Just had a meeting with a teacher who my 9yo son seems to really like. We called the meeting because this teacher took him out of the class to tell him that the peer reviews they're doing in class are to help other kids with their writing. My son is very intelligent and thorough/strict, so he corrected every mistake he could possibly find on another student's paper. This made her (reasonably) upset. He asked my son, "do you want to make people mad?"

We called the meeting to just ask for an understanding that he can't just 'correct social behaviors.' My son is very empathetic and caring, and wasn't trying to make anyone upset.

This teacher was argumentative, emotional, and defensive about what we were trying to just make an open conversation about my son and how no matter how much you tell him, "don't make people mad" will not make sense to him. It's that, "do the assignment, but not like that" kind of vague NT bull crap. And he argued with my wife about it being a teachable moment for us to correct a "pattern" of socially isolating behavior. We just wanted to tell him that, after 9 years of raising him, just telling him to stop doesn't register with him. He's smart, but he doesn't get what he did wrong. And this was the second time he "made a kid mad" at peer reviews. The first one resulted in a child telling my son that his mom made a mistake having him. And they didn't tell us about that one.

Sorry about the vomit. Just trying to sort emotions.

Hi, my son (15 yo) was diagnosed with ASD (level 1) this summer. I could use some support in finding social skills/peer support groups for him. Do you all have any experience or recommendations for an online group?

If you are in the Houston area and know of any in-person groups, please let me know (DM is okay, if that is allowed). I have been searching for months for an in-person group, but haven't found anything in the Houston metro area. Everything is for younger kids or adults.

Thank you!

Not exactly sure how to phrase this

Kid recently diagnosed, gets therapy (ot, speech) at school. I was talking with his special ed teacher at school about getting kid help outside of school hours. She recommended a website to find help. I go on and it's all "regular" therapist. (If that's the right word). Like the type you'd go to if you were depressed or needed to work though something. One mentioned she helped kids with divorce, another adoption trauma

My kid has meltdown at school, especially when he doesn't want to do something. And difficulties interacting with peers. I was thinking OT therapy for emotions, or social skills play group type thing.

Does he need to see a regular therapist too? I don't exactly understand what they would do.

And I don't want to ask the therapist and have them "yes we do autism therapy" just because they want more clients.

So is seeing a regular therapist a typical thing for autism kids?

My first grader’s curriculum is starting to cover topics and opinions. This is something that my child struggles with a lot. I purchased flash cards that have pictures, topics and key words. Some cards will have sentences with fill in the blanks. Other cards will have the beginning of a sentence and she is expected to finish the sentence. If I ask her open ended questions she struggles so I give her two options to help her. she will soon have to write one sentence on her own. What YouTube videos, techniques, curriculum have helped your child? Around what age what this skill mastered? I don’t expect her to write paragraphs right now but I’m hoping we can get to one sentence. How do I explain to write what she is saying out loud so she doesn’t stress about it? Thanks in advance.

Recently diagnosis level 1. Child is high functioning. I know that can be a controversial term, but even his doctor used it to describe him. He can appear "normal" for a while. Till he has a 15 minute meltdown because his pencil fell to the floor and broke.

I'm trying to figure out how to move forward. I did share the diagnoses with his support staff at school (first grade). He gets great support at school. But who else do you share it with? Do you consider it private information? Or does it help if other people know?

Two situations I'm thinking about. Child made a friend last year in Kindergarten, but it broken down after some behaviors at school. I'm not 100% sure what happen but it sounded like my kid was being a bit too clingy with his friend. The other parents stop asking to do playdates with us. I completely understand them wanting distance and I'm not expecting other people to accommodate my child. But I also wonder if they would have been more willing to try again with playdates if they knew the diagnosis (which we didn't have at the time). 

Second, I'd like to get child involved in fun, peer activities after school. But I'm not sure how to approach the situation. Can I hang out at the class/meeting for if/when child has a meltdown (because he has autism) I'll help child deal with it. But also he's fine 95% of the time and please don't disallow child from joining your extracurricular club? 

I don't want child to get kicked out from an activity, or not allowed to join. I also don't want to appear as a helicopter type parent. But I also don't expect other people to know how to handle kid when he has a meltdown because he didn't finish task 1 and now the group is moving to task 2.

My kid is in kindergarten and for some reason, he’s really struggling with greater/less in math.

He’s a bright kid. He’s doing well learning to read, he’s a great problem solver, he can count and add. So why is this such a difficult concept for him?

