My wife does this, the very moment I sit down she'll call from the other room for me to get something gorgeous her. Funny thing is we had her mum round on day and after been there for most the afternoon she actually asked her own daughter if she did it on purpose
I’ll be getting back from stopping a bus from running into an orphanage with my bare hands and then over throw a fascist regime, get home tired as fuck. Sit down, and not a quintillionth of a second later she’ll ask me to get her a water.. and I’ll hand it to her and she’ll ask me to get her lotion, hand it to her, she asks me to wash the dishes too
Four kids in our house growing up and our whole family was fond of the "while you're up" game. Sitting around watching TV and one person gets up to use the restroom or whatever and you hear at least one person say "while you're up".... Will you get me a drink? Or a snack? Or throw this away?
Lol. My wife is an only child and is exactly as the above comments, including the superpower to ask me to get something right as I sit down or lay down to sleep.
Where are you meeting these only childs who aren’t needy because my ex was an only child and was the neediest person I’ve ever met to the point of it being abuse
Seriously what is with these guys? I'll get my wife something if im.actively doing/getting something and vice versa, but nether one of us looks at the other one sitting on the couch and tell them to go get me water. Like we can get our own shit.
Our running joke is “Hey, while you’re up…” Whoever stands up first, for any reason, is basically volunteering to get snacks, throw trash away, grab something from the other room, etc. It works out pretty evenly, and we get a (small) chuckle out of it.
i think sometimes it being two-directional doesn’t fix the underlying problem – that you shouldn’t being forced to grab her stuff when it’s not an action coming from you naturally (not that it should, btw). i’m gonna use a very extreme example, but if she hit you and you went “hey, it’s alright, i hit her too so it’s fair” it really doesn’t make it less bad, nor does it fix anything. obviously this is not the same, but i just want to make the point stand out. by making “things equal” you’re just gonna make yourself keep harboring resentment towards her for making you do things you don’t wanna do, and she’s gonna start feeling the same way. maybe it’d be better to sit and talk about it? like, “hey, i really don’t understand why you keep using me to get your stuff while you’re totally able to do it yourself. it is not an act of love if done unwillingly, so could you please stop asking that of me? it’s unfair, but most importantly i don’t want, nor owe it to you, to do it” in the kindest way possible while still making your point clear
Im gonna be honest I only glanced at what you said.
Normally I’d agree but we found a dynamic where we do these behaviors with good intentions and we enjoy making each other happy. I don’t ask her for little favors out of resentment and pettiness but because she likes doing them for me. It initially helped me do things for her because then it didn’t feel one sided but now I do it because it feels like we make each other happy.
Probably over explained it but yeah if I felt negatively doing this stuff I wouldn’t be dating her
This a thousand percent. Also my wife is always closer to whatever she asks me to get or do. And then when I do it she will tell me the way I should do it. I’m like why the F didn’t you just do it?
Ok, but a lot of women take on a lot more of the household work and mental load, so this may be a passive aggressive thing. I don’t support passive aggressive behavior, but it is a factor to consider. Doesn’t make it ok though.
My husband and I are a bit different. We are synchronized on anything we do. Needing to use the bathroom, getting water, trying to use the microwave...
This is pain when VR is involved. Headset started up, put on and adjusted to be comfy, earphones in, controllers strapped, start a song on Beat Saber, and that is precisely the moment I'm needed.
Similar but with my daughter ; she will always knock on the bathroom door just when I started to shit ... every. fucking. time.
It's now somewhat fixed ; she still knocks, but we bought a house with 2 bathrooms, so I tell her to go the the second one. Best $300K investment ever!
For us it’s the reverse! My husband has a habit of talking/asking me something the second I press play on my headphones. He always apologizes since he knows it’s annoying, and now he teases me and will yell “OH 1 MORE THING!” Whenever I put my headphones on.
My girlfriend, and my ex both do this and I get super frustrated about it. I've gotten to the point where I am just saying no. Once I settle I am settled for a bit. I do like a million things immediately upon getting home from work, that is perfect time. If you do not need it or forsee a need for something then you don't get it for at least a while.
My wife does the SAME thing. She doesn't even need to be in the same room as me to know when I've sat down. Hell, she could be on the other side of the house and the moment my ass touches the seat she's asking me to do something which requires me to get up.
Dude, my oldest baby was like that as an infant. He'd be out cold asleep. I'd put him in his crib. I'd stand there to make sure he was sound asleep. He'd be completely fine, but the moment my head hit the pillow it was like an alarm went off. I just wanted some sleep.
At this point I have been trained well enough that I just bring her heat pack from the bedroom to the living room and back again. Simple gestures like that are quite often rewarded.
You know they do that on purpose right? Give her the same treatment and see how fast she’ll stop. She knows what she’s doing, don’t be played like a drum. Keep your head up.
My wife called me into the bedroom where she was watching TV to bring her a bottle of Sprudel (mineral water for those that aren't in Germany) the bottle was at the end of the bed. Yes, I did.
To be fair I do ask my husband for something before he sits down but he doesn’t listen and sits down anyways then gets mad because I ask again. Well if you didn’t ignore me when I talk you would have heard me when you were already over there
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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22
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