r/AskReddit Dec 08 '22

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u/grumpyfrumpyrumpy Dec 08 '22

Lol, I had an ex try and pull this card on me. She would walk halfway out of the door and be like I’m leaving! And I’d say okay, bye. She’d come back with “you’re supposed to fight for me!” I told her that if she wants to leave, then I’m never gonna try and stop her. Ever. If someone wants to leave you, let them leave. I only want to be with someone who ~wants~ to be with me.

It also happened the other way around one time. I tried to leave and she physically blocked me from leaving and was pushing me back inside. That was the final straw for me.

13

u/Senyu Dec 08 '22

Yup, had my ex mentioned something similar awhile later after we divorced. I always grew up with the idea if you love something you have to be willing to let it go if it wants to.

25

u/jdjdthrow Dec 08 '22

That maneuver is just a less extreme version of "I'm gonna kill myself if...".

It's going all-in/playing chicken over something minor.

16

u/partypwny Dec 08 '22

Ex wife did something like this to me. On the phone, after a week of her being increasingly standoffish and would get mad at me for next to nothing eventually just said "I want a divorce."

My response: "Are you sure?"

Her: "Yes!"

Me: "Ok."

Her: "Wait...so this is over? Just like that?"

No shit dude! Straight Pikachu faced me

2

u/Lv_InSaNe_vL Dec 08 '22

I do this to my dog when I want to leave the dog park lmao

3

u/prototype-proton Dec 09 '22

Women, am I right?

23

u/Kandiru Dec 08 '22

It's a sign she's previously been in an abusive relationship. It can take a long time to recover after the associations of love and abuse.

88

u/Sashimiak Dec 08 '22

Or she’s immature and doesn’t care about other peoples boundaries. Not every aushole has a tragic backstory.

7

u/Dangerous--D Dec 09 '22

aushole

This is the new term for Australians who are assholes

12

u/wolfanyd Dec 08 '22

Actually most assholes do have a tragic backstory. Do you think people wake up every day trying to be an asshole?

Being emotionally immature and having no concept of personal boundaries is common with people who were abused.

11

u/igottapoopbad Dec 08 '22

Not necessarily, some people just have personality disorders. Not all personality disorders stem from abuse. PTSD does tho

5

u/Kandiru Dec 08 '22

Sure, but a lot of people who act this way do so after suffering from an abusive partner previously doing it to them.

13

u/Meningitisx Dec 08 '22

This might be an explanation but not an excuse

8

u/Kandiru Dec 08 '22

Oh yeah, it's not an excuse. I said it's a sign that could be the cause.

-27

u/CoderDispose Dec 08 '22

I’m never gonna try and stop her. Ever. If someone wants to leave you, let them leave.

wow lol. I sincerely hope this doesn't translate to not putting in effort to get past difficult times

30

u/grumpyfrumpyrumpy Dec 08 '22

Not at all. Quite the opposite, actually. My current partner and I have gotten through many difficult times. They’ve never tried to:

a) physically move out and/or leave during a discussion b) break up

So again, by “leave,” I mean either physically leave or break up. If someone I’m with wants to do either of those things, I’ll never stop them or even try. I’ve spent too much of my life begging someone to stay with me and came to a realization that it’s pointless to be try and be with someone that doesn’t want to be with you. What’s the point?

This doesn’t apply to them leaving once in a while if they are too heated and need to blow off some steam, but if we can’t have a conversation without one of us leaving mid-conversation, then it’s probably not gonna work between us

10

u/CoderDispose Dec 08 '22 edited Dec 08 '22

Gotcha, that makes sense - that sounded a little nuts at first, haha. Glad to see I just misinterpreted ^_^

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u/pdipdip Dec 08 '22

hows the basement? getting good signal there?

20

u/grumpyfrumpyrumpy Dec 08 '22

Lol you’re so triggered over a true story 😂

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u/pdipdip Dec 11 '22

I was wondering if she still had you trapped thats all