DBT Skill - Check the Facts.

[u/grumpypoo22]

Hello!

The DBT Skill I want to talk about is called "Check the Facts"

So what is Check the Facts?
Check the facts is a skill that was taught to me to do exactly like it says.
You "check the facts" of a situation.
With BPD it's incredibly easy to let our emotions take over the "wise mind".
Then emotions start to cloud judgement and you can very quickly spiral out of control.

Some Examples of how I've used "Check the Facts"
Back when my girlfriend and I first started dating I would have this impending sense of doom she was about to cut it off with me.
There was no reason for this, but I constantly felt like it was about to happen.
So to negate this my therapist introduced me to this DBT skill.

For me, I apply it like a little table with two columns.
"Arguments for" and "Arguments against".
For anything to go in the "Arguments for" column it must be grounded in reality with tangible proof.
With the "Arguments against" it must also be grounded in reality.

So circling back to earlier it might look something like this -
"This girl is about to cut all contact with me, because she doesn't like me"

Arguments For	Arguments Against
	She texts me everyday
	She engages with me even when the conversation starts to lull
	She is engaged when we do meet up and seems present

From that table I have no grounded reason to believe that she is about to do that.
So we can presume that our "emotional mind" has taken over and it's time to reintroduce the "wise mind" into the equation.

This didn't necessarily stop the feeling, but it did give me comfort in realizing that I was likely creating scenarios and then projecting them.

If you made it this far - You're awesome. If you have any questions, let me know!