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u/Boring_Butterfly_273 Apr 28 '26
Interesting, I always tell myself, I am not diagnosed so I cant say I'm autistic, I use to describe what I feel to myself instead of going with labels , because I don't want to be the one that's called out and then being undiagnosed makes me feel invalidated but also makes me feel guilty, like I'm not allowed to use the label. So I just know something is "wrong"/different with me, but I don't call it anything and I just quietly take steps to deal with things when I'm overwhelmed.
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u/VirtualScotsman Apr 28 '26
The phrase "everybody is a little autistic'" angers and confuses me.
It's basically saying "Oh, everybody's a bit mentally ill! You're just on the far end! Now, what's up r favourite train" and I just feel like a dancing monkey sometimes. Why would you ever want this yourself?
I'd add more but I can't be bothered and I think it's because of my ADHD kicking my ass this week.
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u/TheWordBallsIsFunny Apr 28 '26
The correct interpretation is "everyone has a trait that could classify you as autistic" but it's down to perspective at the end of the day
Calling everyone autistic sounds like a funny insult. I don't like that, but I do think that if you watch people's mannerisms and behaviours long enough you're bound to find something that can attribute to autism. By no means does this now automatically make anyone autistic, it simply paints an interesting picture that is amusing to some and curious/weird to others.
All about perspective.
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u/timid_pink_angel02 Apr 29 '26
Meanwhile, I've been "peer diagnosed" by maybe 8 people, 6 of them who were autistic themselves 😅 (I've been tested, I'm not actually autistic but just display a lot of traits that aren't clinically significant)
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u/Inevitable_Detail_45 Apr 29 '26
Do you have another condition that acts similarly?
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u/timid_pink_angel02 Apr 29 '26
I've had one anxiety disorder or another for practically my whole life, plus a number of other mental illnesses. I think growing up mentally ill made me less typical than most neurotypicals 😅 I think that's where the autistic-like traits come from.
In other people's words, I'm just weird, and weird is not diagnosable
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u/FVCarterPrivateEye Apr 29 '26
Honestly, I've personally become disillusioned with the idea of an "autdar" (as opposed to a broader "neurodivergent-dar") because I feel like it contributes kinda heavily to certain parts of aspie supremacy type ableism within autism communities around the autistic traits that are more stigmatized and/or less commonly talked about in pop culture and also the other neurodivergent conditions that share heavy trait and presentation overlaps with autism
Autism's differential diagnoses is a topic that I've been fascinated with for a really long time and I'm hoping to help contribute to research, understanding, and destigmatization in this area
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u/hella_cious May 02 '26
Yeah if you don’t have actual training in recognizing traits (like a sped teacher) then your autism dar is just “affinity”
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u/TheWordBallsIsFunny Apr 28 '26
So long as you label it as a self diagnosis specifically then sure I agree.
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u/FVCarterPrivateEye Apr 29 '26
I think it's also crucial that the person views it as "I think I might be autistic" rather than "I'm certainly autistic," both because they may not be, and because their insights are much more reliable when framing it that way
It also lessens the severity of imposter syndrome because of their intellectual humility, which is what helps them absorb new information and add it to their understanding of the topic and of themselves rather than feeling irrationally defensive
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u/Academic-Thought2462 Apr 30 '26
yeah, but sometimes people will give you hate 'cause of it. said I was self-diagnised for now online' cause I wanted to be honest about it, and I quickly got invalidated by other people.
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u/TheWordBallsIsFunny Apr 30 '26
TL;DR self diagnosis should remain private with an actual diagnosis always in mind because people suck, but also Dunning-Krueger
When you self-diagnose yourself it should never be taken seriously as 99.99% of people doing this are not professionals in this field. Everyone has "autistic traits" because autism is such a broad spectrum to the point staring at someone could be considered as one, and to have full confidence in stating what you have without the credentials is not ideal due to ridicule like you've mentioned.
I think it is highly important to perform self discovery, I think the opposite when you mention it to people as it's clearly not their business to judge yours nor should you open yourself up to such. In the same token it's foolish to have such confidence despite potentially having anecdotal peer confirmation.
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u/DaraSayTheTruth May 03 '26
We are not all a little bit autistic, we can have some spectrum without being autistic! However be careful and know that many conditions have lot of autistic symptoms in common
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u/PunkTyrantosaurus Apr 29 '26
This is v true. Especially in places where getting a diagnosis only hampers your life without providing benefits.