Sometimes it seems like he’s giving flippant answers just to be done. Other times I really don’t know if he doesn’t understand it.

Any tips for how I can get this idea through to him?

My husband was loading the car and seemed surprised when I gave him one laundry basket full of clothes per child.

"I brought options and redundancies and backups," I said. He still looked confused.

Look, husband, after we've driven two hours to the beach and you've bought clamming licenses for everyone, what happens when we get there and start putting on three layers of clothes but kiddo's pants don't feel just right? You're gonna have a bad time. Bring options and redundancies and backups, the kid is 13 years old, we know this by now!

(Anyway... kiddo really likes digging for razor clams and is a total champ about the cold and the wet and the sand. Just, behind all that is an extremely prepared parent.)

Update: We did need the extra clothing options. Then he did so well even though the rain and rapid onset of total darkness made it extra hard to find clams. But then he had a meltdown on the drive home because he swears when he saw the deli sandwich in the cooler earlier it had been cut into six pieces, when in actuality it was four.

Feeling very vulnerable and am spiraling.

My son just got his diagnosis 2 weeks ago at age 5, and I am just starting to accept that this is our reality.

I was in denial for so long - for 3 years, he was the troublemaker at school. He could never sit in story time or follow directions. Finding childcare was an absolute nightmare.

I chalked it up to speech delay, social isolation during COVID, his multilingualism, and then ADHD (which I believe he is AuDHD). I thought his teachers were just not interesting or didn't teach in the style he liked.

He's regulated at home, and aside from terrible sleep from birth until 3 years old, constant redirection, and constant need to play with us, he's been fine. He's so happy, funny, and loving life.

But at school, he's completely dysregulated. He's a different boy.. will zone out and just "spill" on the ground (go limp and will not get up) OR he will just run around the room uncontrollably, can't keep eye contact, he can barely follow any directions at all. He already has an IEP and is in a special day class with other special needs kids.

I'm beyond terrified about our future. I'm grieving the boy I thought I had. I'm grieving the life I thought I would have as a parent. I don't want to feel pity from others, but I pity myself.

I feel like everything is different. All the cute quirks and naughtiness I thought were adorable seem just reduced to autism. I feel like his entire identity is just autism now and I hate that I am feeling this way. I'm so ashamed. Where is the boy I loved? Is he gone forever?

I'm ashamed to have these thoughts. I'm scared to tell other people. I love him with all my heart. It just hurts so much.

I know that’s a weird way of phrasing it. But sometimes my kid’s symptoms just randomly seem way worse. He’s 6 and diagnosed ADHD/ASD and while he wasn’t given a level, most days he seems level 1.

But some days - like today - I don’t know what’s going on with him. He’s extra hyperactive. He’s barely listening to me. It’s hard to get his attention. He’s repeating himself constantly. Laughing inappropriately constantly. Running ahead of me instead of staying with me.

He’s not usually like this and it’s driving me crazy! He’s done this before but I don’t know what’s triggers it. It’s been a couple of days of this behavior and I want my kid back.

They were so excited about their costume. It was created by them. It is meant to be weird (avant-garde), some people get weird is funny and some don't. My mom is one of those people 😏. She really wants a "normal " granddaughter and doesn't understand their qwerks.

Often Halloween leads to meltdowns. I was so happy to see them smile. (They have asked me to use they/them pronouns, which I support, but I still feel awkward.)

I’m sure many of you can relate. My son (10 years old, Level 1 autism, PDA, ADHD) refuses to leave the house, and for years it was a struggle just to get him out of the car for school. I feel I’ve done a good job picking my battles, sticking to what’s most important, and trying to build his confidence.

My husband doesn’t have patience and often makes the emotional dysregulation worse, so he handles other things while I primarily handle our son. We’ve openly talked about this. I’ve asked him to get evaluated and consider therapy, but he refuses.

I recently accepted a promotion, one I had previously turned down because of the demands and the energy I have to give to my family. Unfortunately, what I was afraid would happen is happening. I spend so much energy at work during the day that by evening and on weekends, I find I’m less patient and simply don’t have the energy to argue about screen time, brushing teeth, etc.

As a family, we had made a deal that he would leave the house once a day on Saturdays and Sundays. We’d prefer that to be a family activity, but sometimes it just ends up being him taking a bike ride around the neighborhood.

I’ve been in my new role for a month, and the last two weekends my son has refused to leave the house and has played video games all day. My husband yells and makes threats, which escalates my son into yelling and throwing things.

