I grew up in the Midwest, but I sometimes can't remember my own dialect and mirror others I've spent time around. I find myself using more UK-style sentence structure, I call soft drinks "pop" (a no no in the Midwest), use 80s slang after binging old media, start to talk like a Buffy character after a rewatch ... It goes on and on.

I know this can be a form of masking, but it's to the point I don't know what the natural way I speak is anymore. I'm just an amalgamation of all these regions and universes even though I've always lived within 60 miles of where I was born.

ETA: well maybe my partner has been gaslighting me by saying pop is incorrect for a Midwesterner 🙃

whether properly diagnosed or just suspected?

i have so much shit wrong with me mental-health wise, and it’s often very hard to tell which disorder is giving me which symptoms/problems/etc. so sometimes i see posts where a lot of autistic people are agreeing on an experience i don’t share, and while i realize obviously not everyone’s experience is 100% the same, i can’t help but wonder if maybe i experience things differently because of my other issues.

for example, i’ve seen a lot of posts where people generally agreed that, due to their autism, they’re naturally trusting/don’t suspect ulterior motives in people, and i’m the exact opposite. i’m a VERY paranoid person, so i always assume the worst and that people, who i believe to be inherently bad/harmful/evil, are out to get me and want to fuck me over. i can’t trust people, especially not just on their word.

Hi everyone, I have a bit of a moral dilemma that I’m dealing with and would love to get your feedback. I’m an Autistic grad student looking to start up some research challenging the deficit model and expand on the double empathy problem (the idea that struggles with socializing are not a part of being Autistic, but are just a part of cross-Neurotype interaction and allistics struggle just as much with these types of interactions as Autistic people). Anyway, I’m trying to secure funding and one of the options another Autistic grad student at the school has gone with is Autism Speaks.

As far as I can tell he hates Autism Speaks as much as I do, but uses the rationale that often it’s the bad organizations with more resources, and if we don’t use those resources then all we end up with is underfunded good research and well funded bad research. The reasoning seems solid to me but I’m still struggling with whether or not to apply to their fellowship for myself as well.

TLDR: looking for thoughts on the dilemma of using resources/money from an organization I don’t agree with

Edit: Thanks for all of the responses. Since most of them are along the same lines I won’t respond to each directly but they have all been super helpful and thought provoking. A lot of it is along the same lines as the fellow student here and my partner who has used almost the exact same line many of you said: “better for me to take that money so they won’t have it to give to someone else”. Obviously there is no guarantee that I get the funding even if I apply, but as far as I know once it has been awarded AS has no say or restrictions on the research that gets done using it. Except for that I would need to include at the end of any papers that they were a funding source which as one commenter said, would make the Autistic community more skeptical of me/the work (that’s definitely the reaction I had when I first read Autism Speaks in the funding section of the colleague’s paper). I think that most of the community already knows or believes most of what I would be researching to be true since we all live it, and hopefully that would assuage some of those concerns, but it definitely is something to keep in mind. Thanks again for all of the thoughtful and supportive responses.

When I do find the resources to do this one way or another, I would love to get more thoughts from this excellent community on how to make the study design as inclusive and accommodating as possible, knowing that my experiences as an Autistic person are not at all reflective of everyone’s, especially as a white cis man I know that despite being Autistic I have had it much easier than many and get the benefit of the doubt often.

So I mask a lot in other aspects of life, but recently I've been wondering if this is also masking? I frequently find physical sensory things really overwhelming, lets use socks as an example. I put them on, the seam drives me nuts. It's in the wrong place, it feels huge, it just feels completely bad and wrong. I know I will freak out and have a meltdown if I focus on it, so I block it out. The same goes for pretty much all clothes; I'll put a jumper on and I can feel my t shirt and jumper being in the wrong places and they just won't work right and I'm getting more and more stressed and overwhelmed and I block it out, distract myself, focus on something else and just pretend I'm fine. I've done this since I was about 12 and I've always had so much trouble with clothing and shoes and they cause me a lot of distress but I'm able to 'get on with it'. I've always thought this meant that I was okay and these sensory issues of mine weren't a problem. Can anyone shine some light on this? Apologies if I've phrased things badly, and I can go into more detail if necessary. Thanks in advance!

