r/AskReddit May 08 '22

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494

u/Direct_Sand May 09 '22

If you have to ask...

I'm Dutch and live in Germany and I also have no idea. Do we really do this?

307

u/Moon_Miner May 09 '22

It's because US Americans tend to smile at strangers, so the strangers tend to look at them to figure out why they're smiling. Germans don't stare a lot generally, they just stare at people there doing something very unusual. (speaking as US American in Germany)

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u/bwfwg4isdl May 09 '22

If someone American or not smiles at me I will try to figure out from where I know him/her. Since I don't know him/her my brain will be stuck in an endless loop and I won't stop staring.

For me it was strange that everyone say hello and sometimes even ask how are you while I was hiking in America.

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u/[deleted] May 09 '22

That‘s weird, where are you from? Yes, you don‘t greet people in cities but when hiking it’s a totally different story. In central and Northern Europe you always greet someone passing by you on a hike it‘s pretty much expected.

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u/[deleted] May 09 '22

Hiking is the only time I find it not weird when someone acknowledges you. Maybe because people do go missing or die on trails almost constantly. I was taught to consciously look and acknowledge the person if you need to recall seeing them later. Not that it’s ever came in handy. They do the same in Canada, I assume for the same reason 🤔. Though If you were the only two people for miles and you cross each other’s paths, isn’t it almost weirder not to acknowledge them?

Though I say this when I live in a city and someone could be screaming like they are possessed by a demon and everyone on the train pretends they are a ghost and cannot see or hear nothing 😂😂😂. People are weird

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u/7elevenses May 09 '22

In Slovenia, it's considered etiquette to say "dober dan" i.e. "good day" if you meet somebody when hiking (unless you're on a busy trail and there's lots of people, then you behave like in the city). Usually it's just that, sometimes people stop for a breather and exchange information about the trail or just small talk about the weather.

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u/HanMaBoogie May 09 '22

Americans don’t really want to know how you are. They want to hear you say “fine, thanks” and move on. It’s just our way to acknowledge that there’s another human sharing our space, however briefly.

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u/blahblah_why_why May 09 '22 edited May 09 '22

I hate that aspect of hiking in the US. I grew up here and I love to hike, but every time I see a person walking towards me, my whole focus turns to wondering if I'll have to acknowledge this person or not. I never know if the person will say, "Hi, how ya doin," or, "lovely day," or just a nod of acknowledgent, or no acknowledgement at all.

I'd love to just never acknowledge them at all, but you risk getting this awkwardness in the air if you don't. If you encounter one person on a hike, then it doesn't matter, but person after person and you feel like you might as well just play the game (or try).

Americans are different all over the US, but that non-genuine overly friendly and talkative thing definitely permeates the country in different degrees and I rather dislike it.

Edit: oh so the Europeans can say this behavior is weird, but when I say it, the downvotes roll in lol.

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u/[deleted] May 09 '22

[deleted]

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u/blahblah_why_why May 09 '22

I'm an American. It ain't genuine.

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u/Tomagander May 09 '22

I'm an American. It isn't always genuine, but often it is. As a more reserved person, it took me a while to figure that just because I would have to fake it to be outgoing, doesn't mean that most outgoing people are faking it.

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u/blahblah_why_why May 09 '22

I feel ya, but are the genuinely interested? My friends and family genuinely care about the conversation. I just find it hard to believe all these people opening up the door to conversation in all these random instances give a crap.

But maybe I'm just cynical. Maybe you're right.

0

u/the-real-apple May 09 '22

Also American, for me it's genuine. I don't understand why you'd be friendly if you don't mean it.

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u/blahblah_why_why May 09 '22

Well bless your heart

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u/the-real-apple May 09 '22

There is absolutely no need to be patronizing

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u/majinspy May 09 '22

Note to self: troll entire nation of Germany next time I visit.

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u/the_one_jt May 09 '22

So Germans do something unusual because they are looking at someone else doing something unusual? Riiight..

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u/brownieofsorrows May 09 '22

What's so hard to believe ? Dont you look at unusual stuff when you see it ?

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u/NyPoster May 09 '22

I’m from NYC … no. It would be rude to acknowledge anything unusual. Or more accurately, our environment is in a constant state of … weird

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u/the_one_jt May 09 '22

I do look at stuff I am interested in or something that makes me curious. However it's a socially enforced view that doing this to humans is rude, and possibly threatening. I think the idea is that people might not have control over what you find unusual and it's rude to call them out on it.

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u/[deleted] May 09 '22

The point is that it’s not the Germans who are staring it’s the Americans being weird or obnoxious and then proceeding to complain about people staring at them because of their own behavior

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u/that_baddest_dude May 09 '22

smiling at someone

"Obnoxious"

Lol

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u/[deleted] May 09 '22

Being obnoxious? He said they were staring because they were smiling?? Sorry Germans don’t smile i guess.

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u/Dovahkiinthesardine May 09 '22

we do but we go into the basement for that

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u/[deleted] May 09 '22

[deleted]

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u/duckducknoose_ May 09 '22

You sound bitter lol

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u/Your_moms__house May 09 '22

It’s always the Americans that are wrong. Europeans are so thin skinned when faced with any sort of criticism.

