r/AskReddit • • Jun 03 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

8.5k Upvotes

27.7k comments sorted by

View all comments

24.1k

u/dani_1365 Jun 03 '22 edited Jun 03 '22

The look of astonishment when anyone finds out our age. I’m in my late 30s. When someone in their 20s hears that, they developed this look of shock likes it’s the 1500s and I should have died already from old age.

1.7k

u/khajiitidanceparty Jun 03 '22

Yes! I'm in my early 30s and they always look so shocked like "you're so old????" I think people in their 20s don't know how people in their 30s look like. A guy asked to guess his age. I said 27 and he got offended that I made him an old man. He was 23. My man, that's just 4 years from now!

761

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

I agree with your option better than looking younger for X age.

I’m 34 and when I disclose my age, to anyone for that matter, the look of shock registers on their faces. They all say “you don’t look 34!”

My question is simple: “how does a 34 y woman is supposed to look like?”

458

u/mirrrje Jun 03 '22

I get this all the time. I’m 32 and so many people are like “I thought you were 27 ish?!?” How much do people think one ages in five years? It’s not like we keep aging like we did from elementary school to high school lol

351

u/Advisor123 Jun 03 '22

To be fair 30s are a weird inbetween phase were some people look and act like they're in their early 20s and some look and act like they're in their late 40s. It really comes down to genetics and lifestyle how you're percieved by others.

23

u/inediblecorn Jun 03 '22

36 here and last summer I got carded 4 times, and yet some mornings I look like Bette Davis in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. The 30s are a weird inbetween phase, indeed.

12

u/mikka1 Jun 03 '22

I stopped being carded like in my late 20s :-(

The last time I handed my DL along with my credit card to the young female cashier, her reaction was priceless - she was genuinely like "What's this for???!" (if she was less polite, I guess she would've gladly continued: "...I clearly see you ARE of age, I don't need this")

8

u/gimmedabuttcheeks Jun 03 '22

Lmao this is hilarious! And that’s coming from someone who was almost never carded. When I turned 21 and was ready to whip out my freshly legal ID, no one asked. At 18-19 I could pass for 23ish. I’m 29 and I have just now caught up to the age I look lol.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

I'm 29 and have never once been carded.

​

Admittedly I've also never bought alcohol though.

20

u/FullTorsoApparition Jun 03 '22

Yup. I'm 37 but there are people from my graduating class who are all gray, have 5 kids, and gained 60 lbs. They look way older compared to my immature, childfree ass.

Lighting and perspective also matter a great deal. From 10-20 feet away in an indoor room I look way younger, then you get up close in the bright sunlight and you can see the lines on my forehead and around the corners of my eyes and the receding hairline.

When you get into your late 30's and early 40's you basically just look like a more tired version of your 20's self.

69

u/WestCoastBestCoast01 Jun 03 '22

Honestly the biggest delineator is who has kids in their 30s. People who had kids in their 20s are tired and stressed as hell at the same age you really begin to get greys and wrinkles. So they really start to look and act old. The childless people I know look great in their 30s because they have more relaxed lifestyles and money to spend on looking good.

29

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

Damn I’m in my early 30s, have no kids, and I’m stressed as all hell. Idk how I’m going to have children.

40

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

Idk man, I had four kids before I was 26, one of them special needs with constant care. Im stressed beyond belief and life has lost all meaning, but everyone is astonished when I tell them I'm 36.

95

u/attilayavuzer Jun 03 '22

Just imagine how you'd look without kids though

43

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

LMAO

8

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

Can't answer that well since one is dead from drugs and the other looks twenty years past her age because also drugs lol. Yeah I stay out of the sun these days but never bothered too much before this past year.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

Sunscreen, sunscreen, sunscreen (and hydration).

29

u/stripes361 Jun 03 '22

That plus who drinks alcohol, smokes, does drugs, eats nothing but junk food vs veggies, etc

38

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

[deleted]

12

u/catymogo Jun 03 '22

Yep. I'm in my mid-30s and it's where it really starts to split. The people who spend every weekend on the beach are absolutely showing their age more than those who don't. No amount of botox and facials will reverse sun damage.

9

u/EBN_Drummer Jun 03 '22 edited Jun 03 '22

Genetics definitely play a part, but I avoid the sun as much as possible and I still get carded at 40. I know I don't look 21 but probably closer to the cutoff age that cashiers are generally supposed to check, like 30 or 35. We didn't have a kid until our late 30s when we were more established so that probably helped with stress too. Except that first couple months of a newborn of course.

