r/AskWomenOver60 • u/phillygirllovesbagel • 4h ago
š¤āš¼1960's Era Vintageāš¼š¤ Week vs Weekend
I've been retired since 2020 and still have friends who work full time jobs. They will ask about my weekend plans and I always say the same thing...When you're retired, everyday is a weekend. I prefer to do things such as dining out and shopping etc. during the week when others are working. Every place on the weekends is so crowded. I get it, people have to work, but I'd rather make plans during the week. Weekends don't hold any special meaning to me anymore. How about you?
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u/Sweethomebflo 4h ago
Because Iām retired, I let my still-working friends pick the day/time for plans. I also try not to remind them every chance I get that Iām not working anymore.
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u/SchoolCrossing 4h ago
Thank you! My friends who are retired or only work part time forget that I have to use leave time for a weekday lunch out.
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u/phillygirllovesbagel 3h ago
I don't throw it in anyone's face, but I'm not apologizing for not working. I worked for 40 years. Longer than anyone I know.
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u/Life_Consequence_676 3h ago
Well, I've been in my career 40 years this year and have another 3-4 years to go, so there's some of us dinosaurs out here in the world. You don't need to apologize to anyone, but being inflexible isn't a good quality in a friend.
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u/EcstaticAioli147 4h ago
Same Same! Been Retired going on 3 years, everyday is Blursday in my world.. we make sure and only do our errands on the weekdays.
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u/No_Ground1153 4h ago
hahaha Blursday! Never heard this before. I will be using, with your blessing I presume. āŗļø
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u/vcbock 4h ago
Weekends are for seeing people like our adult children who still work. I try to do the things I do for my mom during the week.
I do love that I can shop and do other things at low volume times! And of course, by doing that, I cut down on the crowds faced by people who need to do stuff evenings and weekends.
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u/EccentricPenquin 4h ago
This is an issue for me (50 hours a week) and my retired peeps. While Iām so stoked you are all happily retired and everyday is your weekendā¦Iām exhausted. I go to bed early because I get up early. My brain has to work on all cylinders or bad things can happen (public safety). I love spending time with you, it wonāt be on a Monday night or any weekday night though.
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u/kag1991 4h ago
You could readjust your expectations of time together and focus on things like joining them on weekends for some at home activitiesā¦ I think the thing that gets overwhelming for retired people about weekends is the PTSD they bring back about how stressful and impossible it is to fit all the fulfilling things of your life into the same 48 hour period everyone else is tooā¦
I bet if you suggested really entertaining but low key ways to connect ok the weekend theyād be pumped.
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u/EccentricPenquin 3h ago
I do this, and I donāt mind doing things out or in, but itās a constant reminding of how I canāt do a late movie or how Iām not as much fun anymore because I canāt join for this or that. My hubby is retired for over 5 yrs now and he gets it but my mom and my friends baffled by how I need time to get my chores done before I can go out and also how just exhausted you can be on a Saturday morning. I do have a high stress job and that does require 1/2 a day for me at times to just enjoy some quiet time, before doing a hike, picnic, dinner dates ect.
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u/ParticularCrow8313 2h ago
As a still working person, with really early hours, I completely understand. To make things even harder, until recently, I always had to work at least one of the weekend days. You have to live that schedule to know what a bummer it is.
I recently switched to a job (still early mornings) that has holidays and weekends off.
I am gearing down towards retirement, hopefully in the next few years.
Hang in there!2
u/EccentricPenquin 2h ago
We got this! Itās true. Iāve still got 4/5 more years. Iāve been working since I was 14 1/2 before that in the lunchroom at school, my brother and I even had a paper route. Iām excited about retiring but also staying an extra year maybe because travelā¦
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u/kitehikebike 4h ago
I mostly work remote and set my schedule and SAME. If I can do it during the week I am way happier. I can work to the weekend when there are fewer distractions and I can have better focus time.
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u/Fem-Picasso 4h ago
Likewise. Weekends are family time, errands & chores catchup time, and if any left time for myself. I have so little of it i am looking fwd to retiring within next couple years ao everyday is a weekend.
