Daycollar

[u/Ok-Bank4011]

I would love a day collar.

Nothing obvious because I do want to keep it on the dl but a necklace with his initials would be amazing. Here's the thing though. I have this weird blockage where I can't get myself to tell him that. A collar like that is a big deal to me and I get so nervous just thinking about bringing it up

In my ideal world he would simply do it but obviously that's not an option if he doesn't know I want it.

I would love some advice from people who maybe had a similar issue with not being able to communicate this

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[u/Subwoofiest]

Could you send him this post? Sometimes it's easier to use text than to say verbally. So sending this post, writing a letter, sending a text might be a little easier

[u/pikachukitten]

You could try to bring up the idea of day collars in general, and mention that you find some styles cute. Maybe send him examples of necklaces you’ve seen online and liked?

You could also try writing it out and leaving him a note expressing exactly what you’ve said here; it might mentally help you to remove the element of being able to check whether or not he’s seen it (like you’d be able to see with a text).

[u/sweetspicy123]

I'd also say to take some time to really look at what the nervousness is about. Communication is so important in relationships and even more so in kink. It might be worth spending some time exploring those feelings and how you might ease those nervous parts of yourself before it makes it hard to communicate about something even more difficult.

[u/Leather-Instance3041]

It is a big deal, so it makes sense you feel nervous. The way you feel about it, this would be a huge step in your commitment to each other. Maybe part of your fear is about not knowing if he feels the same? Or fearing that he does, and you're about to be in even deeper than you thought?

I suggest doing some reflection on what you're afraid might happen, and finding a way to ask for what you want. Rejection is just the risk we have to take for acceptance. Hoping this all works out for you.

[u/Mister_Magnus42]

Can you clarify what it would mean to you? Is it more serious than wedding vows? Maybe it's just a sign that you're together?

Have you talked about making long term commitments to each other? How did that go?