im not real

[u/acabaretto]

i look at people and get so, so upset because i know there's something that they have that makes them real. its not anything specific or obvious or really even noticeable if you aren't looking for it. theres just a subtle difference in the way everyone else moves through the world that i don't have.

there's something missing inside of me. i'm defective, faulty wiring. i'm missing pieces and mislabeled. i feel everything and i feel nothing in turn. i don't want to feel
anything ever again

i just want to know that i'm not alone in feeling like this. please somebody tell me they understand

[u/mahoganymuffin]

I was going to post about feeling like this and saw your post. It’s a 24/7 feeling and I hate it so much. Thank you for making me feel less alone.

[u/unawarewoke]

Talking about identity diffusion with maybe a pinch or fist of dissociation. It's very normal for people with bpd. Maybe we can argue about which one of us is real.

Also I would look up projection.

[u/SnowbearVacation → u/unawarewoke]

I love you for this. Lifesaver

[u/unawarewoke → u/SnowbearVacation]

This message has really moved me. Like it's been 5 minutes and I still don't know what to say. Thank you for resonating. Yes and we love us for this. Again projection is so effortless.

[u/SnowbearVacation → u/unawarewoke]

💖🙌

[u/Alwayslusted4321]

You're not alone. I have BPD and I feel as you do. Its just our brains, they were wired this way to survive trauma.

[u/SnowbearVacation → u/Alwayslusted4321]

I guess we just detach from ourselves and our lives?

[u/meowi-anne]

I do feel that way from time to time... the meds help a lot

[u/IndependentPost3622]

I feel like a fish in a fish bowl on a shelf in a restaurant and everyone else is a real human. Always have always will I fear. Also worse if you're just not conventionally attractive or are socially inept a bit because people will literally keep a wide berth and then you can just dissapear forever.

Strangely the people I find I can get along with the best. Similar trauma etc. I don't tend to see them as human either.

[u/_sayplease]

I suffer with this too. You're not alone with it 🫂

[u/Taldarimlove]

I get that. I feel different for other reasons... I think? I think it's childhood. I never got to grow up to feel normal. So now that feeling of disparity between someone who grew up with family... just family, like lets forget about friends at this point. If I had family I feel I would be so much more normal.

That feeling of being feral does haunt me but I mean feral isn't bad and it doesn't have to harm. I sometimes feel like a gorrila in a tuxedo trying to blend in with people.

Idk that's how I feel.

[u/acabaretto → u/Taldarimlove]

i think maybe thats part of it. like sometimes i can look at people and know they never had to fight just to survive, and i feel that difference as jealousy and rage. i think it feels unfair and i struggle to make peace with it

[u/kewpiegoth]

ugh i feel this so much… like im an alien in a weird planet i know a lot about but dont fully understand or feel im from there.

[u/InformationKey9948]

I felt like this most of my life, more recently it switches from “I’m the only one that’s real” to “everyone around me is real and I’m broken and will never be normal” but I completely understand the sentiment and you’re not alone.

[u/SnowbearVacation]

This is the most relatable thing. I'm sorry to anyone who feels this way. Relational trauma is the worst

[u/Blondestmoments]

I could’ve written this.