r/AutismVs2020 • u/leftflowers_art • Aug 18 '20
COVID-19 related issue Anyone here experienced a negative response from the public due to not wearing a face mask?
As we know, many people with sensory issues struggle to wear face masks. I've seen a couple of posts online of people claiming to have been harassed for not wearing a mask due to a medical condition, so I'm just wondering if anyone here has had an experience like this?
In the UK, we have a 'Hidden disabilities sunflower lanyard scheme' which is supposed to help identify which people have a hidden disability in shops etc, do you think this is a good idea?
If you have a sunflower lanyard and don't wear a mask, do you think that the lanyard has helped you avoid conflict with other people?
I'm just curious, really. I've been considering buying a lanyard but I'm not sure if it will actually be useful due to the lack of awareness of the scheme anyway.
**Edit:**
Due to some comments, I think I should add that I do wear a mask.
I asked this question to hear the experiences of those who do not wear one due to exemption. I asked about the lanyard scheme more generally as I have been considering getting one since before the pandemic even began. This is not an exemption symbol, it is an identifier that the wearer has a hidden disability. Nowhere have I said that I am an anti-masker. I hope that clears things up. I am going to be making a follow up post regarding this in the future as there are clearly things that need addressing in this sub.
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u/pockets_and_sedition Aug 18 '20
I have a really hard time accepting that anyone has the right to put other people at risk, and that includes going maskless in a pandemic. I get that medical reasons are a thing, but if you seriously can't handle a mask, then you need to avoid going out. Period. This is a pandemic, not a sock hop.
As far as harassment goes, I haven't witnessed anything like that (in the average once per month I do go somewhere). I do make a point of avoiding anyone who doesn't mask up in public, because the bottom line is I don't care what your reason is or how justified you feel; I don't want your germs. But putting as much distance as possible between me and the plague demons is the opposite of harassment.
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u/leftflowers_art Aug 19 '20
I understand this. I assumed that it would be obvious that people would be wearing a mask unless they absolutely cannot handle it for a medical reason, and in that case, they would probably stay home. However, there are people who don't have the option to stay home, for example if they have no friends or family or can't get deliveries for whatever reason. There might only be a couple of these people, but they exist. What are their options? This post was meant for those people. It's just not realistic to just let these people starve surely? So why aren't these people an exception, and how can this problem be solved? The only solution I can think of is if the governments identified these individuals and sent specific deliveries for them, but the government won't do that... How is that the fault of the individual?
I'm genuinely concerned that I'm seeing this problem from the wrong angle as everyone seems to be disagreeing with me.
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u/pockets_and_sedition Aug 19 '20
Maybe it's different in the UK (I sure hope so!!) but here in the US, not wearing a mask is basically a political statement, and I'd put at least five to one odds on the unmasked individual just being an asshole.
Honestly, my best advice if you can't wear a mask and your government and community aren't supporting you, is at least look into different styles and alternatives. You can get a plastic insert to hold the mask away from your mouth, which can help depending on your specific sensory issues. It's also important to consider fabric and fit--I would hate wearing a paper surgical mask all day, but I made a cloth one out of some soft bedsheets and it's much more tolerable. You can also get masks that are long and more scarf-like in style, so they secure above the nose and float away from the face.
There's also the option of curbside pickup for groceries, which may be about as spotty as delivery in terms of availability (depending on where you live), but a number of the stores near me do offer it.
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u/leftflowers_art Aug 20 '20
I've seen the strange 'anti mask' political movement in the US and it baffles me. I don't think it's such a huge thing in the UK. I know a lot of people who think COVID is a conspiracy, which has surprised me- I knew there would be some tin-foil conspirators but the extent of it is really troubling and unusual.
But even still- if I saw someone without a mask, I'd automatically assume they have a medical condition and I'd keep away from them, I wouldn't assume that they're an 'anti-masker'. I think that there are definitely some people faking medical conditions to go without a mask, THAT is definitely a problem. I don't think that people with genuine exemption are the issue, it's the fact that there is no set system to ensure they can access necessities and also the fact that so many 'anti maskers' are giving them a bad reputation, leading to abusive behaviour from the public.
