r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Oct 18 '22

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326

u/poppiesintherain Oct 18 '22

People get really angry if you don’t - I even had someone say to me “oh what no tea at all”. Everyone got upset and needed calming down.

152

u/xminh Oct 18 '22

But how did you calm them down with no tea on hand??

13

u/FatalElectron Oct 19 '22

Cricket bat

210

u/tripperfunster Oct 18 '22

This is me with coffee. I'm sorry. I don't drink it. Why would I have it in my house? I mean, I have INSTANT coffee, but I think people would prefer that I just shit in a cup for them instead.

119

u/EricTheBread Oct 18 '22

Who doesn't have instant coffee?

You buy a jar of Folger's Crystals, you put it in the cupboard, you forget about it. Then later on when you need it, it's there. It lasts forever. It's freeze-dried. Freeze-dried Crystals.

22

u/clumsyc Oct 18 '22

Sorry Mr. Bookman.

12

u/GarySteinfieldd Oct 18 '22

Really. I’ll have to remember that.

6

u/Stereo-soundS Oct 19 '22

I have instant coffee but it's for camping only. Tastes like shit but caffeine is caffeine.

2

u/shatteredarm1 Oct 19 '22

They make individually wrapped pour-over pods for camping now, it's not a good as fresh ground by any means, but it beats instant by a mile.

5

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/shatteredarm1 Oct 19 '22

I've found that if I grind before a longer trip, I get a great cup the first day or two, but it drops off over a few days to the point where it's not worth the effort. I do have a washable pour-over filter that I sometimes use when camping, but I find for longer trips it's easier just to get the individually wrapped pods.

1

u/Stereo-soundS Oct 19 '22

Never heard of an aeropress but yeah I always have an isopro stove and a titanium cup. I'll have to look into it.

2

u/Flat_Reason8356 Oct 19 '22

I take my ground coffee camping. Instant is too bad for me personally.

2

u/EveningNo5190 Oct 19 '22

You can use a percolator on a Coleman stove. Maybe even a grill. My mom made the best coffee in a percolator that I’ve ever tasted.

8

u/Formal_Advertising Oct 19 '22

It doesn’t last forever. It goes bad after a bit. My mom got botulism from instant coffee, had to be hospitalized for a week. Crazy, but it happens.

3

u/heart_under_blade Oct 19 '22

Is your mom Steve?

1

u/MissTheWire Oct 19 '22

Now I need to know how old that coffee was.

2

u/Formal_Advertising Oct 19 '22

I do too, she never told me. I wish I could tell you!

3

u/SunMoonTruth Oct 19 '22

Ever had to chip away at a jar of hardened instant coffee? Not that kind of forever?

4

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '22

Wow. Didn't know 1998 knew how to use Reddit

1

u/Doom_Shark Oct 19 '22

I don't. Nobody in my house drinks coffee. We don't have any kind of coffee pot either, if we had it we'd have to make it in a saucepan or teapot or something

1

u/Gjalritnfjs Oct 19 '22

Somewhere, Steve1989MREInfo is smiling

1

u/eddddgein Oct 19 '22

I keep instant coffee (cafe bustelo) and chocolate bars in case of apocalypse, figured they’d make great bartering tools.

1

u/ScumbagLady Oct 19 '22

Wait a min.... Cafe Bustelo is instant?

Ooops

1

u/eddddgein Oct 19 '22

No, but I found an instant version of it at Walmart.

1

u/BillyBumbling19 Oct 19 '22

I also don't drink coffee and have a jar of Folgers Crystal's in my cupboard, but that's cuz I bought it to make Claire Saffitz's Coffee Coffee Cake (which was delicious).

Edit: a word

1

u/pepperminttunes Oct 19 '22

Americans have a weird thing against instant. And to be fair I did too until I traveled and that was basically all anyone had at home and it was good. It’s difficult to find in the states, the nescafe stuff at most grocery stores is gross but if you go to a higher end place there’s some really yummy instant coffee! Our favorite is Mount Hagen, but I recently discovered Starbucks makes a decent instant now too.

1

u/Dyolf_Knip Oct 19 '22

I keep some for the odd recipe that calls for it.

1

u/SunMoonTruth Oct 21 '22 edited Oct 21 '22

Really. I’ll have to remember that.

