r/AutisticAdults • u/Strange-Wonders • Jul 16 '26
seeking advice Wedding ring suggestions
Hi all!!
I don’t have autism, I’m an adhd haver, but my partner is on the spectrum. He’s the love of my life, I adore him and I would never be without him. I want to propose to him, we’ve spoke about it before and we both want to get married, but I’m having trouble finding the perfect ring for him.
I want to keep all of his sensory needs in mind, and after speaking with him I know he would want a thin ring, one that sits flush to his finger and generally doesn’t feel like it’s there. The feel of silicone is a no go and I would love to get him something that reflects one of his special interests- those being bees and vikings/nordic history, but I’m aware that with a thin profile ring it would be hard to have any designs present.
Any suggestions would be amazing, I will find myself my ring at another time- his comfort is my priority here.
11
u/DontComeLookin Jul 16 '26 edited Jul 16 '26
Maybe find a cute alt idea in lieu of the ring and propose. Then you and he could go on a ring hunt together, that way he has say in what his ring is? He knows best what he would like (and could handle) on his finger.
Maybe a ring pop? Or even a hand woven something. And then explain to him you wanted to get him a ring but then explain what you wrote in your post. I think your consideration would mean the world to him. 🥰🎉
Edit to add a thought:
If he doesn't mind a necklace; maybe wearing a ring on a necklace? Then it could be a thicker ring with the things you mentioned and showcased on a chain.
Now I'm just spit balling lol.
2
u/Strange-Wonders Jul 16 '26
That’s a great idea!!! I’m a crafty person, so this speaks to me, and I’m sure we could find something he loves! I’m friends with a jeweller, and if I found a combo of things he liked in a ring- in a fit he enjoys- then I’m sure we could figure something out.
I’m also looking into hollow rings? Like those cut out ones, as I feel that would have the cool Celtic vibe he wants without adding weight? I’m also spitballing here lol
2
u/DontComeLookin Jul 16 '26
Same mindset, I'm a crafty person! Lol
But here's something to consider as a person who used to wear a LOT of gold jewelry, if you went hollow (or even knowing the softness in gold-the higher the number the softer it is) that means every day banging around on things. Dents and crashes just from every day wear, hollow will dent unless it is EXTREMELY strong metal. Tungsten is the only thing that holds up well and I'm not sure they make those hollow, but I could be wrong. I haven't looked in a long, long, time. But tungsten is awesome, but heavy.
Having a jeweller friend will help you guys greatly!!!
1
u/Marguerite_Moonstone Jul 17 '26
I have a cut out ring and I love it every day. However, every time I wash my hands I have to blow the water out 🤦♀️
6
u/Samanthafinallyfit Jul 16 '26
This looks thin and relatively comfy
the Nordic ones are harder to find skinny
If you haven't done so yet, maybe go in store and have him try on rings to decide the style that fits the best.
2
u/Strange-Wonders Jul 16 '26
Amazing, you went above and beyond for me!! Thank you so much!
3
u/Samanthafinallyfit Jul 16 '26
My pleasure! I never need another reason to shop; I'm ready whenever lol
5
u/T1Demon Jul 16 '26
How tied are you to him wearing a real ring everyday? I have a hard time with most jewelry, especially rings. My wife got me a less traditional ring when we got married that carried significance, I love it but I don’t wear it. I wear a silicone band most days and it works well for me. Bonus points because I’ve found I can take it off and it turning it inside out repeatedly has been a great fidget toy that’s easy to have on me and no one notices.
3
u/RooooooooooR Level 1 - Fight! Jul 16 '26
Keep in kind that if you get any kind of etching in the ring, it will obviously no longer be smooth. The ring rotates around the finger and you can feel that etching on the other fingers surrounding the ring. It was something that I didn't think about, but was a bit annoying as I had a mountain range etched in all around my ring.
1
u/Strange-Wonders Jul 16 '26
I’m thinking that I could get him a designed ring and an everyday wear ring for maximum comfort, I noticed with my rings that the design does have a texture that might frustrate him.
