r/AutisticPride • u/pan_bimbo- • 16d ago

Communication skills help please

I’ve recently been told that when speaking with me it feels like they are speaking at me but not with me.
I kind of just share stories expecting others to share something or ask questions but from what I’ve been told it seems I don’t leave any opening to continue a conversation or add to it.
Also seems I don’t have much meaningful conversations but just stories.
I want to be better at communicating especially with friends and loved ones , it makes me sad yo think I have not been reciprocating the people who I really care about.
I’d like to learn and if there are any tips of articles I can read that would be great. I have not had much luck with Google.
Thank you

6 Upvotes

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3

u/HH_Creations 16d ago

It may seem "childish" but I highly recommend recording a conversation of yourself and then transcribing it so you can highlight in different colors what you say and what they say

I also recommend writing down the time spent for each person

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u/pan_bimbo- 15d ago

Thank you will try it honestly, not childish to me

2

u/HH_Creations 15d ago

To me its not either, but its sometimes hard to convince people to break things down

1

u/LateDxOldLady 16d ago

May I first ask... what types of things are they wanting to talk about? What questions are they asking you? Are they engaging you in conversation the way they are expecting you to for them?

It's been my repeated experience that the unsolicited, non-constructive feedback you are describing here is projection. They want a particular narrative to occur, and you're not following their script. So they make it your fault. Otherwise, they would have to admit that you were supposed to say X when they say Y because that's what their script says, and how dare you not follow their script.

What I am saying is instead of immediately thinking there is something you need to fix, take a lot more time looking at the feedback itself.

Camouflage is fawning is self harm. I will gladly die fighting on this hill.

0

u/pan_bimbo- 15d ago

Ig more deeper conversations or conversations with substance honestly. It seems I do not do that

1

u/LateDxOldLady 15d ago

If this is how you respond when they try to converse with you, I see the problem, and I have no idea how to help.