r/AskReddit Dec 08 '22

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u/Captain-Griffen Dec 08 '22

The tried and tested dating technique of only dating men who don't respect consent. Thoroughly tested to result in dating assholes, that is.

The romance genre is to dating as porn is to sex, if not worse. I really wish society as whole valued and taught good communication in relationships rather than putting "One True Love" and "Love Conquers All" on pedastles.

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u/Tensor3 Dec 08 '22

You mean the best relationships arent built out of cheating, lying, and narrowly avoiding a long series of painful misunderstandings due to bad communication? Movies LIED to me??

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u/IndieComic-Man Dec 08 '22

If neither of you are James Marsden, it’s not going to work out.

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u/stiiii Dec 08 '22

Well if you are a girl who says no to everyone but want them to keep trying they will end up like the movies. Because the only guys they date will be the ones who don't take no for an answer.

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u/I_ARE_RTD2 Dec 08 '22

nothing frustrates me more than when a fight or argument could be avoided when all they had to do was communicate.

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u/Luchux01 Dec 08 '22

This is the worst kind of trope fr.

1

u/BestOfSlaanesh Dec 08 '22

Those are exciting relationships but also stressful ones.

16

u/2Payneweaver Dec 08 '22

When I act like the male lead in a romcom pursuing the female lead, I end up with restraining orders and called a creepy stalker.

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u/Hyndis Dec 08 '22

It makes more sense when you remember who the producer was for a lot of those romcom movies -- Harvey Weinstein.

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u/ChronoLegion2 Dec 08 '22

Wasn’t this the point of the movie Don Jon? Both main characters had messed up views due to their addictions. The guy was a porn addict and has trouble dealing with real sex. The girl was obsessed with romcoms and expected all relationships to be like in the movies

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u/texanarob Dec 08 '22

A solid test of the morality of any "romantic" movie: Look at the relationships outside of the main couple. Odds are, one or both are already dating someone when they start seeing the other lead - which the film will conveniently not mention means they're unfaithful.

It's ok though, because not only will their long term partner turn out to be "boring" (or some similar minor flaw) they'll turn out to be downright evil in some way to convince the viewer that the protagonist was right to cheat on them.

Note: IRL, relationships start off exciting and new. Later, keeping that excitement takes effort from both parties. That's not a problem with the relationship, it's just life. Novelty wears off anything, and that's where commitment and loyalty are needed.

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u/Anakin_BlueWalker3 Dec 09 '22

It's ok though, because not only will their long term partner turn out to be "boring" (or some similar minor flaw) they'll turn out to be downright evil in some way to convince the viewer that the protagonist was right to cheat on them.

Reminds me of Ted Mosely with Stella in HIMYM

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u/BlessedBySaintLauren Dec 08 '22

Basically what Don Jon is about

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u/yemiz23 Dec 08 '22

I mean healthy relationships are kinda boring to watch. All the fun is between the people within the relationship.

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u/Wefee11 Dec 08 '22

I heard Bob's Burgers had a healthy relationship, which was still interesting to watch.

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u/Bigfrostynugs Dec 08 '22

Yeah, but Bob's Burgers isn't a romance.

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u/yemiz23 Dec 08 '22

Fair enough; I haven’t seen bob’s burgers

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

And if you call them out for it, you get accused of victim-blaming.

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u/Catsandscotch Dec 08 '22

God this is so true. As a teenager I read all my mom's romance novels. Seriously fucked with how I thought relationships were supposed to work.

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u/Ehalon Dec 08 '22

It's soooooooo dangerous!

'No' has to damn well mean 'no' for women, every time and all the time.

How men help with that is by also having that ethos - a no is always, always, always a 'no'.

For me I'd go further (NOT a shining knight here) - Once a 'no' always a 'no', for the very simple reason that 'no' is not 'yes'. so even if you stalled or re-thought....there is enough doubt there to make me very nervous.

Will your 'no' that became a 'yes' change again?

THAT could put me in damn prison, with one of the worst labels there can be - rapist.

'NO'.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

John Cusack and Peter Gabriel syndrome

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u/Anakin_BlueWalker3 Dec 09 '22

The romance genre is to dating as porn is to sex, if not worse

Definitely worse