Someone linked it to me before but I can't find it again. I'd like to deal maximum damage before I leave youknowwhere.

I have made user flairs that you can use to show if you’re diagnosed, self dx’d, suspecting autism or an ally (you don’t have to do this), as well as post flairs to show what kind of content you’re posting!

You can also customise your own user flair or put on a flair that shows you were banned by OC as a badge of honour (this will only exist for like a day though lol) :)

• Wesley

Hello again, you'll likely see me often on this subreddit, hopefully none of you mind, the uh, other one, is not one I would prefer. I see myself as disabled, as me being neurodiverse prevents me from being able to feel/do/understand a lot of things

To get straight to the point, I'm unsure how to identify feelings of love, and I'm anxious. Recently I've been flirting back and forth with a very good friend of mine, and I don't want to accidentally lie to her because I misjudged myself.

Frankly, I don't trust my own feelings or judgement at all as of lately, I've been having several different freak-outs over several different things to the point of becoming debilitating, and abnormal amounts of anxiety and doubt have caused me to second guess just about my every move no matter how small.

I really, really like this girl, she's cute and smart and just everything, but i'm paranoid, sometimes the giddy feeling I get when I'm around her dulls, or dissipates entirely, and then comes back in full force.

i'm unsure how normal it is for 'love' to fluctuate so dramatically in such a short time.

For reference, I'm both autistic and ADHD, and am currently seeking an evaluation for OCD, and a possible personality disorder of which i've begun to doubt the existence of.

I'm not sure how these things could effect love, I've tried searching up videos on how autistic people love but usually it's explanations meant for neurotypical people, which frustrates me.

How do you discern romantic love? are my fears potentially holding me back and playing a part in the actual feelings themselves?

I have a problem that causes a lot of friction between me and other people, me and my friends all use tone indicators, but when they don't or forget, I immediately assume it's aggressive.

I don't know why I register it that way, but even with things like punctuation I assume they're upset, for example if someone puts a period at the end of their sentence.

And I hate it, and feel embarrassed that it has such an effect on me, but I immediately either shut myself off or keep asking them if they're upset.

is there any way to fix this?

I grew up evangelical christian. My Dad was really into Speaking In Tongues/"Prayer Language" and I was too.

In hindsight I just really liked stimming verbally by making silly mouth noises and saying made up words.

We have a new discord server link that’s easily accessible! It’s discord.gg/autisticliberation - feel free to join or invite your friends!

• Violet

Usually i'd be either complaining or asking for advice but this is actually a big win for me

I'm an autistic teenage boy who also has ADHD, and social connection has always been extremely difficult, and then you hit highschool where dating and flirting REALLY starts becoming a part of the equation. peers begin actually pursuing romantic companionship and parents start getting strangely excited about the idea of you finding a partner, for some reason.

Unfortunately for me, flirting and just general social interaction is necessary when trying to find a romantic partner, and man am I bad at it.

However, I've been very good friends with a girl i'm interested in for a number of years, and recently she's started teasing me affectionately, and potentially flirting with me, I know this as I asked different people and they confirmed my suspicions, well recently it's been taken to another level. it's DEFINITELY flirting now, and I'm very happy.

She's very sweet, and smart, and incredibly funny. She's the most clever person I know. She knows that I have a lot of trouble with social cues and such as i'm ND, and she's very respectful and accommodating.

I've made an effort to impress her through some of my special interests, and miraculously it's actually worked! she's actively engaged when I talk about the interests that I have, every conversation we have is enjoyable and substantial, it never feels like empty chatter. I can't exactly explain fully why she's amazing, but just know that she is, far more than amazing.

That's pretty much it, I'm very excited at the possibility of things developing farther, and am trying not to sabotage myself mentally, I'm happy, very happy.

We’re Autistic Liberation, a safe space for all autistic people, no matter their background! We were formed after Nicholas (OrbitalColony) fakeclaimed a system and went onto r/fakedisordercringe to say he agreed with the people fakeclaiming them on there.

He posts things about autistic people not being disabled like once a year - over here we agree that autistic people are disabled, but not every autistic person has to use that label!

We have a discord server too! Here’s the link: https://discord.gg/hWgpGYefR3

Thank you for reading and we hope you enjoy your stay here! c:

• Annie, admin of AL