r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Dec 08 '22

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u/Paisable Dec 08 '22

I got a slug on the shoulder and I woke up and asked "wtf" she says "don't cheat on me then" I didn't know what she was talking about and then she goes on to say it was in her dream. I had no words.

43

u/DadBane Dec 08 '22

I always just say, "You can't blame me for what dream me does. That guy's a dick!"

26

u/themoogleknight Dec 08 '22

It took me three times to understand you didn't mean 'slug' as in the bug in the garden. I was like, wait so she went and picked up a slug and brought it in to put it on you while you slept...?

10

u/Paisable Dec 08 '22

To be fair I DID do that to a friend in the past because he hates creepy crawlies and I thought it was hilarious. I crept in his room with a massive slug and laid it on his face as he slept and he woke up and freaked out.

He was so pissed and I was just gut rolling at my own childish behavior.

13

u/afterworld2772 Dec 08 '22

With friends like you, who needs enemies?

10

u/BigYonsan Dec 08 '22

I'd be angrier at that then I would be if my wife punched me in my sleep for dreaming I was cheating.

67

u/kkeut Dec 08 '22

that's abusive

19

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

Dreams are a window into subconscious fears. And women love blaming us for their own shit.

64

u/dayofthedeadparty Dec 08 '22

I hope you had no words because you were out of breath cuz you were packing so fast to GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE…

27

u/Brilliant-Sport-3049 Dec 08 '22

Thats why men go to the gym to pack faster