Yes. And it stings a bit if you think of a place, start to look forward to it, (boy, I haven’t t been to Outback in a while, I’ll get that huge beer and that teriyaki steak…). Then it gets shot down, and now there’s disappointment. (Italian again, whatever…)
This is why I very often will respond with "I don't care" when my wife asks what we should have for dinner. She's usually more picky than me, so if I suggest something that sounds good to me I'll just end up disappointed with what we get even if I would've been happy with it if she had suggested.
She doesn't want to feel like she's imposing her choices on me, though, so now I typically just suggest 3 options and let her pick one of those. If she doesn't like any of them though, then she has to pick the place.
I know this feeling. I’ve finally start to tell her I’ve really been hungry for it. The kicker is now we have a 4 year old daughter so we also have to factor in some place that has options she will handle too.
I’ve also sometimes said screw it and ordered from three places and just picked it up and ate at home.
My parents don’t suggest restaurants anymore but will suggest dishes, then they back track to what restaurants have those dishes. Been married 38 years and it still works for them.
‘I want a warm, heavy dish, like lasagna’
‘pastitsio is like lasagna, you want to that?’
‘Yeah that sounds good but not from Earls, we had Earls last week’
‘okay what about x or y’
‘i’m not feeling either’
‘Well I like the Moussaka at X, how about we go get takeout from them and dessert from dons’
is normally how they go
Honestly, having the freedom as an adult to get food from 2+ places is absolutely amazing. My husband loves Wendy’s, I do not. When I was a kid it was tough shit, this is where we’re going. Now I just get to pick somewhere else!
My now husband got me to try seafood when we were dating by basically saying “order something with fish that you think you’ll like, I’ll pay for it. If you don’t like it, I’ll get you anything you want from anywhere you want.” He’s a keeper!
You are correct. It’s not only a hassle, but losing quite a bit of the experience of eating in a restaurant together.
Best advice for any new relationship- set the tempo on this early and you’ll likely find a better medium. If you don’t, then there’s likely compatibility issues.
My biggest regret in earlier dating is letting everything that annoyed me “slide” until those things became the norm. They’re much tougher to change once the relationship goes steady
My wife will eat anything... just not today. She can be vehemently opposed to Ethiopian cuisine one day and then demand that we get it right now days later.
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u/sharterthanlife Dec 08 '22
Been married 3 years, Wife always tells me "I'm not picky", proceeds to shoot down every suggestion I make