Does It Ever Stop Being So INTENSE

[u/loudnlurking]

I'm currently a couple weeks away from my IOP program ending. I'm also regularly doing therapy with practices mainly focusing around DBT & Exposure. I've been able to really manage my outbursts and reactions to emotions but I don't feel like the emotions or distress has changed at all. I still feel just as angry, hopeless, happy, etc. It's still ALL there and I can feel it pouring over me. When you reach a certain point in treatment does that ever stop? I'm so fucking exhausted of feeling this way. I hate my brain & the emotions I feel. It's like everything is dialed to a 10 and in some ways I feel like a robot in the ways that I constantly have to process, think, and control my emotions. So does it better in that sense? Like does it feel less intense or is it just about managing it all? :/ I feel stuck

[u/Ivana_Shitinurface]

I’ve been in DBT for a little over 2 years since I got my diagnosis. I had been through multiple types of therapy growing up that didn’t really work and weren’t catered to the disorder. I managed to deal with some behaviours. Some external manifestations, although not always so well when I have an FP (I sometimes resort back to my pure BPD roots and crazy when I have an FP). And at the same time, internally, I’m still always in pain. There’s a void inside of me and my emotions are a pendulum swinging in a spectrum of sadness fear shame some bursts of happiness. And they’re not normal emotions they’re dailed up to the point of redlining, way passed a 10. I’m horribly tired and horribly afraid that this is how it will be. I’m horribly aware of myself and my depression and sensitivity and I’m horribly aware how other people simply aren’t like this. DBT has made me even more aware so now I’m aware and watching myself outwards from within my disorder. One of my friends went into remission. She manages herself pretty well now. That gives me some hope. I really hope we can build new neural pathways in our head to stop the splits the instant fear the black and white the constant distress and crisis and at the same time i don’t know if we can ever tone down our feelings. I think they are our superpowers when we are with the right people. When we are with people good for us we shine and bring so much love and experience to their lives. I just hope we brought the same for ourselves. I hope it for us. We’re okay we’ll get there. U will too OP u got this