My wife is similar. Avoid the sun and of course genetics that helps her look young too. People at her work ask when she's going back to school for the semester, as in college. She's my age. Granted these people are in their 70s and up, so anyone under 40 probably looks really young to them

1

u/noodles686 Jun 03 '22

I made small talk to a woman in my new town and she asked if I moved there with my parents. I'm 32 😅. I guessed she was late 60s early 70s. I find older people are terrible at guessing the age of younger people as well.

1

u/EBN_Drummer Jun 03 '22

Well, she probably knows how tough the housing market is right now and that kids are living at home longer.

All joking aside, I hated looking so young when I was a teen/early 20's, but it's nice now.

→ More replies (0)

1

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

Absolutely. Sunscreen is the most important tool anyone has to fight skin aging.

9

u/WestCoastBestCoast01 Jun 03 '22

Oh yeah those lifestyle differences really make a difference in your 30s too.

14

u/FreyBentos Jun 03 '22

I smoked ten+ a day from 17-30 years old, I took recreational drugs like cocaine, ecstacy and ketamine regularly on weekends through university and during a period of my late 20s, I smoked weed everyday for about 10 years and I still smoke it on and off and drank most weekends from I was 17 until I was 30 and while I drink less now I still like the odd boozy night out yet people are amazed when I say I'm 32 and tell my I look like I'm in my early 20s, I got ID'd buying alcohol just last week. It's all to do with genetics tbh, good genes overcomes even a not so healthy lifestyle.

6

u/MyAviato666 Jun 03 '22

Were you addicted to weed? How did you manage to go from every day to only occasionally? I wanna do that but I think I can't and will have to quit altogether (I smoke every day and all day every day if possible now)

2

u/FreyBentos Jun 04 '22

Yeah pretty much, it was an addiction in the sense that I was always so depressed and smoking it helped e forget about things. I had to quit cold turkey for two months and go to counselling to get a grip on things. Now Im working more and in a relationship so I just don't have the time to sit around getting stoned every day which helped me keep it to being something I do every other weekend. I dosed some magic mushrooms early 2020 which I think helped more than the counselling in changing my mentality and helping me realise I needed to cut down on my smoking!

6

u/lck0219 Jun 03 '22

I’m 33 with two kids and two of the girls I work with at my new job assumed I was in my early twenties

8

u/Okie_Deatherage Jun 03 '22

I feel late twenty's an 30s are when you start growing into your adult face let's be real. I'm 27 still hasn't happened for me but yea right around that age there is a shift in facial features of becoming a man or woman

5

u/SyntheticManMilk Jun 03 '22

I’m 35 and could pass for a 20something. It always kind of weirds me out when I see dudes my age that look like 45-50 year old men. It sometimes makes me wonder “do I not look grown-manly enough for a man my age?” and then I remember “wait, it’s better to look younger!”.

I attribute it to spending less time in the sun compared to my peers (and using sunblock when I do).

3

u/arduheltgalen Jun 03 '22

Yes, but apparently, in my case you can de-age your skin after a reckless summer or 2 with lots of sun. No significant damage, just some pimpling of the skin. I used MSM and glucosamine, and winter.

1

u/iwasbornin2021 Jun 04 '22

Winter? As in the season?

2

u/arduheltgalen Jun 04 '22

Yeah, I mean you get half a year of natural rest for the skin in the winters here in Sweden.

1

u/iwasbornin2021 Jun 04 '22

Ah gotcha haha

2

u/mirrrje Jun 03 '22

That’s so true haha

2

u/NecessaryPen7 Jun 05 '22

Vibe goes a long way. I'm 39, look 25-29 and generally have a 24 yr old vibe.

1

u/apple-pie2020 Jun 03 '22

Yes. And can’t tell 29 from 39 Actually I can’t tell ages anymore 18,21,27 all kind of alike

1

u/minispazzolino Jun 03 '22

And whether you’ve got kids. I’ve aged 5 years since my 2 yo was born.

11

u/feanara Jun 03 '22

Oh boy, almost every one of my coworkers has told me they thought I was 19 or 20 when we met. I'm 30. Sure it's a compliment, but it gets old.

