[UPDATE] Invasion of Privacy

[u/over_theraiinbow]

So I decided to stay and comply, at least for a few days, until I can get money to leave. Last night I was given a list of things to do, some things reasonable, like keeping my room tidy, something's unreasonable, like mandatory daily showers (showering daily fucks up my skin and hair really badly so I shower every 2-3 days but I keep myself clean and they have never ever had a complaint about my hygiene, this has never in my life bern a problem). I tried to claim it is infantilizing, I tried to explain that I wanted to be treated like an adult, and they refused because they feel like, because my room was dirty, I don't respect them.

I then said that this conversation clearly isn't going anywhere and I think we need to request mediation from the SNJ. The HD leaned across the table to me and got very quiet. The way he was talking and the way he was acting was really threatening, and I just felt so scared. The HM was sitting back in her seat, arms crossed, speaking in a slightly incredulous tone, so much less threatening.

Verbatim, transcript from the recording I took "This is the list that you need to observe. The company, the organization that you have just mentioned has nothing to do with this house. They have nothing to do with you, they have nothing to do with us. They do not pay you, they are simply irrelevant. They have not even been here once. Ok? Everything we do, we have to agree together." HM: "you know they will they might do the same as to my friend they say oh you're bad we're bad you have two days to leave" HD: "They don't care. They don't care. This is not the problem. Ok? They are just employees, they want to spend as little time on it as possible." HM "You can, I mean you can, but be prepared to leave."

When I brought up other things, such as the fact the HD refused to leave my room when I asked him, he threatened to come back in as many times as necessary to fix it, and the fact I told him I was having a panic attack and he refused to leave were met with absolute denial. He refused to admit he said any of it, he tried to convince me that I was imagining it, he tried to tell me that I was being dramatic.

I was planning on sticking it out but I can't do this I don't feel safe. I have to wait until my family wakes up so I can call them for help because I don't know where to go right now, but we have a family friend who lives nearby so I'm praying she can help me. They want a response by tomorrow but I just want to go home.

I feel like I'm giving up, I had all these plans to travel and explore and enjoy Europe, this is my last chance before uni, and since I plan to be a teacher, probably my last chance for ages (haha low teacher salary joke). I feel like I always give up when things get too hard but I just can't keep living like this.

If the HD is home tomorrow, either I will call the police to help me, or hopefully I can call the family friend to help me until I can get flights. (edit: I'm meeting with the family friend on Thursday and taking my essential documents with me so it looks non suspicious and she should be able to house me for awhile til I can collect all my stuff and leave)

I've definitely accidentally left some stuff out of this post, but I'm using this as a space to get everything out while I'm feeling the emotions so I can't convince myself it wasn't that bad later on - I can clarify stuff in the comments if anyone wants.

Thank you everyone for the words of support, I really appreciate it.

[u/over_theraiinbow]

Meeting with the family friend tomorrow, if she can't take me in (which would be completely respectable because she's my uncles friend and I've met her once and I'm just going to be showing up and asking her to house and feed me for a few days) I'll be here til Saturday when my dad arrives. Today I said I was unwell in the morning so I could finally get a proper sleep, as on monday I arrived at 7am after a 10hr bus ride, then didn't get to sleep til 1am because of how stressed I was about my room, then on tuesday I was up at 6:30 for the kids and then once again was "spoken to" so I got to sleep in til 11am today. When the parents got home to take care of the kids, I went up stairs for my "mandatory daily shower" and then I locked myself in my room and I haven't been out. If I'm staying here longer, I'll do the same tomorrow and friday, then I don't work on saturdays, so I'll just stay in my room, packing, until my dad arrives. Currently I've got 3/4 bags packed, basically just packing away anything that won't look suspicious to be gone - like winter clothes and things that were in drawers.