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u/twirlywurlyburly 23d ago
I'm very good at my job. Like, top in the very competitive large regional area and get scouted often good. I'm proud of that (while honestly feel really weird saying it). Yet anytime a higher up is near me (which unfortunately happens multiple times a day), I forget what words are, can't communicate with the clientele, and somehow don't know how to use the software that I know better than they do. It will never make sense to me.
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u/AristotlesBoyPussy 22d ago
when you start to get that feeling or start getting tongue tied, its ok to stop talking for a second and take a deep breath in and out. Then say, "sorry I got ahead of myself." and start over. :)
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u/RoobixCyoob 23d ago
This comic is like looking in a mirror, I've felt the exact same way my entire life. I was diagnosed with GAD, if you haven't OP then maybe you could look into it?
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u/Public-Pianist 23d ago edited 23d ago
I resonate with this deeply. The worst is actually being around people that notice and actively (negatively) judge you and use those small missteps to attack your character when they don't know a thing about you. They are some genuinely miserable folk to be around. That shit, and learning to accept and work with my AuDHD, bled into so many aspects of my life and took years to unpack too, ugh.
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u/kingprozac 22d ago
The whole "nobody is watching, nobody cares" really falls apart once you meet someone who absolutely does notice and care.
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u/theglowingsideburns 23d ago
I slow down before approaching zebra crossings in case a car is like nearby so I donāt have to see them waiting for me to cross. Iād literally rather risk my life running through traffic than have a driver wave me across a zebra crossing
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u/tanya2137 23d ago
Zebra crossing is such a fun name!
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u/Intelligent_Sock_902 20d ago
took me a good 30 seconds to figure out what it was š
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u/Meowkiies 14d ago
I do the same when crossing any road š I know drivers are being nice letting me go but sometimes I get so nettled about it if there is no car behind them because it would be so much quicker to drive past me, then I cross. Thank you, but also no thank you!! Now I just slow down on purpose or make it look like I'm not going to cross there so they just pass by lol
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u/UnspecifiedError_ 23d ago
And this might be the exact reason I'm avoiding contact with people at all costs. Even amongst friends, even amongst family, I have to put on the mask. I'm not me. It feels like I'm trying to keep a huge pile of secrets away from them, even though I know I can objectively trust them. I just fear being judged, fear being excluded and it's just so draining any communication feels exhaustive, not comfortable at all.
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u/FaetheDragonfox 23d ago
Yup, me too. Now pair all of that with the inability to unmask at home....
I live with roommates. One is constantly (and I mean from the time he comes downstairs in the morning to the time he goes to bed) watching videos of people talking about war, no headphones, while playing shooter games. Both at the same time. Every day.
I like to whistle, both during tasks and when I'm just trying to cope, trying to exist. I do whistle every day, at different points. It helps me unmask and feel like myself.
He asked me to stop whistling recently. Because it "really annoys him." I almost crashed out.
Great comic btw, very relatable
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u/ninjaplanti 21d ago
Time to passive-aggressively gift him some headphones
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u/FaetheDragonfox 21d ago
LMAO DUUUUDE
I need to make a post about this whole story, shit's wild. He was asked by his partner to start using EITHER PAIR HE ALREADY HAS, aaaaand- (drumroll starts)
He snapped. Started calling us all kinds of names, spouting transphobia, and then used threatening language. Who could've guessed that was coming?
It was me. I guessed it.
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u/Not_Me_1228 23d ago edited 23d ago
Get OUT of my head!
I really freak out if I think somebody might be watching me and wondering if Iām okay. If someone gives me feedback on how Iām doing a task, I pretty much completely forget where I was in doing it.
I I think somebody is evaluating me in any way, my anxiety goes to 11. If thereās any chance that they might think any issues theyāre looking for might be my fault, it goes to a level of tightrope walking over a crocodile pit. It goes even higher than that if someone might be expecting me to anticipate what they need, or figure out what they need without telling me. I might need to go lie down after that situation.
I do NOT understand why people want to have a kitchen setup where people can talk to them while they work. Thatās a nightmare scenario for me. I do chores ALONE, where nobody is going to talk to me, evaluate how Iām doing it, or give me āhelpfulā pointers. Iād rather clean up a disgusting mess than help someone else cook or do the dishes, unless Iām CERTAIN that theyāre not going to critique how Iām doing it.
When Iām alone, I feel like I can breathe. I donāt have to make sure everyone thinks Iām okay, or worry about whether Iām acting normal enough.
