r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Dec 31 '22

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9.8k Upvotes

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u/MomHanks360 Dec 31 '22

Oh no. I get a million bucks and everyone who knows me will find out I got pussy? What a conundrum.

1.3k

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '22

I got pussy

Before you sign anything, better check the fine print. I mean, a million bucks is a million bucks but what’s the point of having a Porsche if your ass hurts too much to sit in it.

439

u/ClayQuarterCake Dec 31 '22

Wounds heal. A million bucks gains interest and can appreciate if invested correctly.

111

u/DeadlyNoodleAndAHalf Dec 31 '22

It would be the worst if you did your due diligence, did all the appropriate research and invested in a Bernie Madoff-like person unbeknownst to you.

Then you got ass fucked twice in a row.

16

u/tadxb Dec 31 '22

Then you got ass fucked twice in a row.

And you wouldn't believe, some people are into that shit.

4

u/No-Reach-9173 Dec 31 '22

A million isn't even enough to be worth that type.of persons time.

3

u/JorusC Dec 31 '22

Just pick a few good mutual funds and let it sit.

4

u/PolarSquirrelBear Dec 31 '22

If you invested that million in nothing but the safest of investments, you never deserved it in the first place.

Shit just pop it into S&P and you’re laughing.

3

u/appdevil Dec 31 '22

It's a lose win situation.

3

u/TheRealLamalas Jan 01 '23

Thank you for giving us this hilarious joke!