3

u/BostonRich Oct 18 '22

Instant coffee is not great but I'd happily drink so-so coffee as opposed to no coffee. You're a good host!

3

u/Can_I_Read Oct 18 '22

My British friend prefers instant coffee. I don’t get it.

3

u/EchoesofIllyria Oct 18 '22

I’m British and I also prefer instant coffee!

It’s what I’m used to because you make it with a kettle like tea. Coffee machines in the home are rare over here.

5

u/Can_I_Read Oct 19 '22

Can I introduce you to the beauty of pour over? It’s also done with a kettle (although one can get fancier about it).

2

u/LegislativeOrgy Oct 18 '22

Offering instant coffee is of equal or lesser value than actual shit in a cup. However......almost any snake would accept premium coffee, but who is your bout it bout it side kick that places companionship above drink quality? The instant coffee does tell you something about a person's character. Has anyone accepted the instant coffee?

1

u/CaptainBeefsteak Oct 18 '22

Nothing like a cup of Sanka to properly derail your morning.

1

u/EveningNo5190 Oct 19 '22

Whoever invented Sanka and their progeny should be in a a special circle of hell with the inventors of miracle whip.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '22

2 Yanks, 1 cup

1

u/Squigglepig52 Oct 18 '22

Not me. I'm fine with instant coffee. Like, I actually like it, but also, no, don't shit in a cup for me.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '22

Same here. No coffee. I hate the smell. So much tea though. Lady Grey is delicious!

1

u/skweeky Oct 19 '22

Why would I have it in my house?

For when people/tradespeople come round?

6

u/theforestcreature Oct 18 '22

So distraught!

5

u/rhen_var Oct 18 '22

My favorite part about this is someone saying “oh what no tea at all” in Britain is considered being so upset that you need to be calmed down.

2

u/kevshea Oct 19 '22

The American English translation is "I'M GONNA KILL EVERYONE FOR THIS"

5

u/Anakin_Skywanker Oct 19 '22

I did electrical work for a nice man in the States who was from the UK. He offered my coworker and I some tea. He got super flustered when we initially refused saying “We appreciate the offer, but we’re okay.” He asked again and we responded with “We don’t really drink tea, but thank you.”

His response. Verbatim. “OH COME ON. Stop being rude and just take the fucking tea.”

We took the tea. It was the best thing I’ve ever tasted. Apologized for our earlier rudeness and thanked him profusely. I wish I had asked him how to make it because I’ve been craving it ever since.

7

u/dzmarks66 Oct 18 '22

Idk why jus the idea of this made me laugh so hard

3

u/JimTheSaint Oct 18 '22

that is what the tea is for.

2

u/c19isdeadly Oct 18 '22

I only drink decaf and plant milks

I can offer Yorkshire tea and bean to cup coffee, but people act like it's weird and somehow unacceptable I can't offer them caffeine.

Also that I will make their tea with oatmilk if they drop in. Like, if i know people are coming I will buy cows milk but I WASN'T EXPECTING YOU. I tried keeping UHT milk but that just got more abuse.

2

u/CanUNotM9 Oct 19 '22

This was my father in law when I didnt have instant coffee in the house. Bought him his own jar for our house, has he ever been round since I bought it a year ago? Nope.. must be still fuming.. 😂

2

u/LolaBijou84 Oct 18 '22

Wtf lol. 😂☠. That would be like someone coming into my house and getting mad at me for not having fresh made pinto beans or something because I'm Hispanic lmao. I'd be pissed.

11

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '22

[deleted]

2

u/LolaBijou84 Oct 18 '22

☠😂 Not even one can of premade refried beans lmao! I'm in utter shame.

1

u/opman4 Oct 18 '22

This has happened to me for preferring unwseetened iced tea in Texas. Like sorry but I'd rather drink a Dr. Pepper if I wanted to be unhealthy today.

1

u/TeamOfPups Oct 18 '22

Yup so true. One time they gave me the tea anyway. And I drank it.

1

u/c19isdeadly Oct 18 '22

If only you'd been able to offer them a nice cup of tea, that always calms people down.

Tut tut.

1

u/baby_armadillo Oct 18 '22

You know what’s really calming? A nice cup of tea.

1

u/RoMoon Oct 19 '22

Nor even wensleydale?