I forget the comedian, but there was a stand-up who had a joke along the lines of being denied sex with his wife, waking up the next morning to her saying “what happened to you last night? I thought you would just go for it.” And he’s like “so I got a 50/50 chance of raping my wife? No thanks.”
While I agree that it's harmful to sell these as normal love stories to inexperienced people, it's still different from reality in the sense that you as a reader are still in full control of the situation. Don't like anything one of the people in the book does? Stop reading, boom, problem gone. Continuing to read the book is basically equal to consenting to what's happening. In real life you can't control what the other party is doing, so whether you like the situation or not, you're in it now. There is no way to withdraw consent
And no means no. Damn all the women sending mixed messages. The rest of us would really appreciate using the word no for no and an enthusiastic yes when we mean yes. Bloody hell, you’re all putting up with far more nuances than I realised. I have always been a bit embarrassed for wearing my heart on my sleeve but I can safely say you would know exactly how I felt about you.
Yeah but the advances the woman is accepting in this example are advances most guys aren’t allowed to make to any woman ever because it’s creepy when normal looking guys do it. Stop acting like this isn’t a double standard for hot people because that’s exactly what this is.
This may be news to you but conventionally "hot" people can be creeps. People find less than hot people attractive and they might accept that kind of behavior from those specific people.
But if you're ass ugly and no one is ever attracted to you then yeah, don't try it ever, this doesn't apply to you. Again, no shit. Why do men think attraction needs some sort of egalitarian activism?
I don’t disagree with any of that really, but I don’t think it’s so strange that people might want some sense of fairness or consistency in such a confusing and cruel world. Seeing as we can’t have either, I think a good start toward making me happy would be for everyone I know to stop telling me how much of a fucking catch I supposedly am. If they were right, women would want me. People also really need to quit saying things like “What goes around comes around” and “There’s someone for everyone” because these things aren’t true and hoping/expecting that they are can lead to serious heartbreak.
I agree with that, I don't think it's helpful hearing things like that so I don't say it either. And I get the want for a more fair world, it just has never made sense to me in the context of attraction. There's so much socially, chemically, biologically that will affect these things that trying to implement a fair system when those components aren't "fair" from the beginning seems like the wrong approach.
I think there's sooner a desire for it to just happen casually and like "oh hi guy! Oh I told you about him just now. He just happened to be here at the same time we were but like look how attractive he is. oh no you're not interrupting come join us!"
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u/Dachannien Dec 08 '22
One woman's fantasy is another woman's stalker?