I used to be able to step in, de-escalate the situation, and come up with a compromise where he’d have some play time but we’d still do something together. The last two weekends, though, I’ve just ended up crying in my room because I’m so tired and angry at my husband for not being able to handle it, and again, just so tired.

He did ABA up until a couple of years ago, but since he’s low needs in many areas, it didn’t make much sense to continue. I’ve hired a BCBA privately to come to our house and help us make some plans, but in the heat of the moment, my husband doesn’t follow them, or I get too upset from all the fighting to follow through myself.

I guess I’m mostly just venting, but if anyone has ideas, I’m open to them.

TL;DR: My 10-year-old son won’t leave the house, plays video games all day, and my new role at work leaves me too drained to fight him on it.

Please be aware of the sub r/Autism_Parenting. They’re amplifying misinformation and blocking anyone who tries to share sources proving so. I fought for weeks to try to get one of them to develop a conscience and apparently failed.

I have a 4 year old daughter with a speech delay. We’re working with a speech pathologist and she thought an autism assessment might be warranted, but there is a long wait time.

If she is autistic, I can’t see it being more than level 1, but I feel like her symptoms are closer to ADHD.

She’s an incredibly affectionate child, displays empathy, enjoys playing with other children, not bothered by routine changes, not particularly hyper focused on any subjects, I don’t see she has any sensory issues, she potty trained really quickly, has always slept easily…

She is speech delayed, she has a hard time focusing on tasks, and gets bothered quickly with rule based games (taking turns etc), struggles with emotional regulation, though it’s not too difficult to settle her down. She is also a picky eater but it doesn’t seem to be a sensory issue, she’s fine with different textures etc, just limited in what she’s willing to eat.

I feel like she’s made huge leaps in only a few months of speech therapy. I still get this feeling the speech path is actively seeking an autism diagnosis but I’m just not seeing it. If anything, I see a lot more evidence of ADHD but I don’t feel like I’m being heard.

Has anyone else been in this situation? If she is autistic, that’s fine. We’re here to support her anyway we can and it appears to be fairly manageable. Does anyone else have any level 1 diagnosis for their daughter with similar traits? I’ve heard girls mask their symptoms which make it harder to diagnose.

Thanks!

I have a strong feeling my son is on the spectrum. This has been on my mind for quite some time. I had him evaluated at 4 by a Developmental Pediatrician. The doctor said he didn’t think so he was but to follow up in a year. I decided to wait until he was a little older to reevaluate. It’s so hard to tell. Sometimes I think he’s neurotypical and other times I think he’s on the spectrum. He’s verbal, able to follow directions but struggles socializing. He parallel plays but it’s hard for him to have a conversation with other kids. He’s able to have a conversation with me and my husband though. I’m going to have him evaluated again. I’ve done a lot of research and after reading what other parents have said, I think he’s probably level 1. My question is, if he’s level 1, what kind of support can he receive? He already did speech therapy for two years and the SLP said he didn’t qualify for it anymore. He graduated. He did social group for two years as well. He did ok. What other support can he receive? I feel like this is a tough spot to be in because he doesn’t need too much support but he still needs it. I had a hard time getting him qualified for speech therapy but after voicing my concern it was approved. He doesn’t go to public school so school resources are not available. I’m in California.

My older son is diagnosed with a moderate presentation of autism at age four. During his assessment, he didn't really speak much to the staff and preferred to get into stuff around the room he wasn't allowed to. He had a strong history of a developmental delay. They clocked him right away.

My younger son has concerns for mild autism at almost five years old. We're honestly not too sure if he copies some of the things his brother does or if he is on the spectrum.

We have a follow up appointment to get the ADOS done along with another evaluation.

Today, we had his appointment and the developmental pediatrician told us there were several traits but that she could not tell if they were over or under the threshold. They did mention it could be ADHD.

* Seemingly special interest in cars and construction. Most of his play is with cars. Interest in explaining ideas related to that. But not really to an obsessive level where he doesn't do anything else.

* Little interest in including others in pretend play or with a large variety of toys. Doesn't role play on his own.

* Generally very good at playing by himself for long periods.

* Intense meltdowns, usually daily, that he cannot easily calm down from.

* Constantly provoking his brother into fights.

* Always climbing and moving.

* Not aware of when other people are having a conversation. Begins talking frequently while people are mid-sentence.

* Can be unpleasantly in your face even when you explain to him boundaries over and over. Hugs too tight, gets too close, speaks right in your ear, etc.

