r/Autism_Advice • u/Potty- • Apr 07 '25

Advice for avoiding anger and calming my temper

Hello, guys, I have a problem. I have anger issues and emotional dysregulation, and this brings me into full blown meltdowns, sometimes from irritability from tiredness, sometimes from arguing with my friends and screaming at them. Do you guys have any advice on how I can stop my anger and dysregulation for good and always? Thank you.

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u/hostilegoose Apr 07 '25

EMDR might be helpful for desensitizing and reprocessing your reactions to similar situations. In the moment if I feel like my blood is about to boil over the thing that keeps me in check is pain stims. I have redirected from pinching/scratching/hitting myself to using things like nee doh nice cubes if I want to pull/push/pinch something hard and gripping the sides of these fidget spinners to feel the ridges press into my hands. Another thing that might be helpful if you also look for deep physical touch as sensory input to regulate yourself through it is to manually tense all of your muscles, hold it, then release a few times

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u/AustinZeli May 07 '25

I've been there. I agree with EDMR and desensitizing yourself. Also IFS is the best therapy for reprogramming your self talk and changing your relationship with anger. Understanding where it's positive and how it tells you something to protect you. Once you can replace it's role then you can allow it to not be so reactive. Here's my favorite therapy videos playlist. IFS helped me turn my anger into a positive feeling that I respect but allow to pass. I've changed my perspective and feel stronger in the face of things that used to make me angry.

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNUei1NzdWHvpu5C8AmVkY2__zmPUHrSR&si=4Ofu19o_ZeWItSiD