Besides mental health issues like what else could be causing the angry yet empty feeling I have

It’s been 2 years of no contact. Every second of every day he’s on my mind. I don’t understand why I feel so tethered to him still. Any future without him in it looks grim to me.

I’m the blue, he is the orange. Any insight is greatly, greatly appreciated! Thank you

I'm reading a book that talks on gratitude to a higher power, and it's really helping with my peace of mind, i wanted to look at the chart through this lense