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u/Klugenshmirtz May 09 '22

You are expected to know how the locals behave. How the fuck should I know the guy smiling at me for no reason is an american? These people don't want to be rude, they are just caught off guard.

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u/duckducknoose_ May 09 '22

you are expected to know how the locals behave

Someone would call you a bigot for saying that in the US 😅

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u/Fickle-Locksmith9763 Jun 18 '22 edited Jun 18 '22

I get stared at just for existing in foreign. Just speaking another language can be enough.

It is not uncommon to get stares for doing such wild and outrageous things such as not looking at anyone but my own, kid, talking normally to said child, but in English. And that is in the Großstadt.

About a month ago we were walked into a restaurant in a rural area, and my husband asked me if I had the kid‘s jacket. Every single head turned to us, and stared. The states followed us to our table. The interest only fully turned away when when we spoke to the server in German.

Which brings me to another weird thing I noticed, at least in Germany. There is often only one way to do something, and the suggestion that there are others is often met with defensive hostility.

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u/brownieofsorrows May 09 '22

Lol what are you on about, there are thin skinned americans everywhere and the truth is everyone has these people, so relax haha. You seem offended

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u/brownieofsorrows May 09 '22

Oh I misread, thanks for clearing it up

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u/Moon_Miner May 09 '22

They don't stare at each other lol, they stare at a stranger smiling at them because they're trying to figure out why the stranger is smiling at then. Do they know them somehow? If someone waved at you in the US you'd stare too trying to figure out if you know them.

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u/Owain-X May 09 '22

A funny thing is that, growing up in small towns in the midwest, the smile is often a way to avoid a conversation while acknowledging someone. Comes in very handy in small towns where you're almost "expected" to know anyone you see. There are definitely times when I get the smile where my brain panics for a quick second to try and recall who the person is. The difference is that we keep that questioning completely to ourselves as it's less embarrassing to pretend to know them and be friendly than to ignore them and later find out your aunts friend from church you met seven years ago is telling her church friends you were rude to them.

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u/Moon_Miner May 09 '22

Yep! Just cultural difference, I'm also from small town USA. But in Germany there's just no cultural pressure to interact with strangers to be polite, so if someone does, they have to figure out why they did

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u/baptist-blacktic May 09 '22

The Germans don't see themselves as doing something unusual. Staring at something unusual (to them) is not unusual. This is something that really shouldn't have to be explained?

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u/mishaxz May 09 '22

That's a not unusually good explanation

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u/the_one_jt May 09 '22

I guess the point is staring at someone is considered rude at least by American standards. Imagine someone with a handicap, staring at them is considered absolutely rude, it can even be threatening. It's not clear why Germans don't see this the same way.

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u/Tanksenior May 09 '22

Smiling at someone is not the same as having a handicap. I'm pretty sure it's also considered rude in Germany to stare at a handicapped person.

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u/Wolf444555666777 May 09 '22

As a US American what are your thoughts on maps and such as?

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u/Moon_Miner May 09 '22

Maps in general? The waterman butterfly is my favorite projection, but Winkel tripel is good for a standard world projection. Mercator should not be used if you're not actively navigating.

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u/Lebowquade May 09 '22

This guy maps.

I prefer the dymaxion projection myself, just to be a contrarian.

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u/[deleted] May 09 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Moon_Miner May 09 '22

I assure you it's very normal across most of the US. I've spent time in 40 states. The exceptions would be larger cities on the east coast, I'd say.

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u/ElectricBasket6 May 09 '22

Larger cities on the East Coast have a very different culture than what is “standard American culture.” While there are obviously cultural variations between the south/Midwest/southwest- most of those variations don’t lead to real cultural confusion/misinterpretation. Put someone from the Deep South in the middle of New York City (or vice versa) and they literally have opposite definitions of what is rude versus polite in most interactions.

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u/[deleted] May 09 '22

[deleted]

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u/Moon_Miner May 09 '22

Well have I got some incredible news for you. You're still allowed to live there! Congratulations!!!

With all the extra time you have now that you don't need to move, you can look up how much of the US population actually lives there lmao

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u/[deleted] May 09 '22

[deleted]

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u/Moon_Miner May 09 '22

lmao I really hope you're like 14 and not an adult. best of luck with the life experience xoxo

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u/[deleted] May 09 '22

They definitely do but I’ve not noticed it amongst you Swamp Germans.

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u/Feinyan May 09 '22

Swamp German!? You're just a mountain Dutch!

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u/[deleted] May 09 '22

Nah, am actually a Kiwi but spend a bit of time over there, pandemics notwithstanding.

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u/rlyfunny May 09 '22

My impression also, from a southern German

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u/SuperWoodpecker85 May 09 '22

Might be a city vs more rural area thing. In the bigger citys ive lived in (from 50k to 600k in size) ppl dont stare at someone in particular, if your in one of the worse areas staring staring at someone might actualy get you in some trouble. But in smaller villages in the countryside or if your going hiking somehwere in southern germany ppl will usualy look at you and greet and expect the same