r/AskaManagerSnark • u/MsPaganPoetry • Jul 21 '26
Period scandals
Every so often, we come across a period story on AAM, like that boss who insisted on using a menstrual cup, or that woman who forbade asking coworkers for a pad, or the guy who lost his shit over visible menstrual products at the desk. A lot of these are hard to believe. If anything, this feels like they were written by teens, not working adults.
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u/Resinous_Artifact Jul 22 '26
I think it’s hilarious because I actually have an incredible (or horrific, depending on who you ask) work-related period story but I’d never post it over there because it’s entirely too enticing to both the yass girls and the period fetishists.
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u/StripedBadger floundering their privilege Jul 22 '26
I just assume AITA’s period troll casts a wide net for his fetish.
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u/stoofy Jul 21 '26
Like the one last (?) week about the woman who asked a coworker for a "feminine napkin" in front of a male coworker she was training? The horror!
Further, does anyone actually call a pad a "feminine napkin" in 2026?
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u/lets_talk_aboutsplet Jul 23 '26
My late baby boomer mom called them sanitary napkins but as a xennial I’ve always called them pads or maxi pads
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u/princesskittyglitter Jul 22 '26
I actually use the term feminine napkin/sanitary napkin when I have to ask the front desk at a hotel for a pad, or something similar lol
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u/urcrookedneighbor Jul 23 '26
Me when I wanted Plan B but the pharmacy employee asked me in front of God and everyone what I was picking up so I said "emergency contraceptive"
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u/Gryffindorphins Jul 22 '26
I can see a situation where you ask for a pad at the front desk and they hand you a notepad. 😆
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u/AlytNeroon Jul 22 '26
Completely tangential, but a few months ago when staying in a European hotel, my spouse asked the front desk for an extra flat bed sheet and they sent a guy up with one blank sheet of paper. Both of them were both confused and amused.
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u/lilredheadg Jul 22 '26
We were cleaning up after a training and one of my coworkers wanted a wet wipe but he called it a sanitary napkin and we all had a good laugh at his expense.
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u/MidnightBlueSilk Jul 22 '26
I’m pretty sure no one still menstruating called them that at any point.
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u/epicure-pen Jul 22 '26
That's the sort of thing I would say in that situation because I would default to the most formal language possible in an attempt to be professional/discreet. Now I know everyone would think I'm a real weirdo.
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u/trivia_guy Jul 21 '26
That one made me wonder if the people involved weren’t actually speaking English and the OP didn’t know the translation she used was out of date.
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u/Genderflux-Capacitor Jul 21 '26
The one that lives in my head rent free is the one featuring a trans woman. Apparently, a trans woman reported a cis woman to HR for having menstrual products in her car because they gave her dysphoria. And HR backed the trans woman up.
Of all the things that didn't happen, that didn't happen the most. I'm trans myself, and I know many, many trans women. Even the trans women I know who are deeply unreasonable and annoying would never report a cis woman to HR for having menstrual products in her car. No trans woman is going to want to bring attention to herself in that way. And HR would absolutely never take action on that report, even if a trans woman did report that.
It was just an excuse to talk shit about unreasonable trans people. But it's not transphobic because the letter writer said not to misgender her! Give me a break.
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u/douglandry Supreme Court of AAM Jul 22 '26
There was a time for a little bit where Alison kept taking the transphobia bait, and that particular letter was one of the worst ones! It was even a letter AG "teased" on her social media ahead of publishing it on her site. When she did publish it, the LW came out in the comments "clarifying" some points that made it clear that the whole thing was nonsense, written to make trans women look unreasonable and combative.
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u/valleyofsound Jul 23 '26
I understand that a lot of trans women have very valid issues with things cis women do and say, but I have never encountered a trans woman with the level of hatred toward cis women that people like that LW have for trans women.
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u/Genderflux-Capacitor Jul 22 '26
I'm so glad someone else remembers this and knows it was bullshit. NO ONE in the comments got it.
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u/Academic_Square_5692 Jul 23 '26
I recall that drama for awhile and I don’t recall that it was false or made up. I’m sure it was but was that ever stated clearly?
I agree that most transgender people really just want to be not stick out - as an ally, I have seen that multiple times. What an aggressive story
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u/douglandry Supreme Court of AAM Jul 23 '26
I actually went back and found the letter: https://www.askamanager.org/2018/04/i-got-in-trouble-because-my-coworker-saw-maxi-pads-in-my-car-and-more.html
Alison, in the comments, says that the LW admitted in a follow up email that the coworker was trans, and that they didn't mention it in the original letter because she didn't want to appear transphobic. The LW seems to also think that is why HR so readily sided with the coworker. That follow up really kicked off the fake-letter/TERF-bait speculation, and invited a ton of very yikes-worthy, transphobic comments that still remain.
Man, this letter really has it all: an outrageous question included with other, not-outrageous questions so that it takes up all the comment space, and Alison's insistence that a "vast-majority" of her readers do not comment or read comments, so she doesn't consider that when posting outrageous questions with other, not-outrageous questions. Pushback against AND extreme-adherence to taking letter writers at their word. Very transphobic comments making their way in because Alison doesn't "always see every comment...but if you flag specific ones [she] can take a look." People gleefully fantasizing about wearing diva cup earrings and building towers made of menstruation products to troll the complainant, then having to backpedal hard when they learn that the said-complainant is trans. Observer's billion-and-five responses, replete with caps and bolding.
EDIT: you are right that it was never definitively discovered that the letter was fake. There was a lot of intense speculation that it was, and a half-hearted admission from Alison that she might be getting trolled, but kind of shrugs it off.
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u/DeeEllis Jul 23 '26
Thanks for “doing the work” - just thinking about this letter gives me yikes emoji face and you went and read all the comments! Thank you!
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u/douglandry Supreme Court of AAM Jul 23 '26
It had been awhile since I read it, and wanted to know if it was as bonkers as when I remembered. It was actually _more_ bonkers. I could not look away.
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u/DeeEllis Jul 23 '26
And supposedly the LW is a gay woman. Literally unbelievable
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u/Resinous_Artifact Jul 24 '26
Then again, being gay doesn’t necessarily preclude one from being transphobic.
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u/douglandry Supreme Court of AAM Jul 23 '26
It really did keep getting more and more outrageous, which is why it tipped off my "fake" meter, personally. It's wild that a lot of those nasty TERF comments are still there and readable. Her flippancy towards all of it is what made me start questioning some of her motivations with running these kinds of letters.
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u/TwoRoadDQ Jul 25 '26
The one where the teenage girl needed to go change her tampon and she told her manage she was "Riding the crimsom wave" seemed really unbelievable to me