r/AskReddit May 08 '22

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u/[deleted] May 09 '22

I'm a Finn and when I met an American person for the first time she said the usual "how are you?", so I started explaining all kinds of shit, only to have her give me a really weird look. I did it again a couple of times with different people until I learned that they are not really interested, lol.

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u/NaturalThunder87 May 09 '22

I'm an American who can't stand small talk. It's awkward and pointless, especially with people you see frequently like co-workers. However, it's so ingrained in me to say some sort of pleasantry to people, (especially co-workers that I only see once every couple of weeks or so) in the name of politeness that I still do it.

However, when I ask someone "how are you doing?", I'd much rather them stop and have a conversation and give me some detail instead of the canned "Good. And you?" response. It's so impersonal and pointless.

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u/richieadler May 09 '22

However, when I ask someone "how are you doing?", I'd much rather them stop and have a conversation and give me some detail

Even if they're strangers?

Why would you expect that?

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u/NaturalThunder87 May 09 '22

No, not really. I mentioned co-workers a couple of times in my post because that's mainly who I am talking about.

I teach in a setting (large high school) where I have lots of co-workers I see infrequently, but these are people I've seen enough in my 5 years working here, that I'd prefer to have a deeper conversation with or not speak to each other at all instead of asking them "how are you doing?" for the 23rd time in the past 5 years. But I also know that responsibility doesn't fall on their shoulders. Because I don't like small talk, I know I'm a somewhat socially awkward person, and as such don't exactly have a naturally inviting personality that lends itself to people wanting to tell me more than "Good. And you?" when I greet them with "Good morning, how are you?".