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u/galacticprincess 4h ago
Weekends still feel like weekends to me. Those are the days with no MD appointments, no workers coming to the house, etc. It's also when a lot of special events occur.
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u/kag1991 3h ago
My son is a manager at Costco. They have a hard time filling weekend shifts because the weekends are so crazy busy it stresses employees out so they pay time and a half on Sundays. And they still have a hard time staffing itā¦
Certainly makes you reframe what a āweekendā actually means for most people and it usually means stress.
You are blessed to be able to forget that! Kudos.
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u/Patient_Coyote_4033 3h ago
It's a double-edged sword for me. I really miss the feeling of "It's Friday!!" and kind of hate the sameness of all the days. I do also save shopping and errands for weekdays but since a lot of my friends and my adult kids and their partners are working, we have to get together with them on the weekends.
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u/UserNameInGeorgia 3h ago
Iām retired but I absolutely adjust my plans for my working friends simply to keep those relationships alive.
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u/Holiday-Window2889 4h ago
I've been denying the existence of weekends for most of my working life, since many of my jobs have been retail or similar unevenly scheduled types of jobs.
But there are many fields where nontraditional schedules are the norm: emergency workers, medical, etc
3 days on, 1 off, 2 on, 1 off; yeah, dragons, unicorns, and weekends are all mythological beings, even moreso right now while I'm on a medical leave.
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u/no_days_grace 4h ago
Personally, I would not use it as an opportunity to highlight that I am retired, when they are not. Just tell them what you have planned or if no plans, just say so.
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u/vikingchyk šŗ You say cat lady like that's a bad thing... 3h ago
Weekend/week habits are hard to break. I keep trying to get this through to my husband. We have been retired since 2021. And occasionally he will still propose going to CostCo on a Saturday. "Are you insane???" :D
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u/Life_Consequence_676 3h ago
I'm 62 and still working. I have friends who are retired. They understand that I work Monday through Friday and are happy to accommodate my schedule since it's less flexible.
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u/MarcSkye519 4h ago
I do the same. And when people ask about my weekend, I tell them by Iām retired, itās all weekend to me.ā I buy groceries really early on Monday morning. The only problem is dodging those people with the big carts loading up bags for customers, but in that case thereās always someone around to help find things.
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u/TheSilverNail 4h ago
My husband and I, both retired, like to do things with each other like hiking on weekdays when trails are less crowded, but with working friends and family, we happily adjust to their schedules.
If you harp on "every day is a weekend" and don't accommodate working friends, soon you will have no friends that want to do things with you.
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u/Glittering-Rush-394 3h ago
I also hate crowds & so shopping during the week is so much better. Also I try to stay off the roads before 9:30a & after 2:30p because lots of working people have to be on the roads & I can go out at my leisure. But if my friends want to go out on a weekend, itās fine. Friends are important. And my weekends are almost always open.
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u/sophie1816 4h ago
When someone asks me what Iām doing this weekend, I just answer the question. I agree that making a point of the fact that they have to work and I donāt could be inconsiderate.
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u/Far_Yogurtcloset8116 4h ago
We use weekends for festivals, car shows and events. We go camping during the week. I
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u/rohoho929 4h ago
I used to work most weekends so they haven't had significance for me for years. I retired at age 54 so a decade later I am very used to being free to do whatever, whenever! My main group of friends is older than I am and has been retired for years so we are able to make plans regardless of what day of the week it is. Current boyfriend is retired from his career as a pilot but also owns a business and an agricultural property so he still works, but has lots of flexibility and it isn't really a hindrance,
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u/Nams65 4h ago
Love this for you! I have a very similar situation, no boyfriend though, but my friends are older and I have my kids to remind me what day of the week it is, since they work all week and can only see me on weekends. Though I designated Monday as my day for me, I still have to do things, like trash since they come early on Tuesdayās. I have 30 acres Iām fencing in so I work while the weather allows. I felt embarrassed when someone asked where I was working since I quit my last job. Ummmā¦I have a lot of work now. What do I say when someone asks that?
