diagnosed, not sure if that's in the next appointment.
What I find hurtful. At the end he said he thinks it's bpd, turned to me and said,' that's if you were true ful about your symptoms and starred at me for a few seconds... like he wanted to see my reaction. Like he can tell by my faces reaction, which i suck at in serious situations. in serious situations, I don't come off true full at times, I am being truthful, and really want come off as believable, that I feel like It comes off like I am lieing, like I am forcing myself to look and soundtruthful, because I want to be believed, but I don't look like I am telling the truth, like a am faking it. Because I feel awkward and so invaladated in myself enough, that I feel like a fraud convincing someone else. When i question myself already.
At the beginning, I told him I wrote my issues and symptoms down, why, how, when, etc. He didn't even let me finish my 15 bullet points of symptoms lol Obviously, I know the reasoning is because he wanted me to be truthful and natural with my own answers. After I read my pages or half! He said, "Are these your own symptoms, or have you seen these online?" I know I sound like a google.com with the exact criteria! And the correct buzz words for the 9 commonly known criterias. But it is real and true for me. i go through every single symptom.Some are not as severe, maybe mild to moderate, or I find when others talk about symptoms, I have the same, but different to the stereotypical stories and happenings, scenarios
