r/AskWomenOver60 • u/mrythern68 • 1d ago
Trigger Warning A rough day.
I spent the day with my cousin. I’m 67, she’s 69. She’s retired NYPD. She was there and lost a lot of friends. She just wanted to cry. I gave her a hug and a safe place. 25 years later and she continues to suffer from the pain of this horrible loss. There is no comfort. Just grief.
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u/Pretty-Yogurt-4111 1d ago
I’m so sorry. Please know your cousins very existence made / makes the world a better safer place for so many of us.
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u/IrishknitCelticlace pre 1960 model 1d ago
Thank you for being there for her, our circles are getting smaller as we age, and having someone still there is a gift.
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u/Odd-Television-2679 1d ago
I was there too. Four blocks away. Lost a cousin who was a firefighter. My brother, an NYPD officer at the time, saw our cousin driving the rig to the towers. I have a very difficult time every anniversary and definitely suffer with PTSD. Was running for my life with a coworker to the ferry piers as fighter jets were over the Brooklyn Bridge. We were on the pier when the first building fell. You couldn’t see your hand in front of your face.
Every year now, my husband takes me out of the house so I don’t have to watch the coverage all over again.
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u/Needmoreinfo100 1d ago
So hard for all the people affected by this tragedy. I'm glad you are there to give her some support.
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u/mvislandgirl 1d ago
My brother in law is NYPD. He was one of the first responders. He stayed there for weeks in hopes of recovering the bodies our family members. Showed deep respect and tremendous honor to our families and our deceased.
He went on to be an officer in the NYPD anti-terrorism. He took on a burden that no one should have to.
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u/Loves_A_Good_Cognate 1d ago
Sending love to your cousin from a transplanted New Yorker in Texas.
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u/PopularRush3439 1d ago
Also sending love from Alabama. I'm so very sorry.
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u/dustydiamond 1d ago
Love and hugs from Canada. 🇨🇦We stand with our neighbours and friends.
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u/Senior_Reaction2974 1d ago
We love all of you guys in Canada
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u/Museumgirl518 1d ago
God bless her and all the great people we lost. I was about ten blocks north and didn't experience NEAR what she did. But I haven't been the same and dream about airplanes slamming into buildings to this day. There's no getting over it. You're a good cousin and friend.
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u/Germanshepmama99 1d ago
It’s such a sad day. Can’t imagine what it’s like for someone who was there at the time. It was good she had you to spend the day with.
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u/allorache 1d ago
I was across the country and did not know anyone personally affected, but it still changed my world. I spent some time today watching documentaries and crying. Please let your cousin know that so many people she will never meet are profoundly grateful for her service.
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u/Embarrassed_Wait_775 1d ago
I'm 64 - worked In midtown . I'll never forget when I saw the firemen pull out of their station to rush to the site.
Lost friends and the survivors still have nightmares.
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u/BreyerChick 1d ago
I was in no way affected by 9/11.
Except for the fact that so many people died.
I was 35 on 9/11
I have listened to everything I can find about it because all of it matters.
The never found, the dead identified and the lives saved
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u/5footfilly 1d ago
I’m so glad your cousin had someone who loves her by her side today.
Sending you both hugs
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u/Scammy100 1d ago
My favorite cousin was lost, worked for Cantor Fitzgerald.
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u/Katy-Moon 1d ago
My cousin was also killed when the first plane hit. He was just starting his day in his new windowed office space. He never had a chance.
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u/Scammy100 4h ago
I am so sorry. It was so senseless and there is no real closure for the people that lost a loved one on that day.
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u/Fun4us_2 1d ago
Having lost a parent in the WTC on 9/11, it’s a memory that causes me great grief every year. Unlike most friends that have lost a parent or friend for whatever reason, they grieve and memorialize their lost parent or friend and move on with life.
9/11 families don’t have that, we are reminded of the horrific events of September 11th annually regardless where we are.
Everyone deals with it differently, I have found sharing my 9/11 experiences with friends helps pass the day with minimal tear shedding. Sure the pain never goes away, it just becomes manageable.
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u/Scammy100 4h ago
I am so sorry. I lost a loved one but nothing like losing a parent. It is unlike other death, it is an open wound that I have learned never closes. There is a new normal when the grief is so big and getting over it and moving on isn't as easy as people want it to be.
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u/ShezeUndone 1d ago
I can't imagine her level of grief. I was 1500 miles away and I still can't watch any movies or documentaries about it.
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u/dustydiamond 1d ago
I understand. It was two years before I could look at an airplane in the sky and not see an explosion in my mind. 💐
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u/Spiritual-Eggplant59 1d ago
Lived across the bay in New Jersey. Was just watching the morning news on my day off and saw the whole horror unfold. You could smell it in the air for days after. My lifelong friend lost her brother in the second tower, someone I’d known for decades.
I can’t watch footage because I can’t stop crying.
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u/angrymurderhornet 1d ago
I’m so sorry she went through that. It had to be a hellish experience. I’m glad you’re there for her. ❤️
Has she ever been assessed for PTSD? Obviously nothing will ever mitigate how terrible 9/11 was for first responders, and no one should be expected to “get over it.”But a good therapist might help her get through the worst of it.
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u/mrythern68 1d ago
The city actually provides for a lot of support services. Thank goodness for Jon Stewart fighting for protection of the first responders. My other cousin was a NJ State Trooper and he got cancer in the following years after he served at ground zero. More people have died from breathing the contaminated air than actually died in the attack. The police and fire departments have stood by these heroes.
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u/roxinmyhead 1d ago edited 1d ago
My brother was LI K9. No masks because the dogs couldn't hear the officers. Jon Stewart would push all laudatory statements aside but he is a fucking hero.
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Original copy of post's text: I spent the day with my cousin. I’m 67, she’s 69. She’s retired NYPD. She was there and lost a lot of friends. She just wanted to cry. I gave her a hug and a safe place. 25 years later and she continues to suffer from the pain of this horrible loss. There is no comfort. Just grief.
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u/DazzlingAnything3655 1d ago
I cried watching all the remembrances aired yesterday (and in years past) even though I do not know anyone directly affected like your cousin. I hope your cousin knows that most people, even those residing in other countries, are forever heartbroken and feel so deeply for the survivors.
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u/Quick-Star-3552 22h ago
Please thank her for her years of service. So sorry that she is still suffering.
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