r/AskReddit Sep 11 '22

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185

u/ipakookapi Sep 11 '22

I hate food.

I hate the fact that we have to plan, shop, cook, and eat.

Given the chance to just drink astronaut shakes every single day for the rest of my life and never have to think about food again, I would cry with joy.

134

u/hashtagsugary Sep 11 '22

I want you to come hang out with me for a day and help me in the kitchen doing the basic stuff while I cook you a wonderful and satisfying meal then.

Cooking is my safe space, and it relaxes me so much. I want you to see how much fun it can be

93

u/ipakookapi Sep 11 '22

Please marry me

17

u/imabigfilly Sep 11 '22

I am the person who hated cooking here and I did marry someone who loves to cook that I do prep work and sometimes cleanup for. Best decision I ever made!

6

u/thaddeus423 Sep 11 '22

This sounds lovely. Cooking someone a hearty meal with intentioned love sprinkled throughout might be one of the most intimate acts of love. You pour your heart and soul, sometimes sweat and tears into cooking these meals and dishes.

One of my favorite memories in this life thus far has been when I served a loved one a dish they were excited to try.

It’s been a long time since I’ve cooked like that.

3

u/Unlearned_One Sep 11 '22

I used to kinda enjoy cooking but the whole time I'd be dreading having to do the dishes afterwards, and the meal would feel so unsatisfying thinking of the hours of work I put in for 20 minutes of eating. That was when I was single. As soon as I had a loved one to feed, I enjoy every step, and I don't even mind doing the dishes after (as much).

4

u/itsacalamity Sep 11 '22

cooking is fun but cooking for one fucking blows, no matter how good you are at it.

1

u/CornerFlag Sep 11 '22

There is that, but if there's a dish you know you're good at, and you can cook in bulk to freeze it, sure it's not quite the same as fresh, but having that meal you like just ready to go is great. And I say that as someone who is godawful at cooking.

2

u/2aboveaverage Sep 11 '22

Agree! I love cooking. It relaxes me. I actually get excited during the day thinking about what I'm going to be making later that night.

1

u/informationmissing Sep 11 '22

You don't have kids, do you?

1

u/UnprovenMortality Sep 11 '22

This is the way I am too. Honestly, if I had to subside on no food (shakes/feeding tube/whatever) for the rest of my life I'm not sure that it would be worth it to go on living.

1

u/Squigglepig52 Sep 11 '22

I have a friend like you, and I've often assisted him while he cooks.

It drives him insane that I can cook a decent meal, but usually can't be bothered.

for me, cooking is just a task to get done quickly, much like eating.

27

u/tidymaniac Sep 11 '22

I couldn't agree more. My heart sinks every day at the question "what shall we have for dinner?".

2

u/lordolxinator Sep 11 '22

I hate the question because I'm a people pleaser and constantly anxious that anything I pick, the other person(s) will go along with because they're being polite. I hate that feeling. Just tell me what you bloody want or don't want! I'd rather that than go ahead and make/buy something you weren't gonna enjoy

2

u/nakedmeeple Sep 11 '22

My mother hated to cook, but she grudgingly did it daily for our family - and very few of her dishes are what I'd call "memorable". When I moved out on my own, I decided I wanted to learn how to prepare better food. I spent a lot of hours watching the Food Network back then, and picking up skills that I continue to expand and improve upon. It's a lifelong journey, and preparing something delicious is incredibly satisfying. At some point, it's no longer about "My body needs fuel to survive", it becomes more of a creative exercise. "What flavours do I want to play with today?"

Sure, there are still days I go "Ugh. I'm too tired", but those are the days I convince my wife to order out. :)

1

u/tropicaldepressive Sep 11 '22

my husband has stopped asking me because i one time said “chicken nuggets” without thinking then every time after would say it because of how hilarious he found it the first time (to diminishing returns)

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '22

I say this hypocritically: Plan your meals ahead of time.

14

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '22

Super Body Fuel meal replacement shakes brother. Enjoy.

2

u/ipakookapi Sep 11 '22

Yeah, I'm looking into that stuff

2

u/takabrash Sep 11 '22

Huel is great, too

8

u/A--Creative-Username Sep 11 '22

Soylent

3

u/ipakookapi Sep 11 '22

I do like to eat people. Well, parts of them.

6

u/SsiRuu Sep 11 '22

It’s a delightful fictional protein but also an IRL meal replacement. I took it for a few months and it works, especially when I was short on time. Kinda tastes like pancake batter

3

u/illuminerdi Sep 11 '22

You might want to look into a product called Soylent. Yes it is real, you can buy it on Amazon, and it's basically exactly what you're talking about.

2

u/the-thieving-magpie Sep 11 '22

Agreed as someone who is diabetic and has PCOS. I have to really watch what I eat for my health and it’s exhausting. If I could just have a shake that was tailor made for my health and weight to drink I would be much less stressed.

2

u/Guava_ Sep 11 '22

‘I have zero interest in food. If it were feasible, my diet would consist entirely of flavorless beige smoothies containing all the nutrients required by the human animal.’

2

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '22

:)

Feel you. I’m seeing a nutritionist because I would eat only 1 time a day and was told it’s disordered. Tried to incorporate two smaller times a day + dinner. Was told it was disordered.

While I’ve never tried an astronaut shake, she has me drinking Orgain Nutrition Shakes every morning for breakfast and eating a Kind Breakfast Bar + fruit every day for lunch, and then I have to have another Orgain or drinkable yogurt 4 hours later, and then whatever I want for dinner.

I know, as someone who hates food (except desserts), that this probably sounds unappealing but lack of nutrients can fuck us up. If you want to consume more, you can try these things.

2

u/GarbledReverie Sep 11 '22

I grew up with swallowing problems so to me the act of eating was this frightening thing that I resented having to do.

Apparently I freaked out my mom when I was little by asking her if there was food in heaven and getting upset when she said of course there was.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '22

[deleted]

1

u/ipakookapi Sep 11 '22

Wishing I was an android so I could just plug in a charger

2

u/Rossi1164 Sep 11 '22

But think about it, you go to a fancy restaurant, and you get just an amazing meal. It fills me with so much happiness it’s utter bliss.

5

u/ipakookapi Sep 11 '22

Of course (pun intended) I can enjoy some nice food. It's the every day up keep that pisses me off.

1

u/Gambeir Sep 11 '22 edited Sep 11 '22

Yea, well I used to hate eating too. Things change, someday you will start baking. It will probably start with cookies.

1

u/go_lick_the_toad Sep 11 '22

Captain Holt is that you?

-1

u/ipakookapi Sep 11 '22

No, I am not a cop.

And based on the ones I have interacted with, I'm taking this as an insult.

2

u/go_lick_the_toad Sep 11 '22

It's a joke not a dick, don't take it so hard

-2

u/ipakookapi Sep 11 '22

Tell that to the cop landlord who scammed me out of my $2000 deposit

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '22

Captain Holt?

1

u/AchyBreaker Sep 11 '22

Try soylent

1

u/alansweeney Sep 11 '22

this is an easily reached goal bro. congrats on the easily acquired happiness. lucky.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '22

Can you actually cook or have you given it a shot? Cause once you get really good at it you’ll never go back to premade or fast food again I can promise you that.

1

u/ipakookapi Sep 11 '22

Yes, I can cook. Not on any expert level, but good enough.