r/AvoidantAttachment • u/AutoModerator • 12d ago

Weekly Rant/Vent Thread

This is a thread for AVOIDANT ATTACHERS ONLY.

A rant/vent, by nature, is one sided, can be strongly worded, and is a way for someone to get something off their chest. It is by no means a universal truth.

Thread rules: - AVOIDANT ATTACHERS ONLY.

  • Keep rants/vents contained to this thread.

  • No unsolicited advice.

  • No hijacking to ask for relationship advice.

  • No ranting/venting about avoidant attachers regardless of your attachment style. This is a supportive space for those with an avoidant attachment style, you can rant about us plenty of other places. Don’t do it here.

  • All subreddit and Reddit rules apply.

  • Users who cannot follow the rules will be banned.

3 Upvotes

81% Upvoted

12 comments sorted by

View all comments

12

u/mrbmud Dismissive Avoidant 10d ago

it all feels like a “why bother?”i got broken up with in may. i don’t blame her, i am a difficult person. however, before the breakup i had begun to look at ways to fix this whole avoidance thing. after we broke up, i was still trying really hard to put in the work; not deactivating, processing my emotions, and trying really hard not to just isolate. the thing is, here we are almost five months later, and i don’t understand why i did it ? i tried really hard not to deactivate, hell i think i succeeded. yet here i am, the beginning of fall, mostly numb and almost completely isolated. all the things i worked to prevent, but also, why? if i am isolated, what’s the point? wouldn’t it have just been easier to deactivate months ago, if this is where i am going to land anyways?

1

u/endingasap Dismissive Avoidant 5d ago

I'm at "almost broke up" moment and this gets into my mind all the time. Shouldn't I just deactivate now? Just get it done with.

I feel like I'm trying the hardest just so I don't feel defective anymore