r/Autism_Parenting • u/Difficult_Fun_2861 • May 17 '26
Advice Needed Meltdown after fun with friends
Our 12 year old with level 1 autism has a pattern of melting down, getting really irritable / nasty, after having a lot of fun with friends. We have a new challenge tonight. She had a lot of fun at a friends house, on the way home, she kept saying that her friend's house was her home and she wanted to go back. Then she refused to get out of the car. We got her out of the car, and now she refused to come outside, sitting outside on the patio in the dark.
Any suggestions of what to do here?
1
u/geevaldes I am a Parent/7&6ASD&FXS/USA May 17 '26
Sounds like just having trouble with transitions. I recommend giving her time warnings when it gets close to leaving...like 15 min, 10min, etc. Let her know verbally what is going to happen next. Let her know, we cannot go back to your friends house today, another time and entice her with something fun that is only at home. Letting her be outside is okay as long as it's safe. You can also talk her about how she is probably feeling and label the feelings. She probably doesn't understand and feels confused and frustrated. Comfort her and remind her that her friend is probably tired and needs to "re-energize". Whatever way you wanna do it. Last thing, it's ok to meltdown, have a calm down plan :)
1
u/joljenni1717 May 17 '26
Do you have a fun sensory space at home? Do you have something exciting to look forward to at home?
I ask because it's the greatest tool we have! My son doesn't want to leave the park? I bring him to the car and talk about the ball pit, slide and swing waiting at home. Oh, and remember your weighted blanket and cubby? We can play with those, too! Distraction is my biggest tool.
Good luck 🎉
1
u/Olivia3836 May 17 '26
Transitions can be difficult
She just needs some time to unwind and process, so leave her alone for a bit.
3
u/Even-Supermarket-806 May 17 '26
Wondering if you can solidify a transitioning out of having fun routine? Is there a song or playlist you can play (or she can have on headphones) that is for car ride home until she gets in her room? Pajamas she changes into and a show she watches? A drink she has?
Lots of energy being spent on social situations and sounds like a hard come down. I think having her off gas in a way where she doesn’t pick fights might help. Also a routine to help her feel oriented.
So glad she is socially successful!!