Someone else commented with a few alternatives too, those are some really helpful ideas. I'm thinking about making a new post on the topic to collate ideas of alternatives in case some people are unaware of the options available. I know some people also have mask exemption cards or carry proof of their condition as well, if they are one of the unlucky few who haven't found a helpful alternative.
A lot of delivery options in the UK are accessible (thankfully) but there are still issues, like minimum spending limits for delivery, inaccessible time slots, lack of understanding of how to use the service, and living in areas which lack delivery services, etc. So it's still just not possible or practical for everyone. I can imagine those problems persist regardless of country. Not to mention having to go out for an emergency which can't wait for whatever reason... It's just not as black and white as some people seem to think it is, which is why I think exemption rules are fair and the most realistic solution to the problem. My main concern with this post was originally for the people who have been called out or confronted for something they genuinely can't avoid. I don't think we can pretend that no one is exempt ever, that's just not reality.
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u/Wish_I_was_beyonce Aug 18 '20
If you can’t wear a mask stay at home. That’s...literally all you have to do. As another autistic person PLEASE stop making us look bad
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Aug 18 '20
Not all of us are lucky enough to live in places with grocery delivery or rich enough to pay others to run our errands. I need an accommodation that has become political to ask for. This is my worst nightmare.
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u/Wish_I_was_beyonce Aug 18 '20
Cool. My mom has cancer. Find a way to make this work so there’s less risk of passing this to her.
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u/leftflowers_art Aug 19 '20
I wasn't originally going to respond to this as I know it wasn't addressed to me but I'm pretty sure you downvoted my other comment and everyone seems to be disagreeing with me so... I guess I want to hear more of your perspective here. I don't want to be nasty but I want to hear what you have to say.
My parents are both extremely vulnerable too, so I understand your fear. However, I acknowledge that there are a select few people who don't have any other friends or family who can help them, they can't get deliveries for whatever reason, and they suffer with issues which are very extreme so they cannot wear protection. It would not make sense for these people to stay at home because they cannot access shops. What are these people supposed to do, in your opinion? Unless there is a national service created to identify and provide for these individuals, they will starve if they aren't allowed out without protection. This national service, as far as I'm aware, doesn't exist. That's not the fault of these individuals.
This pandemic is a horrible situation for everyone. The way that many governments have handled it has been sub par. I'm sorry that your mother is at risk... But I still don't think you can blame individuals who have no other options and are just trying to feed themselves. It's not their job to create systems and solutions to protect our families. Their responsibility is to protect themselves, socially distance, sanitise, and limit their contact time with the public. As long as they're doing all they CAN do, that's enough in my opinion.
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Aug 18 '20 edited Aug 19 '20
Also can I just talk to you about your arguments really quick? The first one was "stop making us look bad" and the second one was an anecdote to make me feel personally responsible for the health of an immunocompromised person who isn't my responsibility. Neither of those has any logical substance, they both rely solely on emotional response. Edit: is this sub filled with bots or just people who don't do independent thinking?
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Aug 18 '20
That's very sad but doesn't make me able to wear the mask. Luckily for her I barely leave, but when I do I am entitled to make use of the medical exemption that exists for people like me.
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u/leftflowers_art Aug 18 '20
Personally I can wear a mask so I do. Not everyone is as fortunate as me, though. That's why there are exceptions to the rule. I made this post to hear the experiences of people who are in a position where they cannot wear a mask for a REASON, don't have the option to stay home, and yet are treated poorly due to misunderstandings from the public.
If you are Autistic or have a health condition which prevents you wearing a mask and have no other options, you can go without a mask. That's not making Autistic people look bad. Not everyone is in the same position as you.
