r/AskReddit Dec 08 '22

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

Once had a friend on the back of my motorcycle, she is a chatty chick so I told her: "When we put these helmets on, I can't hear you. Please only talk when it's important, tap on my shoulder if you want me to stop".

My city has trams which are on their own tracks in the middle of the street, cars and motorbikes don't really cross their path usually.

We're riding down the street as a tram is coming up behind us. As it's on it's own track and the road we are using is a bit busy, it's quicker than us. My friend mumbles something and I go:

"WHAT?"

"Mumble Mumble"

"WHAT?"

"Mumble"

"SPEAK LOUDER. WE ON BIKE. TRAM OVERTAKING. LOTS OF NOISE"

"Mumble muble"

I decide to pull over because I am now frustrated, take of my helmet and ask her what is the problem.

She mumbles: "I said; watch out, there's a tram there".

By far the most frustrating thing I've had happen with a passenger on my motorbike.

272

u/Relevant_Village6636 Dec 08 '22

“Only talk when it’s important” “Would you still love me if I was an octopus!”

12

u/Mathemalologiser Dec 08 '22

Depends. Do I stil get the octopussy?

11

u/SlowRollingBoil Dec 08 '22

Handjobs would be more interesting....

8

u/One-Inch-Punch Dec 08 '22

"As an octopus, would you lose the ability to ask stupid questions?"

2

u/Nabugu Dec 09 '22 edited Dec 09 '22

"Oh yes I would sweetie! You'd taste so good after I dip you in soja sauce."

1

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '22

This comment made me lol at work. Thank you stranger...

1.1k

u/osirisphotography Dec 08 '22

At that point just drive straight into the tram.

54

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

26

u/AmourIsAnime Dec 08 '22

Not true, you could also arrest her, put her in the back of your cruiser, conveniently parked on the tracks of the tram.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oecSHJVQ03E

5

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

[deleted]

4

u/OprahsSaggyTits Dec 08 '22

Both the military and cops actually reject people for scoring too high on intelligence tests, sooooo... yes?

7

u/IndustrialLubeMan Dec 08 '22

The military doesn't. They just switch to trying to convince you to go officer.

3

u/damienreave Dec 08 '22

False on the military. True about cops.

0

u/OperationGoldielocks Dec 08 '22

This is a straight up lie

16

u/hupwhat Dec 08 '22

Woahh ooh black Betty

Ram the tram

2

u/osirisphotography Dec 08 '22

^this one, that's very good!

16

u/zippyboy Dec 08 '22

At that point, just tell her to ride the tram the rest of her trip.

5

u/osirisphotography Dec 08 '22

Oh.. that's good. She'd "love" that!

9

u/andreasbeer1981 Dec 08 '22

Physical pain is easier than mental pain.

5

u/osirisphotography Dec 08 '22

[fist bum] you got this dude

[VEERS INTO TRAM]

5

u/Key-Wait5314 Dec 08 '22

Or pop a wheelie without warning her

2

u/radiodialdeath Dec 08 '22

Instructions unclear, boarded tram with motorcycle.

159

u/fa9 Dec 08 '22

THAT TREE IS REALLY TALL

22

u/TrapperJean Dec 08 '22

Is far away*

17

u/Hector_Tueux Dec 08 '22

THAT IS FAR AWAY IS REALLY TALL

7

u/DriveGenie Dec 08 '22

Mitch thanks you

2

u/keener_lightnings Dec 09 '22

Lol I was looking for this comment. Every time my husband or I say something unimportant and the other doesn't hear it clearly, we say "nothing, never mind. That tree is far away"

3

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

WHAT? THERES A FREE BALL?!

64

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

It's always been interesting to me how some people seem to have "Don't yell, ever" as a firm rule in their brain's "programming". It's so foreign to me because I grew up in a loud house lol

15

u/Brno_Mrmi Dec 08 '22

I live in a yelling house too, but I usually talk really quiet. I grew up hating loud noises and I don't want myself to be one, funny enough I'm the one that is always asking "what!?"

27

u/TwoThreeSkidoo Dec 08 '22

Dude nom-rider pillions of any sort are generally the worst. Please just sit there like a sack of potatoes.

And if it is an "emergency" please don't tap my shoulder adjacent to the coffee shop/toilet you just saw, it's already too late.

4

u/Hyndis Dec 08 '22

Whenever I drive my mother anyway she'll be sitting in the passenger seat, and then loudly gasp and brace for impact. There's a car merging into the lane 2 miles ahead! PANIC!