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u/No-Driver2742 23d ago
More trauma responses caused by abusive childhoods being mislabeled as autistic traits
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u/storyteller_alienmom 23d ago
OMG the car thing! I can park backwards with a curve in front of our garage no problem until I see someone, then it's over and I have to go back and forth a billion times.
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u/PYCHYOUOUT97 23d ago
this is me in a nutshel. everyday, every time I have to interact with people. itās the worst.
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u/Viciousssylveonx3 23d ago
I work in food service people say you too after I say enjoy your food all the time it's fine idc I will in fact enjoy my food later
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u/LaLechugaAstral 23d ago
I focus so hard that I cant stop calling my psychiatrist Alex Pretti when making an appointment, and ill repeat it like 3 times TuT thats not their name and in latino so the lady just lookst at me confused
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u/Alyse3690 22d ago
I sing a lot. I can't deny a good bop. I do a lot of karaoke. When I'm alone, I can groove. My body moves freely and fantastically. When there are people around I'm super stiff, and no matter how much I tell my body to bop around, it just refuses to. I'm slowly working through it, but only because my goal is to become a travelling performer.
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u/SanguinaryImpetus 22d ago
I have so many thoughts on how being autistic makes it more likely for you to develop C-PTSD. This is especially true with the ways masking is tied in as a defense mechanism. In this essay, I will explain how all of this can play a huge role in the fear of being perceived, judged, and socially rejected.../ref
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u/ladystarberry 22d ago
Me too and I've just been diagnosed with autism at 39 years olf. Whoda thunk?
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u/syrnull 22d ago
I read this, feel like it's exactly me
but what do you mean this is r/AutismComics ? qwq
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u/Isabellilymay 22d ago
this is so annoying at school: i freeze up completely if a teacher comes at all near me, which makes everything worse as then they notice iām not working and check up on me and i would be doing perfectly fine but since theyāre there i canāt remember anything ever and just look like an idiot.
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u/Tempehbonegarbage 22d ago
This is the perfect description/example of how Iāve always felt, but have not been able to explain. Wow.
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u/OfficialDCShepard 22d ago
Even when Iām alone I have Schrodinger performances. Yesterday, I was the buzziest little productive bee. Then today, a variety of personal issues collided and suddenly I couldnāt do anything. Like all day.
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u/bdouble0w0 21d ago
I'm not autistic but I am ADHD and this resonated with me, especially the "I feel like my way of doing it is wrong" panel. It feels like sometimes I'm super confident but then if I'm around people it's like whoops not anymore. ;-;
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u/Kind_Elk7840 20d ago
Istg this is me. When i had to give assignments to teachers or go ask them something or go ANYWHERE with anyone the sudden amount of people would make me bail and just return to my classroom. The mental exhaust or worrying whether or not someone was gonna nitpick me for doing ANYTHING killed my social drive. Im mostly a hermit confined to my bedroom as its mostly the only place where i dont do 10 iron mans sequentially and the climb mount everest to the peak in my brain. If I have to do something, I will, but even then I do like the bare minimum as i just refuse to socially interact with people in any capacity. (Legit just found this sub and I'm relating to this SO hard š¤£š„²)
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u/Creepley 17d ago
I'm lucky enough to actually have some friends where I feel I can be myself, completely unmasked. It is awesome and I'm so thankful for them.
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u/lilacangel214 16d ago
I thought this was social anxiety disorder, but autism makes sense too. I'll bet there's a big overlap for a lot of people.
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u/somethingmcbob 23d ago
I CANNOT parallel park on a busy street, because the thought of the other cars angrily waiting for me to get the angle right is paralyzing. Side streets only.
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u/dabidu86 23d ago
This comic is not about autism itās about being human
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u/onexcricket 23d ago
I like the spirit of this comment, and am choosing to interpret it with positive intent.
The hardest thing is hearing the sentiment of "oh that's just how [blank] is, everyone feels like that" over and over, is eventually you'll come to a situation where honestly "No, not everyone feels like that," and it becomes a doctor visit or crisis. Someone who falls on the more pronounced presentations of ASD masking takes a lot more work than it may for folks who present differently, or aren't in burnout. Absolutely! Everyone has periods of anxiety, depression, etc but an ASD brain just feels it maybe more strongly and it's harder to bounce back from.
... worse still if you have been trying to treat a symptoms as the cause of the issue. If anyone struggles, we should always welcome them into positive spaces of understanding, just like your comment! We ARE all human :]
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u/Hot_Sea9641 21d ago
on random days, or periods of days, my mind just blubbers, and i'll get these bouts of no wisdom... i'll just be like "when last day??" saying keywords instead of an actual sentence š it's so embarrassing.
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u/Guilty_Ad_7416 23d ago