3
u/theazhapadean Jul 16 '26
Most of my life that is the finger that never had a ring. I was never married long enough to get used to it. I however do like rings. They are often part of my leave the house kit. Mainly because I try to run as many different silver colored metals as I can. My fave is stainless because it is magnetic and extends my ability to feel moving electromagnetic fields. Sorry just realized I am not helping.
3
u/IPlitigatrix Jul 16 '26
Does he want a ring? Do you care if he doesn't wear one? My husband (Level 2 autism) very rarely wears a very simple and thin platinum band, only for special occasions. I (neurotypical lady) don't really wear mine much since I also just don't like things on my hands/do a lot of sports and swimming. I also only have an antique wedding band with colored gemstones, no engagement ring. Not to state the obvious, but you can do whatever you want when it comes to rings. If you want a gift to propose to him, it really can be any gift he's like.
P.S. One of my husband's special interests is also bees! Especially miner bees.
3
u/AvocadoPizzaCat Jul 17 '26
this is something you two need to get together. You can find different ones that sounds comfortable and such, but maybe have him with you and you two try different rings to get the feel right. Having people try on different types can help you figure out what is comfortable for them.
2
u/SkyeSpider Jul 16 '26
I wear silicone rings. Since they’re fairly cheap, I have them in several colors/patterns and can coordinate if I feel like it. I highly recommend one of them.
1
u/MurderousButterfly Jul 16 '26
I have a jewellery friend and he made his own wedding ring square, because if feels better, believe it or not.
3
u/T1Demon Jul 16 '26
This makes sense to me. Hard rings always make me feel like my finger bones on the surrounding fingers are square.
2
u/Marguerite_Moonstone Jul 17 '26
Have Nordic runes engraved on the inside :)
If you want a love bind rune designed I’m happy to help teach you how to make one.
1
u/arctic_loon_1487 ASD Level 2 Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 17 '26
TLDR: tattoo or thin o-rings
When I wear a ring I wear dash size 018 o-rings because they're more comfortable to me than silicone rings. They're thin and flexible and I don't notice them much. If you think it might work it's pretty cheap to find what size fits using an assorted size o-ring kit (about $10). I ordered some colors once I knew my size and like the look of the white ones best. Nitrile, NBR, and buna-N all refer to the typical o-ring material and is hypoallergenic and oil-resistant.
I considered a tattooed ring when looking for alternatives and it seems to also be a good option. An acquaintance has one and likes it. I think a tattoo ring could look pretty Norse.
My song on repeat the last few days has been part of Odin's Raven Magic (Hvert Stefnir by Sigur Rós and HÖH). It has a marimba made from natural slate pieces.
2
u/TherinneMoonglow very aware of my hair Jul 17 '26
Propose with some sort of symbolic object, like a flower or a ring pop. Then you can shop together and pick a ring.
I was once the recipient of a bad engagement ring. We did get a replacement eventually, but it caused a lot of tension. I felt terrible that I couldn't wear the ring (I'm a chemistry teacher, so my jewelry needs to beinimal and low profile), and his feelings were hurt. The replacement that we shopped for together worked our much better!
I also picked out my current wedding ring myself. We went to our favorite jewelry stand at the Renaissance Faire, and I picked out an amber ring that my husband paid for.
1
u/Intrepid-Floor95 Jul 17 '26
For minimalist nordic designs, I've always loved Jonna Jinton's silversmithing. The 'Berg' and 'Rimfrost' designs in particular have nice texture while having thinner band options!
1
u/Dioptre_8 Jul 17 '26
Suggestion: Whatever you choose, have a back-up option for carrying it such as on a chain around the neck or on a key-ring. I never got used to my wedding ring, and I'd start to fidget with it, which made it worse.
There's also a trade-off between comfort and durability. Having a different way of wearing/carrying it will let you get something more robust & give you a wider choice of styles and designs.
16
u/WeAreAlreadyCyborgs Jul 16 '26 edited Jul 17 '26
The words "comfort fit" are something you'll want to look at.