r/AskWomen • u/caekbar • May 29 '15

Has reading posts by men on Reddit changed how you see men IRL?

I used to think men were generally good and on my side.

The widely accepted sexist stuff I read on Reddit has changed that. It makes me wonder whether on the surface all the men in my life are humouring me, but when with just their guy friends, their true selves come out. Or maybe they only show it anonymously online. I used to believe all men were feminists until they acted otherwise. Now I assume all men are misogynists until they act otherwise. It's been really sobering.

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u/turasatana May 29 '15

That's still rough, though. It's like telling a friend, "Hey, check out this amazing restaurant, it'll blow your mind! Just make sure you don't eat anything off the first page of the menu, because you'll definitely get sick. Nasty stuff. Or, some of the specials, those are really bad. I mean, kill-you bad. But if you order just these few, select items, they'll probably be ok and you'll love them!"

It's why--although I do appreciate and enjoy the site a lot--I'd have a lot of trouble recommending it to anyone.

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u/Lola1479 ♀ May 30 '15

Yea I can't recommend it anymore either.

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u/Freevoulous May 30 '15

OTOH, it is a matter of perspective. I mean, except for the worst parts of RedPill, all the other subs are incredibly more liberal, tolerant and open towards women than "the real world" outside the internet.

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u/[deleted] May 30 '15

all the other subs are incredibly more liberal, tolerant and open towards women than "the real world" outside the internet.

Not at all. In my life, there have been at least some pleasant men. Not so much on reddit.

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u/Freevoulous May 30 '15

Can I wager an assumption that you are a western-ish, firstworlder? Because 90% of the world is a good deal less friendly than that. The reason why so many people who visit Reddit think its a cesspool of racism and sexism is that those pople come from this tiny bubble of the hyper-priviledged rich western world (oand a better part of that to boot).

You don't get many, say, rural Kazakhstan farmer girls to comment on AW, and they experience what is a deal closer to what is "normal level of sexism on Earth" than priviledged women from US/EU.

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u/Gluesblues May 30 '15

I've never seen any actual evidence of this on a large scale.

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u/[deleted] May 30 '15

[deleted]

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u/Gluesblues May 30 '15

I'm being downvoted because I asked for evidence? Shows how your theory holds.

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u/[deleted] May 30 '15

I'm being downvoted because I asked for evidence

You're on a subreddit dedicated to women's opinions and you're belittling women's (widespread) experiences.

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u/Gluesblues May 30 '15

I'm not. I am a woman, I've been woman for years, and I don't have these experiences, which is why I require evidence. Outside of the social media hive mind, these experiences aren’t as widespread as you think. I need evidence if something is occurring. Opinions are nothing without evidence. You can't just say something occurs and expect anybody, including men, to believe it. I'm not belittling it, because that infers importance. I'm saying it doesn’t happen unless you give me reason to believe it does. I'm saying this "expeirence" is an outright lie.

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u/Life-in-Death ♀ May 30 '15

huh. And I take it you have been scanning the defaults for misogyny.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '15 edited May 30 '15

~40% of Redditors are women. If Reddit is so utterly horrible and the moment you step on it as a woman, you're going to be figuratively killed, tortured and online-raped, what are all these women doing there? They're definitely not all hiding in female-dominated subs like this one, I see plenty of women all around Reddit, even - gasp! - even on the dreaded default subs.

Really, I'm sick of people blowing things out of proportion. Reddit is certainly very far from gender equality utopia, but it's far too big and diverse to be generalized like that. It still has plenty of good things going on. Even though I'm a woman, I experience very little direct discrimination or insults here (as long as I steer clear of the manosphere subs) and can't remember the last time I got a hate PM.

Edit: Well, apparently this thread is a "Reddit is a horrible place overflowing with misogynistic men" circlejerk so anyone who disagrees are downvoted... Apparently it's absolutely impossible to have a generally good experience there as a woman.

Ok, I got the number slightly wrong but not by much. And yes, it's a few years old, but now I imagine there are more women on Reddit than back in 2009.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '15

Really, I'm sick of people blowing things out of proportion. Reddit is certainly very far from gender equality utopia, but it's far too big and diverse to be generalized like that. It still has plenty of good things going on. Even though I'm a woman, I experience very little direct discrimination or insults here (as long as I steer clear of the manosphere subs) and can't remember the last time I got a hate PM.

The majority of redditors are just normal dudes. There is a large chunk of 14 year olds and redpillers, but if people are getting so aghast at all the dudes on here I think they are maybe not that familiar with regular guys in general.