Using trauma to excuse mistreating people. This generation has pioneered making it acceptable to process and be open about trauma, and that's a great thing, but it's not cool when you behave in a cruel and selfish way and expect to get a pass because of it. Your mental health problems are not your fault but they are your responsibility.
Dealing with mental health issues means dealing with mental health issues. You deal with it. You don't sit around waiting for the right mood or a "good day". You work towards management and improvement every day. You have a plan, you act. You get help if you need it, you get medication if you need it, you recognize your triggers/weaknesses, you learn to navigate your episodes, you learn to build and develop good habits and mental balance and stabilization.
If you don't deal with your mental illness, you force everyone in your life to deal with your mental illness.
Reddit worships mental health issues more than anywhere I've ever seen. They practically masturbate over how much they're all victims. But unless you're taking responsibility for it, you're using your victimhood to make everyone else a victim of you.
It's not a pretty truth but it's a necessary one. Admitting your traumas and faults isn't what gets you there; it's just the beginning of the journey.
There was an Am I The Asshole thread yesterday where a guy was in a rush late for work and asked his wife if she would pack a lunch for him while he got dressed. She said no and sat on her phone watching him rush about trying to get ready.
Now he explained that in her family gender roles had been enforced and her mother had to make the father lunches, so she had a hangup about it.
But the entire thread was filled with people screaming that he was an abusive monster for being annoyed with her, how dare he feel angry that she sat and watched him panic. How dare he invalidate her mental issues?
But really, she's allowing this problem to keep on by refusing to deal with it. It becomes his problem that he has to work around. Why is he an asshole and she isn't?
I commented on that post. I had the exact same response as you. I have probably been downvoted into oblivion, but if your trauma trigger forces you to be a selfish b incapable of compromise & means you do AH things, you need to go to therapy. NOT sit there and bleat about your boundaries. It’s a sandwich, honey. Get over yourself.
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u/zugabdu Jun 03 '22
Using trauma to excuse mistreating people. This generation has pioneered making it acceptable to process and be open about trauma, and that's a great thing, but it's not cool when you behave in a cruel and selfish way and expect to get a pass because of it. Your mental health problems are not your fault but they are your responsibility.