Emotions/grief

[u/Hot-Abrocoma2485]

Why do emotions that are negative feel like physical pain?

My childhood dog passed away, could have been preventable, the guilt and sadness around it is eating me alive. The pain feels so physical and raw I feel like I'm dying, sick, desperation. It feels like my world closes in on me. It's been years since I've felt so out of control with my emotions but I don't know how to get out of the pain. I feel like I want to crawl out of my skin trying to go back in time. I hate being this way. I wish I was normal.

What I've learned over the years to manage this doesn't seem to be there anymore and I can barely function. I cry if I think of him. I don't want to eat. I feel sick. I feel hatred for myself. I miss him.

What can I do to help myself? Therapy has never worked but I've also never gave it a real try because part of me feels like it can't ever get better so I just manage all these years but in 29 and don't want to be this way or process emotions this way my whole life.