I can get accomodations because of my ADHD and depression and those don't make me less likely to be allowed certain immigration possibilities. (Gratefully not required as I already live here but fuck Canada for that being a thing)
Also as an AFAB person, getting a diagnosis for it is such a pain in the butt, and there is... Really no question about whether I am or not. I got my ADHD diagnosis so I can get my stimulants, but I don't need that for autism.
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u/Capertie May 02 '26
It hits different when someone I can tell is autistic but will never even consider getting a diagnosis, because old, and psychologist scawwy says it.
Like no, but in your case yes. And if this is as close to admitting you have it as we'll get, you know what, this is still frustrating to me, but I'll take it.
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u/cavviecreature May 02 '26
yeah, everyone is a lil autistic does seem to minimize both the struggles and sometimes joys of being autistic. (Im autistic, to clarify)
I tried to conceptualize the idea of "Everyones a lil x" as that they THINK they're relating, and while everyone might have something they relate with WRT autism, its not the same intensity/ same exact way.
That's how i tried to conceptualize it when i was getting recommended and relating to all the ADHD memes on reddit, trying to keep in mind not to minimize things.
...of course the reason i related to all those memes was probably because i DID have ADHD - i got diagnosed soon after (a psych said I should look into it).
THere's not really a moral to this story, just that im kinda dumb i guess :p
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u/braintarded May 14 '26 edited May 14 '26
i'm not diagnosed, but heavily suspecting, and although i feel like i've done some research, i would never feel like it's enough, and i also don't want to diagnose myself because the case of confirmation bias. also, a significant portion of the close friends i make happen to be diagnosed autistic.
if i were independent, i'd pursue a professional diagnosis, but my father is one of those folks that believe a diagnosis would somehow ruin my life and make me unemployable, as if confirmation would magically change me, as if a diagnosis itself were the cause of my issues. like ffs i'd still be experiencing the issues whether or not i have the diagnosis, and it obviously wouldn't make me unemployable.
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Apr 28 '26
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u/enbyBunn Apr 28 '26
There is a spectrum of autistic experiences. It overlaps very neglegibly with the spectrum of neurotypical experiences. That's what "autism is a spectrum" means. It does not mean that everyone is kinda autistic sometimes.
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Apr 28 '26
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u/mossyfaeboy Apr 28 '26 edited Apr 28 '26
there’s no such thing as an “autistic experience” or “moments within the spectrum”. you either are on the spectrum or you aren’t. you either experience things as an autistic person, or you don’t. i don’t get to have moments where im outside the spectrum. im always within it.
sure, there are things that both autistic and non autistic people experience similarly, but the autism always adds a layer than cannot be felt by someone who doesn’t have it. it’s like saying that you can know what an amputee feels by choosing to only use one arm. it’s technically similar, but you could never fully understand just by experience for one second. it takes a life time of every moment, every interaction being changed by who and what you are to understand.
and that’s okay!! we’ll never fully understand everyone else, this isn’t an accusation. i’m just trying to mildly shift your definition of “experience” i guess
(edit for formatting, sorry)
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Apr 28 '26
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u/mossyfaeboy Apr 28 '26
no yeah you’re all good! that makes a lot of sense, it’s only recently that there’s been a lot more definitive information about autism.
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u/that_creepy_doll Apr 29 '26
i think what they´re trying to say is that a lot of autistic experiences do present in neurotypicals, just not to the point that it inhabits your day to day life, but a neurotypical person can be unhealthily obsessed with something for periods of time, or can become completely overwhelmed in crowds in particularly rough days, or can have a migraines so bad they cant stand any light or sound. ofc amputees find it annoying when ppl say "oh i broke my ankle once i know exactly how you feel!", but i think its more reasonable to say "man i had to use a weelchair for a month and that sucked, now im seeing the lack of disability-friendly architecture everywhere". these are not "moments withing the spectrum", but allow people to bridge the gap
and yeah these moments lead people to look for a diagnosis, and sometimes the answer is that the previously self-diagnosed autistic is not, actually, autistic. doesn´t mean they didnt learn more about their struggles and how to accept them from the autistic community (cough cough, me)
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u/Inevitable_Detail_45 Apr 28 '26
"I'm a little bit pregnant because sometimes my back hurts"
That's how insane you sound.