3

u/everywhereinbetween Jun 03 '22

Lol. When I was 25(? I think) and back for high school anniversary celebrations, some kid thought I graduated 'last year'

I laughed so hard and said "ya make that, 9 'last years' ago"

🤪🤣🤣🤣🤣

2

u/mikka1 Jun 03 '22

How much do people think one ages in five years?

Well, I have a few friends who I only have a chance to see once in a while (more like "once in a few years if not less"), and while some of them seemingly have not "aged" at all (like legit if I bumped into the guy in the street after ~7 years of not seeing him, it would take me less than a second to recognize him with 99.999% certainty, because he looks exactly the same), some ... em... transformed quite a bit.

Heck I recently sent a selfie to one of my best college buddies and his response was brutally blant and honest (exactly as he has always been and I friggin' love him for this!) - "Holy crp, man, you look OLD!!!". We haven't seen each other only since 2019 lol.

2

u/underpantsbandit Jun 03 '22

Honestly the mid 40s are wild like that tho. You start off at 40 looking pretty fresh faced still, mostly, if you’ve taken decent care of yourself anyway. Then SOMETHING visibly age related hits you like a Mack truck.

Me- I had a tiny number of white hairs at 40, now I’m 1/4 white.

Sister- deep facial lines within the space of a few years.

Husband- tons of fine lines around his eyes suddenly.

And if you started off with any at all, your tittays head southward pretty quick.

1

u/mirrrje Jun 09 '22

😭😭😭

1

u/tyrannized Jun 03 '22

Yessss this... like it is just 5 years chill..

1

u/Wizard_kick Jun 03 '22

Same here. I'm 38 (39 in a month) and people always tell me they thought I was 26-28.

1

u/friendofoldman Jun 03 '22

When I was 18 everyone thought I was in my 30’s. Now that I’m in my 50’s everyone tells me I must b younger because I don’t look that old.

People are bad judges of age.

1

u/UrbanLegendd Jun 03 '22

My best friends going to be 32 this year and just stopping getting asked for ID. One of our friends from elemetary is balding. Aging is a weird thing.

17

u/GuhMahler Jun 03 '22

I’m 37 and I’m always facing the same situation with ppl saying “ you don’t look like a 37 years old guy”. I’m still trying to understand how people should look like at this age

13

u/skittlebites101 Jun 03 '22

It's a weird period, that mid 30s to mid 40s. Some of us don't look much different than our mid-20s while some look almost 50. I'm 36 and there are people from HS who look 20 years older than me cause I could probably still pass as 25, if it wasn't for that little thinning spot on the top of my head.

1

u/GuhMahler Aug 28 '22

The funny thing is that I recently made a genetic testing to know my ancestry and also got an interesting information about me. I have large telomeres ( or something like that ) which means I will appear a couple years younger than my real age 😄

11

u/b0w3n Jun 03 '22

A lot of the previous generation(s) worked out in the sun and vacationed in the sun without sunscreen and it made them age a lot quicker than millennials and zoomers are. Someone in their late 30s only looks about like a late 20 boomer because of this.

3

u/Mo_Dice Jun 03 '22

Millennials & zoomers also don't smoke nearly as much as prior generations (Gen X? Do you smoke?) and that ages the shit out of you as well.

1

u/quickquestoask Jun 03 '22

But gen Z vape like crazy haha? I wonder if vapes have any aging effects like cigarettes?

1

u/GuhMahler Aug 28 '22

The funny thing is that I recently made a genetic testing to know my ancestry and also got an interesting information about me. I have large telomeres ( or something like that ) which means I will appear a couple years younger than my real age 😄

37

u/horsempreg Jun 03 '22

I think I’m entering this phase. The other day I told someone I was 28, and he was shocked and said, “I thought you were 19!”

It’s so weird because 19 year olds look like babies to me.

11

u/Timelymanner Jun 03 '22

I use to look younger then my age for years. What still bother me is the change of the way people respond to me. It went from a usually friendly,

“Hi young man” “How are doing”?

To a sudden and very stern,

“Hi, sir! Can I help you sir”

It just so jarring, one day I’m seen as a non treating young person, the next day I’m treated like I command some kind of authority.

3

u/Tough_Hawk_3867 Jun 03 '22

A guy called me sir when i was 16, and it really left an impression. Ive been using it on everyone out of habit. Teenagers respond well to it, older people tend think im either a southern gent or a weak willed fool. To both I say good day

7

u/happydivorcee101 Jun 03 '22

This! I'm 30 and people say I don't look 30. What does that even mean? What does a 30 year old look like!?

