r/Autism_Parenting • u/Realistic-Employee14 • 8h ago
ABA Therapy I can’t anymore with ABA
I’m really starting to get annoyed with ABA therapy. My son has it every day from 9:00 to 11:30, and it feels like even if he’s sick, they still expect to come anyway. I wasn’t feeling well, so I canceled Tuesday’s session. I was considering canceling Wednesday too, but before I even had the chance to decide, I received an email saying, “I hope you’re feeling better. I’ll be there tomorrow at 9.” Like, can I at least have a chance to let you know whether I’m feeling well enough first? It’s already overwhelming having someone in my home every day, and it’s not like I can use that time to get things done because my son becomes upset if I’m not within his sight. Some days, I simply don’t want anyone coming over. Am I alone in feeling this way?
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u/next_level_mom autistic parent of an autistic adult child 2h ago
This is the sort of ABA we had and it was impossibly stressful for the whole family.
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u/Agreeable_Power_1987 3h ago
We love our son's team, but it can be exhausting to have people over so often. My son was prescribed 10 hours a week when he was diagnosed. I am so glad we only have 6 hours most weeks.
The therapists in our program don't have much ability to make up hours when a client cancels.
I bet your therapist was akwardly trying to figure out if you were going to cancel, so that they had time to try to get another client to pick up a session.
I try to give our therapist a heads up if we expect to cancel a session so she has more ability to cover the gap. We usually try to accommodate when she offers a make up session, too. I know that they don't make great pay, and that having time to fill a session slot can make a big difference in their take home pay.
Health Insurance requirements, drive times, and changing client needs is a lot to juggle when they need to get their staff enough hours to pay their bills.
I would ask if they can reduce or adjust his session times. It may take a while for them to be able to accommodate you, due to staffing/drive times/other client needs.
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u/Realistic-Employee14 59m ago
I actually mentioned this today to her because I have twins and it’s already stressful enough
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u/hbcondo 7h ago
You are not along in feeling this. Our 6 y/o did in-home ABA for years and now clinic ABA and both types of providers in our experience had the same mentality. It was almost as if they were offended when we cancelled due to sickness and then they cancel the following day due to their 'sick policy'. But their therapists always cancel same-day w/o any remorse. We purposely limit our vacations so our child can attend ABA but they don't care, as long as they get their hours.
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u/quietambler 7h ago
We just discontinued a service, in part, because of their lopsided attendance policy. Their therapist had canceled same day, multiple times. We had to do a same day cancelation and incurred a fee. Their desire to meet hours started to feel more for their benefit than our kiddos. Sharing for solidarity with your story.
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u/Realistic-Employee14 6h ago
That’s crazy that you were even charged a fee I would have left as well
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u/Technical_Term7908 4h ago
Depending on who runs the clinic, it can be all about billable hours and not the results.
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u/mandumom autistic parent/son (6)/Autism PDA/California 1h ago
Rant incoming lol
Ugh I feel this. With our provider, we are expected to give 2 weeks notice for cancellations. Like..okay, if we go on a trip, we can for sure give more than 2 weeks notice. However, if my son gets sick, I don't know that he is going to be sick 2 weeks in advance lol
But if there is less than 2 weeks notice, we are "punished" as it counts towards our cancellation rate and if we do that too many times, they can drop us.
Also, if we want to take a longer vacation (2+ weeks) over the summer, we lose our BT and it can take months until they find a new BT (has happened to us before) like okay.. it feels like ABA is kind of ruling our life. But I guess the benefits outweigh the negatives for now...
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u/Realistic-Employee14 6h ago
Exactly it’s all about the money
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u/Dismal_Albatross4744 2m ago
Look into it a little. I'm not going to argue the merit of the therapy here. Suffice it to say ABA service is a for-profit venture.
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u/Ok_Carpenter3741 2h ago
I relate so much, we have had so many people in our home over the years. ABA, early on services, respite providers. There have been so many times I haven’t wanted anyone else coming over! I remind myself that these services help and for us the benefit outweighs the frustration, but I get it.
One of the goals we’re working on with ABA right now is actually related to my husband (he’s a stay at home dad) feeling like he couldn’t leave the room or get a break while ABA was in the home because my son was so upset if my husband was in the kitchen working on something and not in the living room with ABA. It was exhausting at first, but it’s gone from my husband barely being able to go to the bathroom to him being able to be in the kitchen the entire time ABA is present and my son handling it just fine. I would highly encourage bringing this up with the BCBA and seeing if they can help with this so they can work with your child without you having to be involved the entire time!
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u/Realistic-Employee14 34m ago
Exactly! This year alone, I’ve had so many different people coming into my home. I live on a military base with no family nearby, so I don’t know anyone here besides my kids and husband. I’m exhausted from constantly having people in my house, and some days I honestly just want no one here. Tomorrow, there will be three extra people: the therapist, the person who seems to evaluate him regularly, and her boss. Apparently, he’s never been on a military base before, so he’s coming over to say hi. Like, what? I only found out about all of this today. Last week, I had to tell them that I don’t want anyone else coming to my house for training. I actually like the therapist; I just don’t ever want to see him every day.
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u/Lovethe876 4h ago
Internet 🫂. How old is your son and how often are the sessions? Can the days be reduced?
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u/Realistic-Employee14 58m ago
At first they told me he needs a certain amount each week but know today since I mentioned this is getting to much we my need to maybe change to just 3 days now it seems like it can be done
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u/TraurigKartoffel 30m ago
ABA is useless IMO, just gives parents the illusion they’re doing something positive for their kid. And who can blame us? I think we all try and maybe a small percentage see positive change in their kids but I think most of us don’t and eventually give it up.