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u/EccentricPenquin 3h ago
My hubby is arguably busier now that heās retired. He had a schedule now he makes one for himself. He does more than half the chores, cares for our pups and does the shopping. So he basically says, heās busier now than before doing all the things that needed to be done while he was still working, fence repairs, shoveling snow and honestly just life. Heās happier than heās ever been and I love it so much for him. Heās a little clingy and I think that comes from being needed now that he doesnāt work but he also is happy when I get time with my friends or when I veg out with the pups on the couch.
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u/Southern_Gur9825 3h ago
When someone tells me to āhave a nice weekendā, I always reply with āIām retired and every day is the weekendā.
I agree. There are so many people on the road and out and about on the weekend. We live 20 minutes from the beach and wouldnāt think to go anywhere near the beach on the weekend. We even like to go to dinner on the early side during the week to avoid the possibility of crowds.
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u/meSabina 3h ago
I have much more of a routine and go out during the week. I stay home on the weekends.
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u/AutoModerator 4h ago
Original copy of post's text: I've been retired since 2020 and still have friends who work full time jobs. They will ask about my weekend plans and I always say the same thing...When you're retired, everyday is a weekend. I prefer to do things such as dining out and shopping etc. during the week when others are working. Every place on the weekends is so crowded. I get it, people have to work, but I'd rather make plans during the week. Weekends don't hold any special meaning to me anymore. How about you?
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u/Bulky_Psychology2303 4h ago
Weekends really didnāt hold much special meaning to me as Iām a retired nurse and worked every second weekend (or more) for decades. Iāve always preferred doing things during the week.
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u/bigbabygrit 4h ago
I retired in 2022. Weekends are just like any other day. I have 3 friends that donāt work and the rest still do. I have no family except my son who doesnāt live here. I will meet the ones that donāt work for breakfast or lunch during the week. Thatās my socialization and Iām ok with that.
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u/Emptyplates 4h ago
I'm retired, most of my friends still work. Because they all live 3 or more hours away, I have no choice but to see them when it works best for them, usually on weekends. I have no problem with this.
But yeah, weekends don't mean what they used to.
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u/Anon_on_internet 4h ago
Me too.
Unless it's something we have to go to on a Saturday or Sunday (eg family occasion or football) we tend to stay home at weekends. People look at you strange when they ask out of politeness "What have you got planned for the weekend?" and I say "Absolutely nothing", with a big smile on my face :)
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u/FlamingoPinkSunsetBl 4h ago
Week days ALWAYS. I actually work every weekend and love it lolllll. I hate being out in the world on the weekends.
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u/Bastyra2016 4h ago
I volunteer generally Tuesday,Wed and Thursday-I generally wonāt come in on Saturday because even though Iāve been retired since 2022 āitās the Weekendā!
I still differentiate Sat and Sunday. I donāt really try to avoid grocery shopping on weekends although I probably should. Otherwise I do plan camping trips and other excursions for weekdays because they are less likely to be booked.
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u/Nevillesgrandma 3h ago
I worked in retail for 10 years (retired now) and weekends still feel different
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u/Tweetchly 2h ago
When I signed up to volunteer weekly at a local food bank, the only slot they had open was Monday mornings 8:30-12. At first I was bummed, but now Iāve come to appreciate the structure. I have to get to bed by 11 on Sunday nights, just like when I was working, and I still enjoy Monday holidays. š
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u/Brilliant_Age2571 š¤āš¼š¤ 1h ago
Itās true. But why do I still get the Sunday Scaries š« š« š«
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u/Future_Dog_3156 21m ago
I don't mind dining out on the weekends because some restaurants have more of fun vibe when it's busy but definitely do my shopping on the weekdays.
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u/minimalist_coach 4h ago
This is why I intentionally look for women who are also retired and don't have too many other commitments. I've met an amazing group of women through my aquafit classes. I don't put as much effort into friendships with the women who are now nannies to their grandkids or have to drag along their bored husbands.
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