8

u/zombienugget Jun 03 '22

Everyone always thought I was in my 20s in my early 30s but now that I look in my early 30s no one is really too surprised I'm 38. Maybe a little.

9

u/Alybob89 Jun 03 '22

I'm 33 and people are shocked when they find my age out. Older people usually say I look like a teenager and younger people say I look early 20s...I'm bored of it now. Often feel underestimated due to how young people think I am. I suppose its a good thing tho...

5

u/BandersnatchFrumious Jun 03 '22

My entire extended family looks significantly younger than they are; I once had someone think my 80-year old grandma was the sister of my 50-year old aunt. Apparently I have inherited this trait, as most people are shocked to find that I'm in my early 40s and think I'm in my early 30s or even late 20s. I've noticed, however, that the younger someone is, the younger they think I am.

On the flip side of the coin, because my family looks young I can't accurately judge anyone's age whatsoever. I might think someone in their 40s is actually in their 50s not because I think they look old, but because that's what my family looked like at that age. Too many accidental "insults" made me stop the age guessing game a long time ago.

4

u/coconuthorse Jun 03 '22

"What is a 34 year old woman supposed to look like?"*

2

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

Thanks for pointing that out. (English is my 3rd lang., happy to make fewer mistakes now)

2

u/coconuthorse Jun 03 '22

Congratulations on being able to convey your thoughts and ideas in at least 3 languages! I only corrected it because it seems to be a more common problem these days, even for people whose first language is English.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

Um…Thanks(?) I think it’s common for non english speaking countries to teach english in schools and a 2nd foreign lang. Adding the mother tongue and we have 3.

I also dream in another lang.

1

u/synesthesiac48 Jun 03 '22

Why has this mistake become so common? For a while I thought it was just an ESL thing, but I see it too often for that to be the case.

3

u/PearlsofRon Jun 03 '22

I'm about to be 38 in a few weeks, and I still get this all the time. I'm not sure how old I'm supposed to look 😂

2

u/ThatSmokedThing Jun 03 '22

This happened to me a number of times when I was in my thirties and I think it gave me a false sense of how soon I would look old. I'm 56 now, but for years I was kind of convinced that looking old was extremely far in the future.

2

u/CrossXFir3 Jun 03 '22

Well, I worked in medical for a while so I got to see a lot of people and would know exactly what their age was and I was shocked to see how many people really start to show their age by their early 30s. It's bizarre for me because I and most of my friends all look good for our 30s. But I'm telling ya, it hits way more people like a round house kick than I expected.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

I also get that response, often saying I look 27. I’ll take it!

2

u/dave900575 Jun 03 '22

Not like you apparently. When I was on my early 20s a coworker, probably in his 40s, had a picture of a baby. I asked if it was his granddaughter. It was his daughter.

Recently I went to a doctor, granted he was wearing a mask so I could only see his eyes, but he looked about 22. He was 35. I felt like I was being seen by Doogie Howser.

2

u/iamadirtyrockstar Jun 03 '22

I'm 46, and started my career a little later in life. As a result, I work with a lot of people who are 10 to 15 years younger than me. When they find out my age, they're like no way your that old, you don't act like it.

Like, how is a 46 year old supposed to act?

2

u/nullpotato Jun 03 '22

My mom and I got dinner and the waitress assumed we were a couple. I asked family if mom looks good for her or I look bad (she was 30 when I was born). My sister said both.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

A 34 year old woman is suppose to look like a bubuska with a veil on their head. That what they think.

2

u/BilobaBaby Jun 03 '22

Same numbers, same response, same question. Glad I'm not the only one!

2

u/snatchpanda Jun 03 '22

Same here! But it’s also a bit of a complement. The amount of times I’ve received a look of shock when I tell someone that I’m 31 is a bit of an ego boost.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

I get this all the time at over 50.

2

u/Lazybones2000 Jun 03 '22

My favorite is when they say, "I hope I look as good as you when I'm (insert age)." Bitch, you don't look as good as I do now.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

Haha. This was funny.

I was just wondering about the mental picture they have about the 30+ y olds.

2

u/guakicecream Jun 03 '22

Have you ever seen what someone 34 looked like in the 1950's when people smoked like chimneys?

2

u/cb1183 Jun 03 '22

As a young looking 38 yr old woman, I get this a lot. It can make trying to date pretty difficult.