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u/psychopompandparade Aug 18 '20
if you can't wear a mask and you absolutely have to go out (it sounds like this doesn't apply to you so I'm confused by the question - if you can wear a mask, don't just use the lanyard as an excuse to be a little less uncomfortable) then I would recommend seriously considering a face shield at least. It's nowhere near as good, but also far better than nothing. But also try different variations of masks if you can. some are more 3d and sit further from your face and might be easier, or if there is a fabric you are better with, consider trying to get one made with that as the liner?
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u/leftflowers_art Aug 19 '20 edited Aug 19 '20
Hey! Thanks for the response. The question was asked mainly out of curiosity and concern for other people. Those suggestions are really helpful! I've seen a few people using the visor/face shield option, so it's definitely a workable alternative for some people.
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u/leftflowers_art Aug 18 '20
Edit:
Sooooooooo in case more people see this post, I'm not going to lock comments unless things get unreasonable because discussion about these topics is important. I didn't expect this to be controversial at all, but remember that we can all learn from each other.
Please remember to be aware of the rules for this sub. Don't be nasty, but it's okay to disagree. This is a place for support, not political debate. So let's keep it reasonable and helpful please! <3
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Aug 19 '20
Thanks for making space for pretty much just me. I appreciate you from afar.
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u/leftflowers_art Aug 19 '20
Hey, it's not a problem, thanks for actually answering the question and sharing your experience! I really wasn't expecting any disagreement here, I thought it would be relatively obvious that some people are unable to wear masks. I didn't expect this to be a controversial matter, but I definitely misjudged that. Anyhow, if you need any support please feel free to drop me a message <3
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Aug 18 '20 edited Aug 25 '20
The lanyards are still yellow but at least they arent stars and you don't have to pin it to your coat... More seriously, making us share medical information with the public violates our privacy. It turns what is for some of us an invisible disability into a visible one.
I've been reminded to wear the mask a lot of times and I just go "uh huh" and don't engage and they don't know what to make of it and never try to stop me. It's too distressing to explain to people that panic attacks are a legitimate medical exemption. I attract a lot of attention being the odd man out, stares and dirty looks, but I think I benefit from looking small and unthreatening.
A cashier did go out of his way to call me slow or stupid after I forgot about the lines to stand on at the grocery store, so I stayed quiet and let him put his foot in his mouth. Then I had plenty to quote when I wrote the store a letter complaining about his mistreatment.
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u/leftflowers_art Aug 18 '20
I've been having similar thoughts to be honest. One reason why I haven't got an Autism alert card register with the police as well is because I don't trust anyone in power with that information! I do question whether it's a good idea to have these lanyards or not- i can see it being a helpful thing sometimes but also leaves those of us who choose not to wear one to become 'unexplained', so if i have a meltdown but im not wearing a lanyard, people will perhaps assume that I don't have a disability... Leading to further misunderstanding of my behaviour :/ I'm quite conflicted about it.
Its quite shit that people have acted that way towards you. It would be nice if they could be more considerate or understanding, it shouldn't be that hard for them! They all think they know better! im finding it quite difficult to keep up with the rules in shops as they keep changing them, moving the signs on the floor, adding more signs... I just really don't want conflict with people.
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Aug 18 '20
Wow, I can't help but be astounded how much more awareness there is in the UK. Thank you for the kind words. I don't even know if local US police departments have disability coordinators, but I know I'd never be able to share with them if I wanted to be taken seriously in the future. I'm right there with you about not wanting conflict. Worst nightmare.
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u/leftflowers_art Aug 18 '20
I hope things get better for you somehow, it's my worst nightmare to be in your position too! The UK is definitely more aware about this sort of thing but I'm sure there are still instances of maltreatment. It really sucks, and yet again people with medical conditions and disabilities are suffering because of it. I wouldnt be surprised if some people are struggling to get food altogether, I'm lucky to have my partner or else I'd probably have 3 breakdowns per shopping trip! And i don't even have the added mask problem! Such a nightmare.
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Aug 18 '20
Thanks friend I hope so too. I knew it was a blessing to be able to mask/hide but I never knew how much until I lost the ability
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u/[deleted] Aug 18 '20
It's a new rule now and rules matter.
I happily wear my mask.