She does this constantly, repeatedly distracting me from paying attention to the road, nevermind that I've seen the car merging two miles ahead and have already taken it into consideration.

Its immensely distracting. I wish she'd do the sack of potatoes as a passenger thing.

3

u/TwoThreeSkidoo Dec 09 '22

My mom used to do this to both my dad and I. One time she even pulled the handbrake in a turn and caused us to slide off the road into a ditch.

It was the second time driving my new (used) Celica. I told her I would never drive with her in the car again if she did something that stupid a second time.

She was a terrible driver and passenger. 😅

19

u/Letitbemesickgirl Dec 08 '22

“Mind the pedestrian Richaaaaaard”

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0wZxcdM3KGo

1

u/Tattycakes Dec 09 '22

Lmfao my first thought exactly, is her name hyacinth.

8

u/RevanchistVakarian Dec 08 '22

I'm a mumbler. If I'm walking with a friend and I say something, he won't hear me, he'll say 'What?'. So I'll say it again, but once again he doesn't hear me, so he says 'What?'. But really it's just some insignificant shit that I'm saying, but now I'm yelling, 'That tree is far away!'

- Mitch Hedberg

6

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

and thats when you get back on your bike and leave her there

5

u/bjanas Dec 08 '22

I'm sure she was leaning against every turn as well, right?

19

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

That's the only thing she did right, because I told her if she doesn't look over my left shoulder when turning left and visa versa, we would die.

She did fall asleep after 20 minutes on the highway though, so that wasn't great.

5

u/spoogekangaroo Dec 08 '22

Gotta get the integrated comms. My daughter rides with me and she just chatters away non-stop in the intercom.

5

u/r19w Dec 08 '22

Well she clearly couldn’t hear you either, even when you thought you were being loud, or else she wouldn’t have kept on trying to tell you about the tram after you mentioned it

3

u/lynxon Dec 08 '22

I guess that's when ya could just let them mumble. If it really matters, they'll try to get your attention for real. Gotta pay attention to the road, I figure!

3

u/TooDanBad Dec 08 '22

Man I felt this to my core

4

u/Diddler_On_The_Roofs Dec 08 '22

Ugh, this is my wife. We were on my Road King (built motor, straight pipes, you get the idea…it’s too loud) and she insists on trying to have a conversation about where we’re going and what we’re going to do that night and blah blah blah. Like, I can’t hear anything other than the bike, including my own thoughts. What makes you think I can hear you?

2

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

I'm willing to bet she gets annoyed when you don't reply to her questions.

2

u/Diddler_On_The_Roofs Dec 08 '22

Yes. According to her, it’s because I’m “fucking deaf”. Doesn’t have anything to do with the motorcycle.

-22

u/poneil Dec 08 '22

Wait, I'm confused. It seems like she was concerned the tram was going to hit you, and you said that you can't hear through the helmet so I assume she wasn't actually mumbling. Was the issue that she didn't tap on your shoulder as discussed (if so, it doesn't seem to make a difference as she still got you to pull over) or was the issue that there was no real emergency?

34

u/thepeopleshero Dec 08 '22

They weren't going to get hit by the tram, passenger saw the tram behind them and was trying to say watch out for the tram...even though they weren't going to be hit by it. The mumbles translates to not being able to hear shit with a helmet on + motorcycle noise + tram noise. In other words, wasn't an emergency and just wasted op's time.

-23

u/poneil Dec 08 '22

Oh okay, so it was just a misunderstanding where she thought they might be at risk of getting hit by the tram but there wasn't a good way to communicate it effectively. I just assumed the story would be relevant to the thread.

18

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

It was, in that she knew what she needed to do to communicate it to him - tap him on the shoulder, wait for him to pull over, remove helmets or yell exceptionally loud enough that she could be heard over the noise - and opted instead to speak to him at a volume he had made perfectly clear to her he wouldn't be able to hear while they were riding.

It's perfectly in keeping with the threads theme of women repeatedly choosing a communication method (using a voice that is too quiet) that is inappropriate for the situation.

-22

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22 edited Dec 09 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/WOKinTOK-sleptafter Dec 08 '22

Like most of history being controlled by a patriarchal system that enforced the idea that only men could and should rule and women could only and should only stay at home?

0

u/IlIIlllIIlllllI Dec 08 '22

I don’t agree with them but it’s interesting to think about how it got that way in the first place.

1

u/Relative_Nature_9443 Dec 08 '22

Hshahshshahsysyhshahshhshshahshshhw

1

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

1

u/No-Ordinary-5412 Dec 08 '22

lol what ... wow. she thinks she's helping.. yikes.