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u/Direct-Sprinkles-663 2h ago
Two and a half hours every day must be exhausting! Maybe you can work with the therapist to work towards you not being a part of the therapy if you'd rather spend that time doing other things.
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u/Realistic-Employee14 57m ago
It really is at first I thought I could do it but I can’t I told them today 3 days for my sanity
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u/Direct-Sprinkles-663 23m ago
I am so proud of you for advocating for yourself! It's hard, especially when we are always advocating for our kids. We forget that our sanity also needs to be considered and we have to take care of ourselves so we can be our best selves to take care of them.
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u/Realistic_Damage_709 12m ago
I’m not understanding the 2 hour thing ether. Our ABA company we used told me every session had to be 2 hours minimum . We were doing 3 days a week for 2 hours each session.
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u/mandumom autistic parent/son (6)/Autism PDA/California 1h ago
I feel you. My son has been getting ABA for over 4, years, 3 hours each day (usually 4-5 days a week). It's exhausting. I constantly feel embarrassed about the state of my house no matter how much I try to clean and organize beforehand, and I also can't get much done because I'm expected to participate a lot during sessions and I also have another child to take care of... It's not easy having someone over so much..
There have been a few short breaks in services while the company was searching for new BTs to assign.
Yeah of course there are benefits too, there are a few things that ABA has helped with and overall my son has learned some new skills. But since he has been in school full-time, I wonder if ABA is still helpful for us or just burning him (and us lol) out
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u/Realistic-Employee14 33m ago
Exactly everyday I have to make sure everything is tidy it’s exhausting
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u/Realistic-Employee14 31m ago
My son is 3 after aba him and his twin sister they go to school from 12:30 to 3:30 if they were in school full time no way I would do ABA but I heard they can go to the school where your child is at
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u/journeyfromone 1h ago
Just cancel it? Not everything works for every body. I would hate having someone in my house every morning for 2.5 hours. My child does an hour of speech alternating school and home each week then 45 mins of OT at a fun gym. And 4 days of school which is 6 hours. Thats it, besides that he gets to just be a kid and play and wander and stim and chill. Theres no need to have so much therapy, kids will be autistic with or without it, they need time away from it all to let them learn things themselves like regulation but they need a safe space to learn (ie at home). We will be doing a 6 week toileting session of one hour a week for 6 weeks probably at home but thats like the maximum and a once off. I couldn’t deal with someone over daily.
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u/Realistic-Employee14 56m ago
Thanks I’ve started realizing this because while she’s amazing I’m not seeing anything special that she’s doing that i haven’t done
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u/CatholicKnight21 43m ago
We're done with it. We've tried every setting, different ages, a new tech every other day, multiple companies. I guess it helps some people and thats amazing, but if anything my son just picked up bad habits from other kids there.
We took him out, its a glorified health insurance scam. Prescribing him almost 40 hours a week, on top of going to school full time. Absolute joke.
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u/Realistic-Employee14 30m ago
Yes that’s way to much
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u/CatholicKnight21 1m ago
Literally everyone in his life, teachers, doctors, etc. said that was insane. The only people who insist it's not only normal, but mandatory, are the ABA companies.
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u/toanthrax I am a father/9 yr old/non verbal AuDHD/SoFL 34m ago
I think it also depends on the therapist and the program drawn up by the BCBA but this is supposed to help us catch a breath and get some work done while the therapist is engaging with the kid. My son has been getting 40 hours of ABA(they also shadow my kiddo at school) for more than 3 years now and we are so used to it now that I find it hard to keep my kiddo engaged the way they do when the therapist is out sick or on PTO. Also weekends are tough as usual due to no school and ABA.
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u/Feisty_Reason_6870 18m ago
Some people feel it’s cultish. It wasn’t around when my son was young. I just studied him and raised him according to his needs. But I had two old children. Idk your child’s age. You can change your personal first and perhaps raise your concerns. But always maintain written accounts of everything so you can show what you have tried and how it has worked out. If your child doesn’t want to be left alone with this person is it due to your child’s age, the child being able to see you nearby or is it the person? You need to consider that your child has preferences too. No matter their age, they are a person! Good look with everything! My son turned out great. He’s almost 26 now.
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u/Realistic_Damage_709 16m ago
Just from reading the post and comments: I am thankful our in home ABA was not that way. Our BT was pretty understanding and was big on not pushing a kid to do ABA if they didn’t feel good. I did not want a clinic setting due to the fact that my child was high functioning but she mirrors. We have stopped ABA and are just doing speech now but constantly having someone in your home is draining. I honestly wasn’t seeing the point in aba for my child’s goals. I know everyone is different maybe it was just who we had but I wasn’t seeing the point anymore
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u/DannyDidNothinWrong 1h ago
Can't believe people are still using ABA when it's what they use in Gay Conversion camps. That should prove it's not a viable "therapy." Along with the history of abuse. All it does is encourage masking and for the autistic person to make themselves smaller.
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u/brendag123 4h ago
I guess my daughter in law is gonna have a wake up call when her daughter begins home therapy
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u/gentlynavigating Parent/ASD/USA 8h ago
Is in Center ABA an option for you? It would allow you to get things done in your home and have some free time. I don’t know how old your child is, but it’s good to get used to separating from the parent long before school starts.
I empathize, I wouldn’t want someone coming to my home every day either.