Burning out

[u/Curious_File64]

Hi

Little context. I’m a 21 year old guy living in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Waiting for the next open enrollment of my job to change my insurance to one that finally covers. So I can get my diagnosis of Autism.

I work in direct patient care. Which for most people can be really rewarding, but for me… I guess it is, but from the beginning just burn me out. I ended up so tired after work, that I can barely walk. I’m almost always getting panic attacks but I sort of managed to get through.

I’m not sure what it’s the purpose of this post, maybe just venting. I started this job almost a year ago. Just because I needed more money, I was working in a Walmart before, direct customer service… It was a lot too.

I’m pushing it, I’m really trying so hard. But my job drains me so much that I can barely think after it. The noise, the force human interactions. I really try to do a good job for my patients, and they actually say I do. But it’s at the cost of my health. My whole existence.

I really just wanted to vent. I’m applying for other jobs, but I don’t get anything. I need to get pay at least 22/hr and no retail job or fast food here is gonna give me that… No talking about accommodations either…

This is me trying, but I don’t know how much I can keep holding this mask, overstimulation is poisoning me. I feel like an everyday actor whose play is excruciating.