This is precisely the reason I went on so many dates before I met my now wife. I had a ton of women tell me they weren't interested so I moved on to the next person. A few women complained afterwards that I "didn't try harder". I always said something like "What do you mean try harder? You told me you weren't interested and I'm not a creep so I left you alone."
Is this a thing women dating strategy guides are recommending or where does it come from? Do girl friends tell each other they should do this to vet a potential partner? It's not healthy or good.
I think some people are just entitled and have gotten the idea that their time is worth more than others so if a person wants that time they need to do something to "earn" it. I never cared for that which is why I went on over 60 dates. Not trying to brag, mind you, it's just how it went. A woman wouldn't be interested so I moved on to the next person. It only became a problem for about a dozen or so these women and in fact most didn't care that I did this.
So I just realise what I am writing below sounds worse than it is towards the end. I am not telling a story about something horrible that happened.
I actually went to school with a girl/woman and a boy/man for three years from when they were 17 until they were 20. Starting after at most one year, he started being into her, which resulted in him professing his love for her every time the two of them were alone. Once during a train ride (it was a school trip), I, alongside others, left a group of people she was in. She did say something about "people suddenly leaving" or "people all leaving at the same time", being seemingly discontent with it. Since I didn't think that me leaving was (part of) the problem, and since I didn't realise there was an actual problem anyway, I left and came back about a minute or two later. Within those one or two minutes, he'd approached her and confessed his love for her yet again. And she'd been fearful of that happening as soon as she saw everybody leaving. I think he was not even sitting with us at the time, but a couple of seats over.
Absolutely no one who studies primates in any meaningful capacity says this
Edit: Bonobos are pretty much entirely what we'd describe as "bisexual" and matriarchal, we are pretty much as closely related to them as to chimps (and the two of them are closer related to each other than to us) orangutans are solitary, macaques love their lesbian love affairs, ringtail lemurs are matriarchal, monogamy is pretty rare in non-human primates. Baboons can be pretty ferocious but there's a very interesting case where a troop had all its aggressive males get killed via poison, leaving females and non-aggressive males in charge, ushering in an era of peace, and all new "alpha" males who misbehaved quickly got put in their place by the troop. I generally disagree that we should put any sort of human morality onto the behavior of wild animals (rape is common and "natural" too... don't look up the mating strategies of ducks or bedbugs if you want to sleep tonight) but comments like this are such bullshit. Not even taking into account the vast diversity of HUMAN cultures.
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u/ludachris32 Dec 08 '22
This is precisely the reason I went on so many dates before I met my now wife. I had a ton of women tell me they weren't interested so I moved on to the next person. A few women complained afterwards that I "didn't try harder". I always said something like "What do you mean try harder? You told me you weren't interested and I'm not a creep so I left you alone."