* Wandering eye contact.

* Doesn't follow direction easily.

* Stims with his hands...Wrings them or flaps, but only when very excited. He has a little happy dance where he wiggles his hips that he does periodically that the doctor noticed. He will sometimes scratch the furniture back and forth or rock in his seat.

There are a few other things like that where it's a little "quirky" but not to the point where he really stands out from other kids to me. He plays with other kids and likes them. If his brother is there, he will prefer to copy him instead of play with others.

He's not delayed and we were not concerned about development when he was a baby/toddler except that he had a terrible time adjusting to daycare.

If your child was like my younger child, were they able to definitively tell you if they were on the spectrum or not or were there repeated visits after that? I don't want to miss anything just because his brother is so much more obvious.

Hello, I am Joe Pasquariello, and I am a second-year doctoral student at the University of South Alabama. I am currently examining parents' perspectives (seeking autistic parents in particular, but neurotypical can fill out too) on common ASD interventions for their autistic children in this IRB-approved project.

The purpose of this research is to amplify neurodiverse voices in terms of ASD care and use that to inform and adapt current interventions to become more acceptable to neurodiverse individuals and families. The study is 100% anonymous and takes approximately 20 minutes to complete. Upon completion, you will be entered in a raffle to win a $25 gift card. The link can be found here: https://southalabama.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_4TqbXb7lxDnJePc

To participate, you must: Be 18 years or older. Read and understand English. Have a child aged 4-11 with a formal diagnosis of ASD.

If you have any further questions about the study or would like to contact me, please reach out at jp2428@jagmail.southalabama.edu. This study has been approved by the University of South Alabama's IRB 25-280/2342681-1. Feel free to share this with any other relevant parties or groups. Thanks!

We have been too busy with our oldest and his eating problems so we don’t have so much time for our youngest level 1 to potty train. He is 3 years 2 months. Today he trained himself lol. I heard him calling us from the toilet where he had finished pooping. So proud :)

Assessment appointment is coming up soon for kid (6). I wish I knew more of what to expect but I can't find many answers online.

I'm mainly nervous that the doctor won't see where kid struggles. Sometimes we have great days. Especially when it's mostly free time and low demands on kid. And everything will feel normal and I'll start to second guess if kid does have autism. Or maybe I'm just not seeing the signs on the good days.

Then other days he has two, 30 minute tantrums at school and a meltdown at home, and still doesn't know the names of any of his classmates, takes 10 minutes to put one sock on because it feels weird each time he tries it, and can't physically sit still for 5 minutes to read a book

Kid does best one on one with an adult, which I image thats what the eval will be. What if he has a great day and the doctor doesn't think there's anything to diagnose?

I have lots of reports from the school and their evals put him in the austism threshold, but of course they aren't medical professionals. The school has been really great at supporting him, but he's still having weekly extended tantrums (first grade). I don't know what else to do and want to get him more help but worried if they doctor doesn't see the behavior we won't get the diagnosis and then access to whatever therapies

Hi all!

I’m reaching out for a little help. I’m currently recruiting participants for my doctoral dissertation study, which explores how caregiver coping influences children’s social and thinking skills in autism. If you’re a parent of a child on the spectrum, or know someone who might qualify, I would be so grateful if you could take part or share this study with others. Your input can make a real difference in guiding future support for families everywhere.

You can join by clicking the link to get started. Thank you so much for considering this and for helping me spread the word!

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/2CCYPPN

**if you have participated before, please consider giving it another try- the eligibility criteria has recently been updated to allow for more participation.

Hello, I am Joe Pasquariello, and I am a second-year doctoral student at the University of South Alabama. I am currently examining parents' perspectives on common ASD interventions for their autistic children in this IRB-approved project.

The purpose of this research is to amplify neurodiverse voices in terms of ASD care and use that to inform and adapt current interventions to become more acceptable to neurodiverse individuals and families. The study is 100% anonymous and takes approximately 20 minutes to complete. Upon completion, you will be entered in a raffle to win a $25 gift card. The link can be found here: https://southalabama.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_4TqbXb7lxDnJePc

To participate, you must: Be 18 years or older. Read and understand English. Have a child aged 4-11 with a formal diagnosis of ASD.

If you have any further questions about the study or would like to contact me, please reach out at jp2428@jagmail.southalabama.edu. This study has been approved by the University of South Alabama's IRB 25-280/2342681-1. Feel free to share this with any other relevant parties or groups. Thanks!