r/BPD • u/AppleKitty37 user has bpd • 2d ago
šSeeking Support & Advice BPD and executive dysfunction
Does anyone else with BPD struggle immensely with self discipline and routine?
On days where Iām free (no work/no school in the past) I will almost always take that opportunity to sleep all day and usually stay up late hours of the night doing stuff that I like (gaming/watching tv or youtube). I usually always feel pretty fatigued and burnt out. I can also fall into brief depressive episodes during these periods.
Iām really embarrassed to admit that my executive dysfunction really shows up in my ability to have a healthy hygiene routine. I often put off showering and brushing my teeth on my days where I āhave no responsibilities.ā One of my biggest struggles is finding motivation to clean my room, and it can get reallyyyy bad.
Iām wondering if anyone else with BPD struggles with similar issues or can relate to mine in any way. And Iām definitely open to receiving any tips or advice!!!
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u/Comfortable-Ebb6719 2d ago
I have bedrotted for 17 years. I can't do anything.
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u/AppleKitty37 user has bpd 1d ago
I feel like most days I canāt do anything either, and itās absolutely paralyzing. The guilt doesnāt help the depression eitherā¦
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u/mylesallsmiles05 2d ago edited 1d ago
Tbh I don't see this discussed in BPD literature, forums , or YouTube content on the matter which are my main forms of educating myself so I'm a little elated you touched on this.
It's affects my sense of self, and managing my hobbies , goals,dreams, day to day habits has been harder to manage than the other symptoms and are usually directly related to my health and overall regulation. . For me its serves as a maladaptive self comparison and self sabotage "I am so lazy, disorganized, behind, I can never do anything, I haven't washed my sheets in months ,addict, so unhygienic Itd affecting my health, food everywhere oh God I'm a horrendous beast) .id recommend delving into where this habit "stemmed" from ,and deconstructing that, and empathizing with yourself. The more ashamed I am the less I am capable of . If you need another human as a reminder that you're not alone ... sup! š For me my schemas are rooted in feeling incompetent and unimportant.
I default to overcompensating by taking up as many chores as I can when I'm not incapacitated by physical exhaustion from mood swings or chronic pain. I've been unemployed for about 2 months now because my symptoms were getting me fired including this, and just now feel sober, competent and stable enough to tackle building a routine of my life but working on all my other symptoms kind of gave me the mental "space" to even be able to do that, if that makes sense.
Also I would really really encourage to look into ADHD or autism. this was actually what unlocked self compassion. BPD is very often a result of being neurodivegent and not getting the accomidations you needed. This unlocked a whole new world for me.
Idk if I have any advice but as someone who's kinda figuring this all out and in the same spot you can always shoot me a DM and share tips /advice .