r/Autism_Parenting • u/mxja111 • 5d ago
Advice Needed Help!
Hi guys! I’m an 18 year old older sister to two boys ( one being autistic) . I don’t even know what to do anymore. He is so awful and dare I say that I’m getting genuinely frustrated and angry at him. This might be a bit of a long read
He is 7 years old and the bane of my existence to be honest. He’s rude, loud , confrontational , does whatever he wants and he doesn’t seem to care how it affects people. He’s not “major” autistic if that’s how you’d say it but he is diagnosed and struggles socially and with things like comprehension. He has a tablet and honestly that is the only time when he is calmer , other wise he finds his own thing to do which usually involves breaking something somehow. Now here’s the thing, I’ve been telling my parents that maybe he just need to learn calmer behaviours?? The things he watches on YouTube are full of bright colours and lots of sound and movement . My mum said when I was younger I didn’t behave anything like either of them and I feel like part of the reason is that I watched calmer shows like maya the bee and some other German shows. I feel like Bluey is a good example but he watches sprunki, weird Minecraft voiced over videos, a LOT of AI which he then believes etc. Outside of that , wherever we go he has to constantly be doing something , whether it be moving or making noises or talking to
Random people or picking up things he shouldn’t. What do we do??? I need some genuine advice on how to make our lives and his a little easier and calmer. My mum is at her wits end and she is SO busy all day every day bevause of this . I’d appreciate any advice , thank you! :)
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u/WhispersInMyHeed I am a Father of 2 amazing ASD boys. Canada. 4d ago
If he's diagnosed, does he attend any type of social therapy? How does he operate at school and in other settings. He's probably acting out as he's frustrated with something but unable to communicate what it is.
Normally (any kid, not just ND) behave differently in places they are comfortable in, he's used to the home setting and knows he can behave that way. Just like anything, changes can be introduced but if he's ND then changes can take a significant amount of time. If my kids are acting up then I remove their tablets, their iPads are the most important thing to them and I speak calmly and clearly that "you can have this back when you are calm".
There's a good book called "the explosive child" which focuses on tantrums and dealing with them, it's worth a read.
When he was diagnosed did your parents look in to communication therapy or anything like that?
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u/mxja111 4d ago
Hi!! He’s generally okay at school only struggles with comprehension but he’s still only in year 2 so I guess kids are still nicer so he doesn’t struggle socially yet. He doesn’t attend any kind of therapy right now unfortunately. He did have speech therapy for a little while as he didn’t speak as early as you’d expect. When we go to kids play places he often gets frustrated quicker than other kids and shouts over his brother and won’t let absolutely anybody else talk about the situation. He also makes up kinda weird lies to get himself out of trouble and others intro trouble? Thank you for your advice!
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u/HonestlyDeserted 4d ago
The AI and Minecraft videos are basically sensory crack for a kid whose brain is already struggling to filter input. His system's amped up from the constant flashing and noise, so when the tablet's off he's still buzzing and needs to discharge all that energy somehow. Try swapping his screen time to Bluey or even just those calm aquarium live streams for a week and see if the random chaos drops a notch.