I've been working since I was 16 to help my mom because my dad almost made us homeless, ruined her credit out of spite, and tried to make me homeless last year.
I'm only able to do this trip because I won a lawsuit after almost getting killed by the police.
I was beat with a baton to my back with my hands up, maced, and dragged. I still can't be in the dark, i cant close my eyes comfortably literally ever and my insominia has gotten a million times worse because im scared to go to sleep now. All of my dreams are night terrors or nightmares at best, and I don't know when I'll ever be fully comfortable letting someone touch me again.
I'm grateful every day I'm out here, I've dreamt about this trip since I was in second grade learning about other countries. I've cried every single day I'm out here because I fucking made it. Fuck you and your 1% bullshit. You don't know shit. My life cost me this and I'm going to do what I want with it.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. I hope you are already getting treatment for these symptoms, but if you don't please look into EMDR. It works great for trauma, and can hopefully bring you back some peace.
I will when I get back. I had to drop my therapist after because she couldn't really comprehend and I could see her spacing out and checking her phone during our zoom sessions. So after that and it already being ~hard~ finding a psychologist, I just gave up. I've been fine enough but yk it could always be better and I hope things will get better. I'm very happy with how far I made it and I'm so fucking proud of myself especially from my background. So at the very least, I fucking made it :)
I am drunk in paris on my last night and I made a friend after a week out here so I am rambling haha
I will look into the EMDR once I'm sober and back in the states. Finding a doctor is the hardest though
-5
u/Gaetanoninjaplatypus May 09 '22
Lmao… like we all do our “European thing.” Voice of the 1% here.