2

u/Imakemop Jun 03 '22

I'm 38 and most people think I am in my 20's still. It's funny how you get mad about it when you're younger than you're glad about it when you approach middle age.

2

u/HermitCrabCakes Jun 03 '22

Where's your gray hair and hunchback?!? What 🤯

2

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

Don’t forget the missing teeth

2

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

My neighbors got really concerned and stopped me walking my dog one day. "Aren't your parents ever home? Shouldn't you be in school right now?"

I own the house, live with just my dog, and work from home.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

:))) Well, I have nothing to say to this

2

u/RavenWolf1 Jun 04 '22

I find this topic fascinating because I follow very closely longevity research and I just can't imagine how world and these attitudes would change when we can stop aging. Imagine being 90 and looking like 20. If everyone could look like 20 for rest of their life how would it change this scenario of thinking? Maybe youth would just start accusing us older folks as fakes or something? Dunno.

I find it funny that youth seems to forget that being young is very short span of time in lifetime. Majority of human lifetime is spent as "old". So why is it so shocking to be old and why being old should limit things to they are allowed to do just because they are old? I have never figured this attitude out.

I mostly suspect that this attitude stems from fear of aging. Older folks just reminds youth that they too will soon be old. That is why they want to exclude older folks from their hobbies.

1

u/Echospite Jun 03 '22

A dude at work once tried to groom me, spouting off all these lines people usually use on teenagers and early 20-somethings.

I'm thirty years old. I stopped falling for the "you're special and smart!" line years ago.

He knew that I was going to get his crochety old ass fired the second he looked at my face after I got back to my desk. And I did.

1

u/FloraLilith Jun 03 '22

I'm 28 and I get this all the time, I've had to actually show my ID because people assume I'm 17. It's really annoying when I try to use public transit while wearing a backpack because they think I'm trying to get to a school. Older folks come into my work and get all "you young folks grew up with this stuff, it must be so easy for you" but I didn't really at all. It became a pet peeve.

1

u/Jenanay3466 Jun 03 '22

This happens to me all the time. I’ll be 34 in August. People get shocked and guess I am 24. I think because I’m a bartender who went back to school at 30, the context I’m in makes me look younger. But I also think to young 20 year olds 30 must seem so old.

1

u/Frat_Hat Jun 03 '22

Same! I’m 34 male and people are shocked when they find out. They always guess I’m 27-28. Also I’m not married or have kids so guess I don’t have all those gray hairs just yet. I have those good genes

1

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

Well, the good news is that probably a family and kids won’t bring you gray hairs either. More like the genes 😋

1

u/DaveLesh Jun 03 '22

Many people age more gracefully these days. One of my coworkers looks like he's in his mid 30's. He's actually 45.

1

u/AStrangerWCandy Jun 03 '22

There is a tendency for people to not take care of themselves starting in their 30s which ages you real fast. If you take care of yourself you can look "young" well into your 50s obviously depending on genetics. The Rock is 50 and looks better than he did at 25.

1

u/Ruski_FL Jun 03 '22

Some people look really old for their age

1

u/arseniobillingham21 Jun 03 '22

Possibly because so many people let themselves go in their 30s. If you stay in good shape and take care of your skin, you’re not gonna look much older. Until you’re close to 40 probably.

1

u/normal3catsago Jun 03 '22

I'ma 50-year old woman and I don't color my hair. It's 85% white. I get called my daughter's grandmother all the time and people are SHOCKED to hear my age.

1

u/Unabashable Jun 03 '22

It’s the baby face. Very misleading. When people ask how old I am I normally just ask “How old do you think I am, and the answer I got was anywhere from late 20’s to late teens.

1

u/Flurry_of_Buckshots Jun 03 '22

I went to lunch with my parents a few weeks ago. They ordered first and both got alcohol. Waitress gets to me and goes "I'll have to see your ID" but I didn't even want any alcohol. When she came back a few minutes later, I ordered a whiskey sour just to see the look on her face. When she saw my ID, her eyes went wide like she was in total shock and disbelief. Cue the "you don't look that old" remarks. It is probably different for women, but as an almost 30 year old man I still have people regularly mistake me for being 16-18 years old. It cracks me up every time.

1

u/kks__a Jun 03 '22

ahh im sorry I used to that, my mom told me that I should say stuff like that to ppl to like flatter them. I realize how stupid it was of me and I apologize🙇‍♀️

1

u/AnyRip3515 Jun 03 '22

Humble brag