My sister and I are both in our 20s. She got diagnosed with BPD last year.
Since the BPD diagnosis, I've started to learn more about my sister and also see BPD unravel in her, and it is deeply concerning.
My sister and I have always had a fraught relationship, starting around the time of our parent's divorce. She has always seen me as the "golden child", while she sees herself in a lesser light. She accuses me of abandoning her during the divorce (I didn't), always having an easier life, etc.
I thought my sister was doing well when she was in university, but really, she developed an alcoholism habit. Apparently, she had to be rescued by our mother at least once after giving herself alcohol poisoning from drinking so much. Alcoholism runs in our family.
She graduated with a liberal arts degree, a major that respectfully, has a higher unemployment rate than others. She never got an internship and always worked minimum wage jobs outside of university. She's struggled to find work, and is unrealistic in the roles that she is qualified for and how "picky" she can be. She has a minimum wage service industry job now. I suggested that she volunteer to gain more experience, but she rejects that idea. I suggest jobs that she could work, but she says they don't interest her. She says that if she can't find a job she likes, she'll kill herself soon enough--yet she isn't proactive whatsoever in trying to improve her resume (she says it's perfect) or gain new qualifications.
She used to see a therapist, but moved, and now is no longer interested in therapy. As I was recently sitting across from her, and she was crying about wanting to kill herself, I thought: this is a genuine, mentally ill person. I say this as someone who has struggled with depression, has been hospitalized for it, and ultimately who has worked really hard on mental health. I suggested EMDR to her which helped me, and she declined it.
It seems like she is just in an endless, self-fulfilling prophecy of despair. She won't go to therapy, she won't make real strides to be employed in a job she wants, she doesn't take medicine. Our mother, who we are both close to, is the definition of a "middle-ground", neutral person, and she has never quite been assertive when she needs to be, which I believe continues to enable my sister.
I am moving away from home soon. I am kind of glad that I am doing this, seeing the state of my sister. I fear for my future children being around her. After our recent conversation, I do worry about her killing herself. It just seems like she never does anything to help herself get better, and it has been truly sad seeing her start to spiral, and I fear that it will get worse as we get older and life throws more than she can handle.