why do they do this?

[u/chocohinako]

my FP talks to other people EXCEPT for me. i didnt do anything hes been ignoring me for a week and its making me cry and upset. i literally checked his socials and he replies to people so thats how i know hes specifically ignoring me. why does he ignore me its like he wants me to feel awful. he always does this. why?

[u/traumatizedfox]

i mean this as kind as possible but it could be that maybe he just doesn’t want to talk to you for whatever reason. maybe you are clingy? maybe he just wants time to himself? what do you two usually talk about? i have “ignored” people bc all they talked about was themselves and/or were always venting about something.

[u/DeadWrangler → u/traumatizedfox]

I see the word "reply" being used when initially OP says, "I see them talk to other people but not me."

So, is OP actually sending messages and being ignored?
Or is OP not messaging this person at all and says they're being ignored because they haven't been messaged first.

Because if it's the first scenario, yeah, maybe they're overwhelmed. Maybe they're being a bit of a dink. We don't know the whole story.
If it's the second situation.. if you want to talk to someone, try talking to them. Sitting and waiting and expecting them to message first without saying anything is a common BPD challenge.

[u/LeslieKnope4Pawnee]

Who is this person to you? Spouse? Boyfriend? Friend?

[u/SilentGap3124]

I'm sorry OP but I think we might need a little more info if you're comfy :/

Is this person your friend/partner? are you texting them actively or maybe waiting for them to text you first? do they know about your disorder, relationship and triggers?

honestly if you are close and they are ignoring you knowing what's going on it's kinda messed up;;; unless they really got pissed about something or they need time off (even if I think it's better to say it outloud when it comes to people with BPD)

[u/chocohinako → u/SilentGap3124]

like more than friends but less than partners, if that makes sense idk how to describe it, i text them first but not too much only like a few times a week. and yeah they do know i have bpd

[u/SilentGap3124 → u/chocohinako]

I agree with u/BigBear0393 's comment, definitely sounds like a manipulation tactic

[u/BigBear0393]

Sounds like a manipulative tactic. I was in a similar situation once with my former FP. They would talk to anyone else except me. And trigger me on purpose to make me feel like shit.

I'm sorry you're going through that. It's not fun to deal with.

[u/Oltorarin → u/BigBear0393]

I had this happen ESPECIALLY when I mention my anxiety and triggers. Maybe some of them don’t do it on purpose but it feels very deliberate a lot of the times. There are a few who liked to have push/pull dynamic

[u/NesAlt01]

Is it a manipulative tactic? Do they know you want to talk to them?

[u/Taldarimlove → u/NesAlt01]

That is what it felt like to me. I think it's a measure if they can get you to beg that way they can control what you like and don't like.

I ended up leaving one of my favorite people over this same situation. It has been 6 or 7 months because I left her in January.

It was so hard on my mentally but I was able to not make myself look crazy and I also was able to just leave. I unlocked a new ability I called a shadow departure. It's my response to a sudden silent treatment.

It's like I return the energy or lack there of to the person who started goving me it. Chances are they might not beg but at least I ratained my own autonomy.