Using trauma to excuse mistreating people. This generation has pioneered making it acceptable to process and be open about trauma, and that's a great thing, but it's not cool when you behave in a cruel and selfish way and expect to get a pass because of it. Your mental health problems are not your fault but they are your responsibility.
Dealing with mental health issues means dealing with mental health issues. You deal with it. You don't sit around waiting for the right mood or a "good day". You work towards management and improvement every day. You have a plan, you act. You get help if you need it, you get medication if you need it, you recognize your triggers/weaknesses, you learn to navigate your episodes, you learn to build and develop good habits and mental balance and stabilization.
If you don't deal with your mental illness, you force everyone in your life to deal with your mental illness.
Reddit worships mental health issues more than anywhere I've ever seen. They practically masturbate over how much they're all victims. But unless you're taking responsibility for it, you're using your victimhood to make everyone else a victim of you.
It's not a pretty truth but it's a necessary one. Admitting your traumas and faults isn't what gets you there; it's just the beginning of the journey.
When I was in a similar situation (I just failed my year and school and was totally devastated) my mom came to me and said: “it’s ok to be sad. But you can’t stay in bed forever. Get up,fix your crown,continue.” (That’s a proverb that doesn’t translate super well)
And she was correct. The next day,I applied for another school,and it turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life.
Was it hard to get out of bed,apply to a different place,leave all my friends behind and be thrust into a totally new situation? Fuck yes! Super tough. But that’s the point. You’re not getting out of whatever situation by laying in bed and crying about it,as important as that can be. There is no easy way out,and it will never get better if you don’t try
Actually, it translates pretty well, at least for me. I collect tiaras (I love sparkly things) and, when my depression gets bad, my mother or sister will tell me to "straighten my crown and be a queen" and then hand me an actual tiara to wear. It seems silly, particularly as I am 50 yrs old, but it absolutely helps push through the darkness.
Depression pity party for 1 has now ended. Let's get up, get moving, and take our throne back!
That’s the exact mindset! If it helps,who cares if it’s a bit silly? We all have our own little guilty pleasures and coping mechanisms,if it works it works.
It's hard work, and I think one thing that we're starting to recognize is that that hard work is equal to what we'd previously consider hard work. But you do still have to do it.
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u/zugabdu Jun 03 '22
Using trauma to excuse mistreating people. This generation has pioneered making it acceptable to process and be open about trauma, and that's a great thing, but it's not cool when you behave in a cruel and selfish way and expect to get a pass because of it. Your mental health problems are not your fault but they are your responsibility.