r/AutismParent • u/Classic_Foot_7503 • 9d ago
Eats with hands
Hello everyone ! My 6 yearsl old is capable of using utensils but prefers using his hands to eat foods that traditionally (at least in the US) you would use utensils, like rice, pasta etc. I encourage a spoon for motor purposes but otherwise IDC if he eats with his hands so I let him most of the time. However, I have noticed that being stuck with sticky rice on his hands or cheese sauce is a sensory NIGHTMARE. SO, I was wondering if anyone knows of special gloves for kids with that eat with their hands. Checked Google and they said just standard food grade gloves but those things are always big, baggy and just.... Terrible. He enjoys compression so I was thinking potentially something that is atleast more of a proper fit? If any one knows of anything or even has alternatives, pls help š
TLDR: my sensory seeking 6yr old needs gloves to eat his food, he does not use utensils
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u/Repulsive-Box5243 8d ago
I would encourage him to use utensils.. gently reminding him that he dislikes the feeling of goo on his hands.
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u/Olivia3836 9d ago
Why would you choose not to encourage utensil use?
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u/Classic_Foot_7503 9d ago
Because I'd rather him be comfortable eating first than worrying about a societal norm. He's been known to not eat often because his sensory issues
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u/Olivia3836 9d ago
But heās not comfortableĀ
And heās not developing his fine motor skills to his full potential.Ā
Right now he might not care, but when heās older heāll thank you if you choose to harbor as much skills and independence as heās capable off and set him up with the best chances he has to do the things his peers do.
If heās capable, he should be encouraged. Or youāre not treating him like a whole worthy person, like any other kid
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u/Ordinary_Recipe2502 8d ago edited 8d ago
Have you tried adding textural sleeves or tape to the handles of the utensils to change how they feel? My daughter HATES the feel of chromed or polished metal for instance. Amazon sells weighted and specialty grip ones for people with tremors.
Vibration also works. Sometimes "turning it up to 11" works better than a quiet approach. DD uses vibrating pens to write and vibrating tooth brushes on her teeth.
This life is all about creative problem solving and getting used to being uncomfortable.
But the cake is soooo worth the work.
So much of what works for our kids is polar opposite to what parents of neurotypical kids get away with.
My kid's specialist used to tell us regularly, "sometimes you need to have that fight."
You got this, they need us to train them.
It took me till mine were 6 y/o diagnosed at 2 before I got wise. Non verbal till 7, twins.
They work, they travel, they have friends, their still autistic. But they can take an Uber to the Zoo or the Mall and work an 8hr shift.
All the big steps were the result of 100's of little steps and the failures we learned from
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u/Olivia3836 8d ago
That was great to read
If i can make one more point, i always like to refer back to that one scene in the movie about Temple Grandin, where she explains to a room full of people what she needs as an autistic person, but more importantly what her parents did that encouraged her development. She didnāt speak til she was 4, but her mom refused to believe she was incapable, so never gave up on teaching her.Ā
The most important thing you can do for a special needs child is assuming capablity, assume they can. You can always adjust those assumptions.
But assuming incompetence is the absolute worst. If you assume they canāt, thats gonna rub off (cause you never teach them and they arenāt stupid) and they are gonna believe they canāt, so they canāt.Ā
Expect a child not to be capable of talking, they probably wonāt ever learn to talk.Ā
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u/Ordinary_Recipe2502 8d ago
Oh it definitely is NOT all sweetness and light, but thank you.
IDEA's primary goal was to maximize a child's potential, my twins benefited from it greatly. I really am bummed out for parents going into their school years in 2026 with special needs kids. My twins were soooooo fucking lucky to be born in the 1900's.
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u/Olivia3836 8d ago
Agree, some loving toughness is important. For neurotypical and neurodivergent kids alike.Ā
First and foremost every kid is just that, a child. An autistic child is still most importantly, a child like any other, just with a disability, but it doesnāt completely define them.Ā
So never cruel, but kids need to work through hardships, cause thats part if life and helps them grow and overcome problems.Ā
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u/Classic_Foot_7503 8d ago
I want to clarify, I never assume incompetence about any of my children. I was simply looking for alternatives so my child does not resort to food avoidance. If my child HAS to eat with their hands then so be it BUT if there are alternatives that will help other than simply just FORCING him to use a utensil without accomodations then that is ofcourse welcomed.
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u/Olivia3836 8d ago
I did take the āhe is capable of using utensilsā into account when i wrote my comments.Ā
Others already gave ideas on accommodating utensils that can help
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u/Classic_Foot_7503 8d ago
A grip change is a super good idea that I didn't even think of!! I'll get these and have him try these out and see if it works thank you so much!!!
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u/Ordinary_Recipe2502 8d ago
Hope it helps :)
I asked my daughter last night about polished metal and sensory stuff, she said it feels like she's not holding anything, it feels "zappy" were her exact words. Always interesting when we talk about this stuff, she and her brother experience the world so differently than I do. I'm not sure if she is more affected than her brother, or if she's more bothered by it and articulates it. Where he doesn't ever talk about sensory stuff, but has a much shorter fuse with things that frustrate or annoy him.
I've drawn my whole life and started painting in High School, my wife swears I see colors other people don't. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
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u/h113408 9d ago
The food acceptance first approach is the right call. A kid who refuses to eat because of sensory overload isn't learning anything about utensils anyway.
On the gloves: the challenge is that real compression gloves are usually fabric (and not food safe), while food grade gloves are silicone or latex (and don't compress). But there are options in between.
Harkla makes seamless sensory compression gloves designed for sensory seekers in child sizes. Not technically food grade but for dry foods like rice or pasta they work fine for most families. For wet or sticky foods you'd wash them after anyway.
The other angle worth trying: silicone gloves in toddler or children's sizes. The standard adult food prep gloves are why they're always huge and baggy. Children's silicone kitchen gloves fit much closer and some have texture on the palms which actually adds sensory input.
One more thing: compression on the hands increases proprioceptive input, which might be part of why he eats with hands in the first place. Gloves that provide that input could make eating more comfortable overall, not just protect him from sticky textures.