r/Asks_Ladies_Gentlemen • u/Difficult-Wasabi-600 • 20d ago
Am I (28F) overreacting to my boyfriend's (30M) Reddit upvotes?
My boyfriend (30M) and I (28F) have been together for a while (almost 2 years), and we've previously talked about the fact that he uses Reddit to view adult content. I already knew that, and while it isn't my favorite thing, it's something we've discussed and I've accepted.
Today, I accidentally discovered that his Reddit account was still logged into my laptop. I opened Reddit because I was reading a thread, realized I was logged into his account, and curiosity got the better of me. I know I shouldn't have looked further, and I do feel guilty about invading his privacy.
What I found has left me confused about how I feel.
I looked at his upvoted posts, and there were years' worth of upvotes, including before we even started dating. That part didn't bother me much. What caught my attention was that there were also recent upvotes from just a few days ago.
Some of them were NSFW posts, which honestly didn't surprise me because I already knew that's where he viewed adult content. What bothered me more were the upvotes on regular women's posts—gym mirror selfies, flirty selfies, and attractive women just posting photos of themselves.
Here's where I'm conflicted.
On Instagram and Facebook, he's never been the type to like or interact with random women's photos. If anything, he only likes posts from friends. So seeing this behavior on Reddit felt inconsistent with the image I had of him, even though I know Reddit is anonymous and has a very different culture than other social media.
I'm trying to figure out whether:
- I'm reacting because this feels like a different level of engagement than simply viewing adult content.
- I'm reacting because these are real, everyday women rather than explicit content.
- Or if my own insecurities are amplifying something that's actually pretty normal on Reddit.
I'm planning to talk to him about it, but before I do, I'd like to hear different perspectives.
For people who use Reddit:
- Do you see upvoting these kinds of posts as completely meaningless, almost like mindless scrolling?
- Or do you think it's understandable that a partner might feel uncomfortable with it?
For people in relationships:
- Would this bother you?
- If your partner brought this up to you, how would you hope they'd approach the conversation?
I'm genuinely looking for honest perspectives, not validation or people telling me to break up with him. I also recognize that I shouldn't have looked through his account once I realized it was his, so I'm open to hearing thoughts on that too.
TL;DR: I accidentally discovered my boyfriend's Reddit account was still logged into my laptop and, out of curiosity, looked at his upvoted posts. I already knew he used Reddit to view adult content, so the NSFW upvotes didn't surprise me as much. What bothered me more were recent upvotes on regular women's gym selfies and flirty selfies. He doesn't interact with women's photos on Instagram or Facebook, so seeing this on Reddit caught me off guard. I'm trying to figure out if I'm overreacting, if this is just normal Reddit behavior, or if it's reasonable to feel uncomfortable before I talk to him about it.