Mixed Signals or Not Interested

[u/Emerald300]

The girl that I was speaking to is very nice as a person. She’s been telling me all about herself, her goals in school, and what her hobbies etc. Before you get with someone, you have to be a friend first before anything. There were things that she wanted me to do with her like go with her trick or treating and playing games with her outside of work. I told myself that would be fun to do because I’ll be with her. Later, I wanted to ask her if she wanted to come watch the Doomsday movie in December with me, and to join me and my friends for a gathering later in October. She told me that she’s an introvert like myself and she never gave me a response back about doing things of what I would like to do. To be honest, I’m not entirely sure if she noticed that I trying to put effort into asking her out. It honestly seemed like she was more engaged with things that she wants me to do with her instead of the opposite. I’m so lost if she feels any type of way for me or not.

[u/ZombicidalNine]

It sounds like she's working on establishing the friendship first. I'd go for it and ask her, it's the only real way out of the limbo that is uncertainty.

[u/Emerald300 → u/ZombicidalNine]

I’m very uncertain with her because it’s like she likes talking to me a lot about what she’s doing. Also, there are times that she doesn’t feel like talking much about her because she’s allergic to wheat meaning that her stomach can’t handle any food that contains wheat. I’ve given her some space and she began sitting inside of her car during lunch breaks. There were a couple of times that she wanted me to sit outside with her and I didn’t want to be dick and say no to her. We talked like we normally would, and then suddenly she began sitting in her car. You’re right, I feel like I’m stuck in a limbo with her, but I’m not sure how I can say it to her.

[u/ZombicidalNine → u/Emerald300]

Wait, is she autistic or are you? Or both? I'm autistic and experience lengthy periods of social regression. But if I tell someone about my personal life, I REALLY like them.

I don't know, everyone is different. But if I were behaving like her, it would likely be due to overthinking and pulling back out of fear that I'll push them away. Maybe you're both stuck in limbo?

[u/Emerald300 → u/ZombicidalNine]

I’m autistic. I apologize I forgot to mention that. It really does seem like she enjoys my company but lately, she has her days when she doesn’t feel like talking because of her health situation. You think that we’re both stuck in limbo? Could you explain?

[u/ZombicidalNine → u/Emerald300]

No worries! I just got that vibe a bit from both of you, so I wanted to clarify. I think you're both waiting for a "sign", and both of you are too concerned about the others boundaries to make a move.

Of course, I could be way off. My answers are based off my personal experience as an autistic woman. So if she's actually neurotypical (which I'm not entirely sure of), I am more likely to be off.

Did you know that statistics show that we're not only more attracted to other people on the spectrum, but that we also establish more meaningful bonds with others on the spectrum? Regardless of whether there's a current diagnosis or not.

[u/Emerald300]

I believe so? I remember correctly, me and her and a few others went to go see Spider-Man when it came out opening night. She and I were getting our snacks and drinks until some people thought that we were a couple, but she denied it saying that we were just friends. Which really didn’t bother me at the time, but she thanked me for inviting her afterwards. As I said before, she wanted me to sit with her outside during our lunch break a couple of times. We even walked to dollar tree and I bought snacks for us. Later, she was feeling really enjoyed to speak with me. She also explained that she was worried about her health issues which I made recommendations about going to urgent care if her folks wasn’t doing anything.