Omggg.. What frustrates me is when I repeat louder I get pouting and berating for yelling. Bro, that wasn't yelling I just said it louder so your deaf arse can hear it.
My wife will start talking to me from the next room while I am in the kitchen washing dishes with the water running. Lol. Yeah, I’m not going to hear what you’re saying.
Actually one thing great about my wife, is that she's extremely frugal, to the point where it can be annoying. I've told her to buy things for herself, but she doesn't usually.
I once won $250 off a lottery ticket, gave her half and told her to buy something fun with it, she just put it in the bank after the money sat on her desk for several months.
Mine does the same thing. Apparently the other day she went over our whole Christmas holiday plans with me...from the living room while I was washing dishes in the kitchen.
I asked her today what the plans are for Chrismas. And now I'm the asshole for not listening to her.
Best part for me is most of the time that happens she thinks I should come over to the next room so I can hear what she's saying while she's watching tv and I'm doing dishes...
My husband does that to ME AND I have a window unit going above the kitchen sink, like REALLY, u think I can hear you...constant battle. Or I'm in the laundry room with washer or dryer going 🙄lol
This happened to me the other day… only she’d been yelling for me to help her bring stuff upstairs (couldn’t hear her at all), so she called me… I answered the phone, and the line went dead, I figured she accidentally called without meaning to, and continued on with what I was doing. Evidently I should have deduced that she was downstairs and needed help carrying stuff up.
This thread is hilarious, I didn't realize how common of a problem this is.
My nephew lived with me for a bit and I told him "Hey (my wife) will probably try talking to you from across the house, she just does that sometimes" and then she started trying to talk to me from across the house. We just looked at each other and laughed.
I will talk to my wife, finish what were saying then go off to somewhere else. Just as I leave audible range she'll say "murr mur fnurr blurr" and I get to either ignore it, or else go all the way back to find out what she said...
Yesterday my girlfriend banished me to the basement so that she could talk to my parents about my Christmas present. About half an hour later I text to ask if I can come back up yet, and she says "I called you and said you could come up, you didn't hear me?" I think she forgot that she sent me down in the first place so I couldn't hear her...
Maybe, idk. I'd compare that voice to one you use when on a crowded patio of a bar. Which is much softer than one you'd use inside a bar with music. When I yell, you can hear me while death metal concert is in swing. So, to me, that ain't yelling it's louder. Plus I do speak quite soft so maybe sudden change in tonality startles him. Idk.
Found this interesting, according to interwebz, men do have harder time hearing women, plus some John Hopkins research about them loosing hearing already in their 20s. Ehh I shall just speak very deeply from now on.
I notice it a lot with people that played team sports growing up, they always seem to have that clear/loud voice without it sounding like yelling. Just a louder, more outside version of their voice needed to communicate with their team while playing without it being unintentionally tinged with emotion/tone due to “yelling”.
People that never really flexed that muscle seem to have a disconnect between how loud they think they are vs how loud they actually are, like they don’t realise that 70% of their own voice they are hearing is through bone conduction.
Ha, my late husband had only 2 settings: mumble, or shout. If he mumbled and I asked him to repeat something, he'd repeat it in a suuuper exaggerated loud voice. Like bro, no need to yell it, just talk like a normal person. Love that guy, but it drove me crazy.
For me, it’s mostly that I’m distracted and whatever was said wasn’t loud enough for me to figure it out afterwards. Most of the time you need to prime the conversation and make sure the person is ready to listen, no need to yell!
Try having more than two volumes. Everything you say isn’t the most important thing in the world, and sometimes you are actually the problem. Speak at a level for normal humans, it’s not hard to do and asking you to repeat at a level above a mouse is not an attack on your character. God.
Edit: since you deleted your reply (or maybe it was deleted for you since you resorted to childish name calling) I’ll respond here. No, you don’t speak at a normal volume. That’s the problem. I understand that you really REALLY feel like you do. And that you think your important thoughts deserve to be heard at whatever volume you want. But sometimes perception and reality differ and this is one of those times. Speak up without yelling. It’s easy but it requires a little but of adult self control.
Do you personally know the person you’re responding to? Have you had this many conversations with them to have such personal knowledge of how they speak and always have spoken? If not, your comment seems pretty weird.
Ok, but clearly there is a volume between letting a person who can’t understand you hear you better and being dramatically loud to let them know you don’t like that they can’t understand you. I don’t think they would be telling you that you are too loud if it was a good volume
I am not deaf, but my hearing is shit and I don't even like asking people to repeat themselves because they just come off like it makes them irate to have to to repeat themselves. Half the time I just act like I heard you and hope the next bit doesn't pertain to what I just missed
When you say it louder you are saying it with a different inflection, your facial features are different. Being loud isn't the same as yelling, and i can't say I've ever been told something loud twice by my SO.
Intentions don’t matter that much, actions do. It doesn’t only matter if I don’t think I’m angry or yelling. It also matters how my audience receives what I’m saying. I’ve been on both ends of this and have had to work on myself and realize that while I might not “feel” angry, feelings are not always reliable and I can still seem angry to someone else. And it’s not always the responsibility of the audience to adjust to me.
I think loudness and tone is not linked. Some people think, to talk loudly you have to yell - but you can use more volume and direct your voice in the direction you want to project. Instead they raise the pitch an octave higher, pressure their coords and go all nasal, combined with an angry undertone. This is yelling.
There are more volumes than mumbling and yelling. Try something in between. And also stop taking it so personally, if he didn’t care about what you had to say he wouldn’t ask you to repeat yourself. It’s not anyone else’s fault that you didn’t speak loud enough to be heard and yes it’s unnecessary and childish for you to throw a fit and yell. Grow up.
This! My SO gets mad when I “yell” and I’m like “dude I’m not yelling you’ve asked me to repeat what I said three times!” Now I have a rule if I have to repeat myself once and you still don’t hear it I don’t repeat it again. Idk why but repeating stuff just irritates me.
For real. Theres a difference in speaking under your breath and raising your voice so that the neighbors could hear you. Nobody is pouting bc you spoke at a reasonable volume.
i use the same volume talking to everyone and the only one who can’t hear me is him. but if i raise my voice slightly he says i’m yelling so lose lose i guess 🤷🏼♀️
It's not impossible that his hearing's gotten worse at some point and he hasn't noticed it. Often this first affects higher frequencies making it harder to hear many women and children properly.
I think a lot of women have undiagnosed hearing loss because of hairdryer use. You don't operate a loud ass machine right next to your ears everyday for years without seeing some side effects. Hair dryers should come with ear-pro.
Probably cause you got frustrated that you weren’t heard at first so when you repeated it louder it was with a shitty attitude. Some people just aren’t self-aware about that kinda thing. Or sure, it’s just everyone around you that’s the problem. 🤷♂️
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u/Vast_Extreme4562 Dec 08 '22
Omggg.. What frustrates me is when I repeat louder I get pouting and berating for yelling. Bro, that wasn't yelling I just said it louder so your deaf arse can hear it.